I think it was a very good story.

However, I've a few nits to pick.

Since I hadn't been reading that closely on my first time through, and
skipped around a bit, it seemed as if "I need ... to talk to him," and
the stuff that followed, was referring to Tsubasa.  I was misreading, >>of 
course, but... I think she really ought to go talk to Tsubasa.  >>Perhaps 
if she could simply talk with him, without fighting, she >>might be able 
to get him to give up on her, without having too hard >>feelings about it.

Unlikely I know... maybe about as unlikely as convincing Kuno to give
up, but she ought to at least try.

The other nit is... if she's deciding that she and Ranma are >>strangers, 
shouldn't she call in on his tab, for all the free >>okonomiyaki she's 
given him?

Yes I do need to fix that first part up a bit.  I'm assuming that the reader 
knows that there is no way in hell the thought about talking to Tsubasa 
would ever cross her mind.  True, I like Tsubasa, and I have many plans for 
him in the future.  However as much as I like Ukyou, I think she's a bit too 
thickheaded to ever truly give Tsubasa a chance.  I don't know if Replaced 
was all that popular (doubtful) but in that one Tsubasa really isn't all 
that bad and Ukyou just doesn't want to talk to him, period.

Ok about calling in the tab ... I don't think she's going to try for that 
simply because she wants him out of her life, not in her debt.  She's 
desperately trying to get him to stay out and in all honesty, I doubt 
Ranma's the type to let something like that slide.  I have no intentions of 
actually keeping Ranma out because I doubt he'd stay out.

I'm currently working on some other stories to intertwine with these and 
maybe I'll be posting them soon.  I hope everyone likes them.

_________________________________________________________________
Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com


             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'