DB Sommer wrote:
 >>"Fool.  It's magnetized.  No steel shall harm *ME*!"  The villain tapped
 >>Lina's crystal prison, glad that its silence both stopped her from
 >>casting spells and kept from his ears the curses he could see her
 >>mouthing.  "And you...were this girl's last hope?  How pathetic."
 >
 > Ah, that won't last long, methinks.

Which won't: hope, or the crystal?

 >>Nothing in the history of the world had ever brought a full-on Lina
 >>tirade to a screeching halt.  But, as they say, there is a first time
 >>for everything.  Lina could do nothing but gape as Gourry wielded the
 >>black blade as if he had been born holding it.  While the sorcerer who
 >>had kidnapped her was powerful, Gourry just batted his attack spells
 >>aside without blinking an eye, finishing by reflecting a Dragon Slave
 >>back at its source.
 >
 > Ohh. That sorcerer didn't suck, all right.

C'mon.  Even third rate sorceres can cast the Dragon Slave.  Lina
herself said so in one of the first few eps.  ^_-

 > Only when the battle was finished did Gourry slice
 >>open the crystal around Lina.  Under different circumstances, Lina might
 >>have intuited that he had been worried about stray shots hitting Lina if
 >
 > hitting her (would be better, IMO)

<nods>  Unfortunately, it's rather difficult to correct this one now
(given as it's all over the Web by this point), but I'll keep this in
mind for next time.

 >>Under other circumstances, the fact that Lina stayed asleep all the way
 >>back to the nearest inn might have indicated severe shock or fatigue.
 >>While this was her condition in this case too, her antagonist in this
 >>case had forsaken the usual remote tower in favor of a nice, suburban
 >>dwelling, so the nearest inn was but a few minutes' walk away.
 >
 > How convienent, for a change.

You're an evil overlord in your tower, days away from the nearest farmer
or town, you've got the munchies, and your cupboard is bare.  Whaddya
gonna do?  ^_-

 >>"Are you ok
 >
 > okay

Okay.  ^_^;

 >>"I'm fine," she replied weakly, "but you've got five seconds to get your
 >>hand off my-"
 >>
 >>"That's not my hand."  Gourry frowned at the attendant.  "If you don't
 >>mind..."
 >
 > Heh

Gourry: But at least he's acknowledging you have them.  I mean, you yell
at me all the time for-

<insert violence here>

 >>"Oh, sure.  Didn't you know?  Amelia's been studying all sorts of
 >>ancient texts that Zelgadis has been unearthing and sending to her.
 >>They've been trying to find a cure for his condition, and while they
 >>haven't found one yet - oh, my, I almost forgot!  Amelia's been hurt!
 >>You've got to save her!"
 >
 > Definitely a scatter brain. Might be nice to give the guard a name.

What, didn't you know?  Part of the requirement for being one of
Amelia's lackeys is that you have to give up your name.  ^_-

 >>"Done!  Such a deal!  I thought for sure you'd charge more than that to
 >>save her from your sister."
 >
 > Well, so much for that idea.

Even Lina can overcome her fears...usually.

 >>restaurant disappeared after she went in.  A short while later, Amelia
 >>reappeared, coughing up blood and clutching her stomach.  She collapsed
 >>before she could tell us what happened.  We took her here to recover,
 >>but none of our white magic could find a thing wrong with her.  We
 >>couldn't even find a wound on her skin."
 >
 > Well, they don't know for certain if it was Luna who did it.

No, but it was a good guess, given who Amelia would have been asking
for.

 >>Amelia's cry had stopped by the time Lina got to her room, though Lina
 >>almost let out a yelp upon brushing through the other worried, but
 >>impotent, attendants present and seeing her friend's condition.
 >>Amelia's skin was whiter than the sheets she lay on, her hands gripping
 >>the sides of the bed hard enough to rip the fabric, and her whole body
 >>shook like a daffodil in a mild earthquake.  Her unseeing eyes were wide
 >>open as her mouth pressed itself shut, suppressing further outbursts.
 >>The only obvious sign of anything specifically wrong was the bulge under
 >>her bellybutton, visible where her shirt had been left pulled up in a
 >>fruitless effort to find injection marks or some kind of wound.
 >
 > Ah, she's been impregnanted by an Alien Facehugger. Best to kill her 
before
 > it bursts out of the chest.

It's not her chest that's the problem.  Besides, the bulge isn't
moving...yet.  ^_-

 >>The attendant already in the hallway started to comply, then noticed
 >>Gourry's hands at his side.  "What about you?"
 >>
 >>"I've been through this before.  Lina saved me, too.
 >
 > Oh? Now that sounds  forebodeing.

No, foreboding would have been: "Well, once she's done...you guys *do*
know Ressurection, right?  White magic isn't Lina's speciality."

 >>"Lemme guess, you had the dragon's blood soup, right?  You gotta be
 >>careful with that.  It did the same thing to me, first time I had it."
 >
 > ARGH!! I... I should have seen it coming. I should have seen it, but 
didn't.
 > Nice work.
 >
 > Perfectly delivered, BTW.

Thanks.  ^_^

 >>"Lina...when Luna said you were going to save me from myself, I didn't
 >>think she meant it this way."
 >>
 >>"Yeah, well, that's my sis for you."  Raising her voice towards the door
 >>and releasing her no
 >>se,
 >
 > Odd line break there.

Huh.  Didn't see it when I posted it.  Oh, well.

 >>Lina sighed.  "Ehh, figured there'd be a catch.  Tell you what, I'll
 >>accompany you back to Seyruun and
 >
 > Seyrunn, and

Only if she's pausing there.  She isn't.

 >>Once they were on their way, it did not take long to find a bandit camp
 >>in the forest.  It helped that Gourry had talked the constabulary out of
 >>some hints while Lina was practicing the Growth spell.  A large number
 >>of bandits had turned themselves in recently
 >
 > Ohhh. A very bad sign.

Actually, a very good sign, from the constables' point of view.

 >>"What, don't you know who you're traveling with?  It's Amelia of the
 >>Dark Justice!  They say when she inflicts her righteous wrath, monsters
 >>gather to revel in the torture!  No bandit in 'is right mind would dare
 >>stand up to her!"
 >>
 >>"Hello?  You've heard of her but not me?"
 >
 > My, that is a surprise. One would think it's an alternate universe or
 > something.

No, the bandit just had a more recent legend to worry about.  One that
was said to be in his immediate area.

 >>"Hmm, what's this?"  Xelloss leaned in close.  "I was only told to hang
 >>around you for a while, to answer your prayer.  I never imagined you'd
 >>actually asked for my aid.  If I'd known, I would've asked what you
 >>wanted instead of sticking around just long enough to scare your
 >>enemies."
 >
 > Heh. Looks like even Xellos doesn't know it all.

Of course not.  Hellmaster's plans were a secret even from him, no?

 >>Lina blinked.  "What?  What?"
 >>
 >>"Really, Lina," Xelloss tsked.  "*You* know Telepathy.
 >
 > Does it need to be capitalized here?

It's a spell, like Dragon Slave.

 >>Amelia from my own sister's 'service', then I get that new spell I'm
 >>still memorizing, and now Miss Justice starts taking after Xelloss.
 >>It's going to be one of those days."
 >
 > I'd say it's already been 'one of those days.'

Depends.  Just what is the normal level of hassle they're used to?  ^_-

 >>"MONSTERS CAN'T CAST WHITE MAGIC, YOU DOLT!"
 >>
 >>Xelloss smiled.  "Oh, my, did *I* do that?"
 >
 > Hmm. Very peculiar.

Indeed.  ^_^

 >>"Because I don't know where the place is, but Luna said you'd know."
 >>
 >>"Aw, no, do we have to drag *her* back into this?"
 >>
 >>Amelia shrugged.  "There's more than one 'Bay of Death' in the world,
 >
 > Hehehehe. Cute.

I figured there'd be a few legends about Lina that even she had lost
track of.

 >>"Luna said he heard a rumor that a powerful spell was cast there, and
 >>that traces of it still remain.  He was hoping to study the traces to
 >>see if he could recreate the spell, to see if it could cure...hey!"  It
 >>was only the fact that Amelia was sitting between Lina and the door that
 >>let the princess grab Lina as she ran by.  "*Excuse* me, Lina, but..."
 >
 > My, that is bad.

Only the end of the world...again.

 >>"By which time, you'll be so tired you'll probably crash into him just
 >>as he's trying the spell, with our luck.  Give me a moment."  Amelia
 >>released Lina, then crossed her wrists and cupped in her palms the blue
 >>charms on her wrists, which began to glow.  "Zelgadis...please, my love,
 >>hear my words..."
 >
 > So, she actually called him her 'love.' How sweet.

<shrugs>  She's got no problem admitting it that I know of.  Just Zel.

 >>Even with disaster delayed, none present thought it wise to delay
 >>presenting a detailed explanation to Zelgadis, Lina in particular.
 >
 > Probably for the best, yes.

Eh, possibly.

 >>"Oh, you'll see.  Besides, I only want the happiness you and Gourry
 >>al
 >>ready have."  Amelia blushed.
 >>
 >>Lina twitched.  "
 >
 > Yeah. She definitely should not be so open about Lina's feelings 
concerning
 > Gourry. :)

One would think she'd learn...eventually.  ^_^;

 >>"I have been.  I've been looking at where he's been holding onto you.
 >>You object when other people see him grab your breasts.  Is it that you
 >>only object to other people thinking the mighty, powerful Lina Inverse
 >>is in love?"
 >>
 >>"I...ah..."
 >>
 >>"If it *is* that, I'd think it's a kind of strength compared to the
 >>alternative.  To be all alone in the world, to have no one to comfort
 >>you..."  Amelia sighed.  "...to pine for your heart's true love as he
 >>searches for what you hope is the only thing more important to him than
 >>you are..."
 >
 > Heh. Now this is more like her. She was a bit savvy up to that point 
in her
 > discussion with Lina

What can I say?  She's been on a roll.

 >>"Ssh!"  Gourry began to draw his sword.
 >>
 >>"Not you, too, Gourry."  Amelia frowned.  "Look, if my talking about it
 >>upsets both of you, I'll stop, but-"
 >>
 >>"We're surrounded!"
 >
 > Heh. There we go.

C'mon, admit it.  You knew it was going to happen.  ^_-

 >>Gourry beheld the bladeless sword grip in his hand, then tilted up his
 >>scabbard with his free hand and watched flakes of rust fall out.  "Man,
 >>I knew I shouldn't have let you talk me into just grabbing something
 >>from the discount bin."
 >
 > Heh. Reminds me of an old Cerebrus comic that had an Elric parody in it.

I'll take your word on it, never having read Cerebrus myself.  But it
doesn't surprise me that I wasn't the first to come up with that joke.

 >>She almost missed Gourry simply chucking the hilt into the trees and
 >>listening to it strike metal.  "Hmm...as I thought: they're wearing good
 >>armor.  Plate mail, stainless steel with minimal decorations...hey, you
 >>wouldn't happen to be the Northern Vigilantes, would you?"
 >>
 >>"You know them?"
 >
 > Makes things easier, parlaying, that is.

That it does.  A most civilized massacre, this might have been.

 >>"Should we have?  You're just Lina Inverse."
 >>
 >>"'Just' Lina Inverse?  Hello, Miss Bandit Slayer here!  The one who slew
 >>Shabrunigdo, Gaav, Phibrizzo, *and* Dark Star?"
 >
 > Heh. Her rep seems to have been forgotten quickly. She needs to kill 
another
 > god like being.

Metallum's out, unless she thinks it could cause Xelloss to take her
place.  Would her fishing spell catch a Mazoku Lord who just happened
to have traits of dolphin and live undersea?

 >>"If you say so.  All we've heard is that you taught Amelia.  But if
 >>you're trying to say *you're* a bandit hunter too, taking what they
 >>stole and making it so the original victims can't ever find their loot
 >>again...well, I guess we'll just have to punish you, too, then.  Nice of
 >>you to tag along with Amelia: we can clobber both of you, and your
 >>boyfriend, at once."
 >>
 >>"Hey!  Gourry is *not* my boyfriend.  Bodyguard, maybe, but-"
 >
 > Lina: Definitely sex slave, but not boyfriend.

Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, was it, with the outtake about Rei telling
off Lina about their breast sizes in the doujin?

 >>"XELLOSS SPY!"
 >>
 >>Already ducking as she was, when Lina's footing slipped, it was not a
 >>far trip for her face to fault on the ground.
 >
 > Makes it easier, it does.

Quite.  Less painful, too.

 >>"It started out as black.  Who knew?"
 >
 > Irony, it's true.

Gourry: Hey, the sky is blue!

Lina: Gourry, we've got to get you a clue.  -_-

Amelia: Hmm...nope, too many syllables.

Line: -_-;

 > Amelia shrugged.  "I hope you've
 >>got your stomachs ready.  We're still surrounded, but the only people
 >>this way are their cooks, and it was lunchtime for them too."
 >>
 >>"You mean...?"
 >>
 >>"Yes, we're going to do an eat and run!  Here we go..."
 >
 > Wow. Amelia is a strategist. Who knew a spell could work such 
miracles. :)

Well, she *is* a princess, and more importantly the heir apparent to the
current monarch of Seyruun.  As such, she's probably had at least a bit
of military training, on the off chance that she ever has to lead what
army Seyruun has (say, a volunteer army fending off some invaders).

Which is another reason Xel told her the spell but not Lina: Lina's no
army commander.

 >>Checking inside the pit, Lina found the part-golem, with his tent
 >>pitched at
 >
 > might need a comma between pitched and at, but I'm uncertain. It does 
read
 > off to me without it, though.

Hmm.  Perhaps if I'd had "set up" instead of "pitched", or perhaps even
left that out.  Emphasis was supposed to be on the tent being at the
bottom of the pit.

 >>"As you wish.  Levitation!"  Within moments, Zelgadis and his tent rose
 >>from the pit and began to hover away from it.  "Is there anything else
 >>you wish to discuss with me?"
 >>
 >>"Oh, yeah.  Amelia thinks she has a cure for you."
 >
 > Zel: Bah. I have better things to do than worry about that.

Lina: No, no, the cure for that love potion you two accidentally drank
when you first met.

Zel: Why didn't you say so?  I've been holding out as long as I could;
any longer and I'd actually...yech...have to kiss her.  No offense, I'm
sure she'll make you a fine wife, but Gourry knows my real feelings have
always been for him!

Amelia: Aw, Zel.  Who do you think did this to us, anyway?

Naga (from shadows): Curses!  Just when I thought I'd gotten my little
sister away from *my* Lina for good!

 >>"Amelia.  I've been through that all before myself, many times.  Let's
 >>just see if it works.  What is it: a spell, a potion, some kind of
 >>ceremony?"
 >
 > Ameilia; Plastic surgery. They'll do rockosuction and skin grafts to 
slowly
 > replace everything until you're a new man.

Zel: A new man?  Hmm...could I be Rezo, then, but without being blind?

 >>Light surrounded Amelia and Zelgadis, then faded.  Zelgadis began moving
 >>again, experimentally flexing his hands and arms.  "Well, I don't feel
 >>any different."
 >>
 >>Amelia, however was looking at her blue hands in joy.  "No, it worked! I
 >>know it!  See?"  She picked up a nearby chipped rock and whacked it
 >>against her forearm a few times.  "No blood, and I'm barely even feeling
 >>it.  Which means..."  The princess ran over and glomped Zelgadis.
 >
 > Heh. Well, at least he's not alone, although that doesn't really cure his
 > condition, which was sort of the point. It was a nice gesture, though.

Wait for it.  ;P

 >>"Ow!  What..."  Who pried her away, to see that her hair had punctured
 >>his shirt and skin a bit.  "Blood.  That's...my blood."  He widened the
 >>tear in his shirt, to see pink flesh underneath.  "I'm...you did it.
 >>You did it!!"  He hugged Amelia tighter, careful to keep her razor-wire
 >>hair away from his flesh.
 >
 > Oh. Even better then. Of course there might be a problem with Amelia now.

Wait for it.  ;P

 >>"Well, I remember hearing something about how you could call on anyone
 >>you knew, tap magic directed into kind of a personality template.  The
 >>person wouldn't even have to be that powerful, just the magic.  But
 >>that's ridiculous."
 >>
 >>Gourry nodded.  "Which means it's about to happen, right?"
 >
 > Of course.

Laws of the universe, don't'cha know?

 >>"We teleported."
 >>
 >>Lina tried to pick out which grunt had replied, but whichever one it was
 >>did not seem to be in the front ranks.  "How?  You need a gate or some
 >>large device for teleportation, and-"
 >>
 >>One of the grunts flickered out, then reappeared right in front of Lina.
 >>"Bah, you haven't even heard of a Teleport spell?"
 >>
 >>"...those...don't...ex-xis-st..."  Lina gulped, trying to convince
 >>herself it was only to moisten her suddenly dry mouth.
 >
 > Yes, it does seem anyone can cast a spell when they want to lately.

Wait for it.  ;P

 >>Immediately deducing what was about to happen, Lina slapped her hands to
 >>her ears.  "I'M NOT LISTENING!!!"
 >
 > Heh.

Aaaand...wait some more.  ^_^;

 >>#...lend to me your terrible fury.  Destroy the fools who stand before
 >>me!#
 >>
 >>"NO, NO, DON'T DO THIS AME-"  And then Lina went limp except for her
 >>legs, arms fallin
 >>g to her sides as her mind briefly left her body.
 >>
 >>"LIIINAAA SLAAAVE!"
 >
 > Sigh. I never conceived of that. I really wish I had. The Lina Slave. 
It's
 > perfect.

That, and the opening scene, were what inspired this whole fic.  ^_^

 >>"Don't think of how you can repair this, Amelia.  You'd just make it
 >>worse than I did."  He smirked.  "Besides, you've got Zelgadis to
 >>cuddle.  Why don't I leave you alone for a few hours, too?"  He started
 >>walking off in the direction opposite the way Lina had taken.
 >>
 >>Amelia started to follow, only to feel Zelgadis's hand on her shoulder.
 >>"He didn't mean that as a question, Amelia."
 >
 > Amelia: But he put a question mark on the end.

Some questions...himitsu desu.  ^_^;

 >>"Huh?"  Amelia turned around, to see Zelgadis wiping some bloody smears
 >>from his face, with a cloth moistened from his canteen.
 >>
 >>"That's all of them."
 >>
 >>"What are you..."  She squinted.  "Popping zits?"
 >>
 >>"Yeah.  Really annoying.  My pores just wouldn't open up while they were
 >>stone.  Good thing the zits just looked like darker stone.  But they're
 >>all clear now.  You can give the stone skin back, if you want."
 >
 > Hehehehehe. Cute.

C'mon, someone as concerned as he is with his looks, and he's not
concerned with those dark spots?  (Seriously, take a look at any
picture of Zel, especially one of his chin or his cheek near his
ears, with this in mind.  "That's not a zit, *these*...are zits.")

 >>"Xelloss," he acknowledged without bothering to look at what was, in the
 >>end, just another part of himself.
 >
 > Oh? What a surprise.

By this point?

 > "I thought this time for sure.  Show
 >>her how little she truly knows, and maybe - just maybe - she'd question
 >>other beliefs, like about how she thinks she feels about me."  He
 >>sighed.  "She's as much the Lord of Nightmares as I am, yet I don't
 >>understand her at all."
 >>
 >>"As you say.  And she still doesn't remember merging with our ultimate
 >>Lord?"
 >
 > Ah. Now I see.

Dues Ex Gourry.  Which, I hope, is not a specific approach too many
others have taken.  ^_^;

 >>"Ugh.  I still need to get used to this
 >>everyone's-a-part-of-the-same-being thing."
 >>
 >>"Not that you should care that much.  You have but one purpose in this
 >>world."
 >>
 >>Gourry nodded.  "To love Lina.  And I do."
 >
 > Nice little twist at the end. Didn't see it coming. Amusing 
throughout. Nice
 > read. I'm glad I got to it.

Thanks.  ^_^


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