Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sat, 22 Jun 2002 00:38:56 -0500 Donald Lee Granberry
<noharness@mac.com> wrote:
The following story is based on the fictional
characters, situations, and settings created by Rumiko
Takahashi for her Ranma 1/2 series of manga. They are here
used without permission.
You're going to lose your PG rating if you keep saying that. :}b
I'm still trying to puzzle out what is causing this.
Ranma had not bothered with a verbal warning. This was
{anything goes : Anything Goes} martial arts with an edge--the edge of
surprise
and it belonged to him. Four of the bastards went down
quickly. The remaining three ran outside. Ranma had followed
them. Much to his surprise, Soun Tendo was standing there
with a bo. The three thugs Ranma had been chasing were lying
on the pavement unconscious.
This distraction nearly cost Ranma his life. Another
swordsman attacked and Ranma had not realized it until almost
too late. The man's katana sliced through Ranma's shirt
making a shallow but painful cut down his chest. But a miss
by a fraction of an inch was as good as a mile in this game.
The thug recovered quickly from his miss and was now
preparing to cut Ranma down {: with} overhand strike {with : of} his katana.
Ranma's training took full control. The hours and hours of
kata had honed his nerves and muscles into {: a} finely made, and
horribly efficient killing machine, quite without Ranma fully
realizing it. He suddenly found himself in possession of a
sword while a headless opponent lay twitching at his feet. It
had all happened as if by magic.
Yeah, this one is a real mess. I'll work on it.
Ranma allowed Ranko and the corpsman {: to} sit him down. He
felt the prick of a needle on his left arm. A sense of calm
rapidly spread through his body. His vision faded quickly as
the drug put him to sleep.
"Ah, well, more like a brother, I think," Ranko said, not
sounding very certain.
"Just my luck," the corpsman said with a wry grin. "The
pretty ones are always taken by the time I get there."
If I were the corpsman, I'd at least initially think that Ranma and Ranko
aren't brother and sister and Ranko hasn't admitted how close they really
are. Possibly an opportunity, but probably not.
Geez. He used it as an opportunity to tell her how pretty she was without
being too forward, okay? He's trying to make a good first impression without
being pushy. The very next action in the story is Ranko blushing. Subtle for
the Ranma-verse perhaps, but I really do think it's best for this kind of
story.
Thanks, Micheal,
Don Granberry.
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