Kei and Yuri: The Dirty Pair
                                In Need of the Dark Knight

                                           By

                                     Nicholas Stone


                                  Prelude to Knightfall



Planet Rosomer, Stellus Quao System
Downtown New Berlin, 2144

Sirens screamed through the metropolis streets, a vast array of
para-police cars, mecharoids and assorted units converging upon the
altercation rocking the streets of New Berlin.  Out of the front
doors to a large bank ran several young hoodlums, cases full of hard
valuables and electronic data credit cubes stuffed underneath their
arms.  Several shots were fired in their direction, but the crooks
dived into their awaiting getaway craft, speeding away down the main
road.
Cackling cheerfully, the gang traded high-fives and pats on the arm
at the apparent success of their robbery.  A slim, rough looking man
with spike blonde hair glanced back at the rapidly diminishing
flashing lights, letting out a mocking grunt.
�Scumbag fuzz!� he shouted above the onrushing wind.  �We�re going to
be the most successful gang on this frig�n ball of crap!�
The driver, a dark toned skin headed youth, chanced a look at the
rear monitor.  �Don�t be curse�n us, man!� he replied, laying in more
speed, �We�ve still got the law chasing after our asses!�
�Nah, don�t sweat those idiots!  We got outt�a there before they even
showed up.  Once we�re on the beltway, they�ll never find us!�
A redheaded girl leaned over the seat.  �And if they do try to stop
us, we�ll just blast�em to hell with all of this firepower we�re
packing!�  Hefting a multi-barreled autogun in the air, she let loose
with a few stray shots.
�Knock it off!� shouted spike-head, �You wann�a mark us for those
chicken-scooters in the sky?�
�Let�em come!� cried a burly youth, pumping emphatically on the slide
of his blaster.  �I�m more than ready to do some bird hunting!�
The speeder whipped around a turn, laying out towards the final run
leading to the multi-leveled gravity beltway and escape.  It appeared
that no one would stop them, until something dark landed on the back
of the trunk and cam with a heavy thud.  Astonished eyes stared up at
the redhead staring calmly down at them.  Clad in a tight blue-black
body suit with gold metallic runs like those found on computer
motherboards, low top heavy duty combat boots, and sporting an array
of lethal looking pistols on either hip, the stranger suddenly waved
a hand and smiled.
�Hello, bad guys!� she said.  �My name is Kei, and I work for the
World Welfare Work Authority, or 3WA as it is commonly known,
currently on assignment with your so-cool law enforcers here on
Rosomer.�
A cry came from the youths, cringing in fear.
�3-3-3WA!� shouted red.
�Yep,� replied Kei.  She peered at the beltway not far ahead, and
then knelt down on one knee.  �Listen, evil-doer�s.  You did a bad
thing back there robbing that bank and shooting all of those folks.
Tch, tch, tch, tch.  Naughty, naughty.  The Superintendent is very
upset, so to make your executions a bit more milder than they are
slated for now, why don�t you all just pull over and surrender like
good little condemned criminals, hm?�
The four delinquents stared up at her in disbelief.  Kei, not sure if
they hear her or not, leaned down closer.
�Uh, hello?  Rosomer to bad peoples.�
A clack echoed in the car as weapons were drawn up at the agent.  Kei
knew that this one would not go smooth like she wanted.  �Gee, you
really don�t know how much trouble you�re about to get into,� she
said, standing up.
�BLAST THIS BITCH!� cried spike-head, and the back of the speeder
erupted in a roar of gunfire that completely engulfed Kei.  The
firing droned on for several more seconds, then they stopped checking
to see how much was left of the Troubleconsultant.  Something small
and oblong in shape dropped into red�s lap.  It was smoking, tiny
bits and arcs of energy fizzing around the outer shell of its damaged
body.
�A Holocoy!� she shouted, tossing the thing to the floor.  It
flashed, and then a hazy image rose eerily up, Kei�s head forming
with a dark smile on her face.
<WELL� I WARNED YOU KIDS,> she said.
There was a loud boom from the front of the speeder, jerking the
would-be hoodlums around in their seats.  Another boom shattered the
controls and it careened off of the grav-way, it�s occupants
screaming fearfully for their lives as the speeder pitched up over
the protective railing and rocketed down into the lower levels.  An
explosion of fire and debris flew high into the air, rolling coils of
black and gray smoke marking the impact zone.
Up on one of the high rise buildings; Troubleconsultant Yuri pulled
her Remington MK-570 Kinetic rifle sharply aside, frowning at the
results of her actions.  Beside her, Kei gazed innocently up to the
sky whistling a short tune trying hard not to gloat at her partner�s
response.
�Ooo, I didn�t want that to happen,� said Yuri.  Kei�s whimsical
humming brought a dark glower her way; Yuri clearly not amused.
�Hey, wasn�t I the one who said you should use the blaster, but nooo!
�I can take out their engine with this no problem,� she says� yeah
right!�
�Well I did!�
�And tore up part of the grav-way, several levels of that skyscraper
over there, and oh� caused another forty or fifty needless deaths.�
Yuri grimaced, fighting back the urge to whack her silly partner
across her silly face.  Kei was right though.  From the looks of
things, their consistent bad fortune had struck once again.  More
fuel for the fire sure to be building amongst the populace of New
Berlin.
Sadly, Yuri rested the butt of her rifle on the ledge, leaning
against it as she stared down at the growing fires.  Sirens and
flashing lights dotted the grav-way, this was sure to make the
headlines of the six-o�clock news.
�Oh boy is Peter going to be mad at us,� she said, sighing lightly.
Kei peered down of over the ledge and let out a grunt.  �He should be
used to this by now,� he said.  �This is what?  Seven, eight times
the crooks have tried to muscle their way into the system?�
�This week,� replied Yuri.
A low beep came from their comlinks, a beep both of them really did
not want answer.
�You want to�,� Kei began.
�No, I think we should just ignore it and go down there,� answered
Yuri.
A large pillar of flame shot up into the air silencing the tow
consultants for a moment.
�Yeah, this is going to be good,� commented Kei.
Yuri smirked at her.  She slung her rifle over a shoulder and with a
thought activated her gravpack, hovering up over the ledge down to
the streets below�

* * * * *

In the now debris filled streets surrounding what was one of Rosomer�
s business buildings, several teams of firedroids and mechs fought to
contain the raging inferno while medical units tended to the injured
victims.  Police units had cordoned off the area for several blocks
around, but there remained a large throng of people wondering what
had happened, and more importantly who was responsible for such a
calamity.
The Angels move cautiously through the surrounding tragedy careful to
avert their eyes away from the throng of onlookers and police,
heading towards the burning buildings.  Short of harms way, they
spotted a lone figure clad in a crisp tan shirt with a wide leather
belt and strap running across his chest, black breeches and highly
polished boots, staring up at the inferno.  His tall frame should
have instilled a sense of authority to anyone that saw him, but his
shoulders seemed to sag slightly down and several times the two
agents thought they heard him blubber incoherently at random.
�Peter!� called Yuri, waving cheerfully as they got closer.  The
officer spun around and his face was held in a mask of shock and
fear.
Without a word, Superintendent Peter Warren turned back around and
stared up at the blaze then spun around again.  His dark beard
bristled, brows twitching making the girls stop dead in their tracks.
�Is there not one day you two can go without trying to destroy my
CITY!� he shouted at them.
�Not unless you want the bad guys to get away,� Kei replied, not in
the least intimidated by his anger.
A sharp prod to the ribs made her yelp, Yuri smirking at her before
moving closer to the good Superintendent.  �Ah, Peter� we�re really
sorry about this.  3WA will�.�
�You said that about the Coliseum!   You said that when you destroyed
three quarters of the industrial plaza in Salzburg!  You, you said
that when you wasted the entire mining compound at Grenoule!�
�Oh c�mon, this fire isn�t anywhere�s close to being a large as those
fires,� commented Kei.
�Will you stop antagonizing him!� snapped Yuri.  Kei rolled her eyes
and turned away with a huff.  Shaking here head, Yuri looked to find
Superintendent Warren gripping his all ready thinning hair, ready to
pull it out by the roots.
�Ah, Peter,� she began, taking a few steps back, �now I know we have
gone just a little bit overboard with our use of ordinance, but you
have to admit we are getting the job done.�
Warren couldn�t believe his ears.  He stared at Yuri and slowly, very
slowly lowered his arms.  The dejected look on his face remained and
with a brief light chuckle gazed up at the burning buildings once
more.
�I don�t know what�s worse� the criminals or, or having you two
 here,� he said.
�Hey, pal,� snapped Kei, �we�ve caused worse!�
Yuri and Warren both stared incredulously at her.  She grimaced, all
of her gruff and tough persona melting away.
�I mean it�s not like we do it on purpose,� she finished.
Yuri silently wished a stray neutron would crack her erstwhile
companion in the head.  �Most of the time its not our fault,� she
continued.  �Look on the bright side.  Casualties are low so far, the
crime sprees have all but been eliminated, and you still are in
charge here.�
Yuri�s bright grin did nothing to improve Warren�s feelings.  �I�m
doomed,� he said, walking off towards his command car.
�Geesh, what a sorehead,� said Kei.
�Well if you wouldn�t be so quick with the smart-ass comments he�d
might appreciate us better,� replied Yuri.
Kei smirked at Yuri.  �Get off it,� she said, �You just have the hots
for him, that�s all that is.�
�Wha�, We should always be polite and professional in our duties,
Kei, and for your information I do not have the �hots� for
Superintendent Warren!�
�Yeah, right, and I�ve been meaning to ask is that the faint trace of
lilies in the air, or are you wearing some of my La Midnight Rev`ial
cologne.�
Yuri mouth fell open.  She gasped then turned walking off to join
Peter Warren at his command car.  Kei giggled, noticing how red her
partner�s cheeks had flushed and followed along behind her.  At the
car, Warren sat sideways in the drivers seat staring glumly at the
ground.  Beside him stood another uniformed officer, slightly shorter
that him fanning a book or pamphlet over his head.  The man turned
and smiled at the Angels.
�Hey, girls,� said Assistant Superintendent Garry Smith, �another
hard day at work, huh?�
Peter sneered up at Garry and he grimaced fanning the papers faster.
�Not so hard,� answered Kei.
Warren let out a small blubber, burying his face in his hands.
�Gee, is he going to be all right?� Yuri asked Garry.
�Yeah, it�s just a brief moment of shock.  He�ll get over it.�
�Hm.  So how are we doing so far?�
�Great!�  Smith stopped fanning, opening the papers in his hands for
the two Consultants to see.  �We�ve knocked out all of the major
crime syndicate operations in every production center on the planet;
crushed several drug rings trying to move in on our workforce, and
have eradicated a good portion of illegal trade exports and imports
coming in to the system.�
�So we�re a �success�,� said Kei, emphasizing the last word in Warren
�s direction.
�Oh, you girls are the best thing to come along since the
colonization!�
Warren looked sharply up.  �Bite your tongue,� he said.
�So, Smitty, you are saying that without US, you would not be as far
as you are NOW,� continued Kei.
�I wouldn�t go so far,� answered Garry, �But the Director�s Office
seems to think so.�
�And despite all of the mayhem and casualties you�ve caused, they
have informed me you two are going to continue your tenure here,�
said Warren.
He stared at the Angels before breaking down into fits and sobs
covering his face again.  Yuri did her best to console him but it was
no good.
�Ohhohoho, why me!� sobbed Peter, �why, why, why!  What did I do to
deserve having the Dirty Pair in my jurisdiction!�
Yuri�s firm blocking of Kei prevented Superintendent Warren from
feeling the destructive side of Kei�s knuckles; Garry helping to hold
her back as Warren continued to cry.
�You gonna let him get away with that?  You gonna let him get away
with that!� snarled Kei, struggling to get by them.
Although annoyed, Yuri could not allow her emotions, or Kei�s, to
upset their delicate position with the Superintendent.
�Kei, settle down, will�ya!�
�You�re gonna let him get away with that, aren�t ya!  All because you
�ve got that oven of yours set on high broil!�
Yuri took Kei by her arms and roughly pinned them down to her sides.
�He�s just misinformed, that�s all,� she growled at her.
�I-can-correct-that,� snarled Kei back, leaning up close into Yuri�s
face.
Just then a call came over the command cars comlink.
<All units we have a 1261 in progress, East Gravway heading towards
the Central Districts.>
�Oh good another car chase,� said Kei, all of her anger suddenly
gone.
�Sounds like our queue,� added Yuri.
Warren hit his head on the top of the car as he tried to jump to his
feet.  Groaning for a moment in pain, he staggered out then pointed a
finger at the girls.
�You two are not, (Ow, Shit!), you two are not going anywhere!� he
shouted, �This one we can handle.�
�Are you sure?� teased Kei.
Peter frowned at her.  �Don�t I hear a report calling you?� he said.
Before she could answer, Warren turned in the seat slamming the door
down shut.  He called for Garry to get a move on, firing up the
engine.  As the car rose up into the air, the Angels could only watch
in frustration as they sped away.  Yuri looked at her partner clearly
annoyed with her.
�What?� questioned Kei, noticing the stare.
�You keep that up and we both might find ourselves in one of those
narrow cells they have here.�
�He deserved it.  Calling us the �Dirty Pair� like that� Ooo!�
�You are hopeless, Kei.  �Yuri grabbed Kei by the collar, pulling her
along.  �C�mon!  Peter is right though, we do need to go and give
Bill an update on our situation here.�
�Not so rough,� muttered Kei, jerking out of her grip.  �Anyway, once
Bill sees things are going so well, he might think about reassigning
us to another hot spot.�
�Since I see you�ve not kept up with current Intel, this is the
hottest spot in the Confederation,� answered Yuri.  �We�re here for a
while.�
Kei jerked a fist down.  �Shoot,� she grumbled, �What else can the
baddies throw at us.  We�ve kicked butt on their best goons?�
�Never underestimate our opponents, Kei.  It�s a large universe out
there.  Who knows what they will come up with next��

* * * * *

Apollo City, Tavares Nexus System, 2144;

Pale blue-white lights illuminated a large business office, its black
and steel d�cor fitting the mood of the man seated behind a desk at
the far end.  Outside, night�s purple haze was slowly beginning to
surrender to the sun�s rays, but that did nothing to improve Thomas
Preston�s growing ire as he read over a long report spread out on the
desk before him.
The elderly kingpin of most of the underworld in the Confederation, a
slight curl of a lip was the only sign that he did not like what he
was reading.  A low growl sounded, Preston carefully turning another
page while the metallic strumming of his cybernetic fingers on his
right hand echoed through the office.  Finally, he sat back, deep
penetrating eyes roving casually over at the man standing almost at
attention off to the side of the desk and then turned his chair so
the back faced him.
�James,� called Thomas�s thick level voice.
The black-suited bald man seemed completely calm by the call, but a
slight twitch of his brows over the dark shades he wore belied the
concern running through him.  �Yes, Mister Preston?�
Preston lingered for a moment, allowing his man to ponder a bit more.
�James� why are we having such a hard time establishing operations in
the Stellus Quao System, hm?�
James was quite aware of the difficulties befalling Preston
Industries and their attempt to establish some sort of control over
the riches Stellus Quao possessed.
�A very troublesome place, Mister Preston,� he replied.
�Not the answer I am looking for� James,� said Thomas, swiveling
around towards him.
James maintained his demeanor, looking up to the ceiling while
retrieving every available piece of information at his disposal from
his neural link wetware.
�It is their government, sir,� he finally said.
Preston sat back, staring quizzically at him.  �Their government?�
�Yes, Mister Preston.  Their government.�
At a loss of words, Thomas Preston could only contemplate what his
aide just told him.  He looked around as if lost before speaking
again.
�James, I have governments in my pocket,� he said, patting his side,
�I have governments in my files.  I have many, many government
contacts, so what makes Stellus Quao so different?�
�The Director, sir.�
�The Director?�
With a thought, James brought up a solar display on the wall-sized
telemonitor across the room.  �Stellus Quao is governed by a
self-righteous dictator know as �The Director�.�  The display zoomed
in onto eighteen planets orbiting two twin suns.  �The Hierarchy of
Colonized States are governed by what can be called a form of �Free
Fascism� for lack of a better description.�
Preston milled about the information in his mind, trying to sort out
some kind of sense from it.
�James, are you telling me that the citizens of this Hierarchy have
willingly submitted themselves to sub-servitude and slavery?�
�Oh no, Mister Preston.  They have all the rights and freedoms found
on most Confederation planets, but it is quite clear that The
Director�s word is law, and he has the means to enforce his will if
needed.�
�I see.�  Thomas sat back, rubbing his chin in thought.  �That still
does not explain why we cannot get any operations in there.�
�The Director is a hard man to influence, Mister Preston.�
�What about his underlings?�
James paused.  �Each planet is controlled by a Superintendent hand
picked by The Director himself.  They are quite loyal and so far have
resisted all efforts of influence.�
�Other officials?�
�All Loyal.�
�Common citizens?�
�Not much success there I�m afraid.�
This was incredible!  Never had Preston heard of such devotion for
one man.  His mind reeled from the idea, not sure how to go about
furthering his aims, but he knew that Stellus Quao; and in particular
Rosomer, must be brought under his influence.  The mountain of wealth
promised made any other viable option unacceptable.
�James!  You out of all of your dealings, cannot think of a way to
slip past this Hierarchy�s police system?�
�Well at first we had made substantial gains, but, ah��
The hesitation brought a dark glower from Preston.  �But, ah?� he
said, questionably.
�The Hierarchy requested outside assistance from the Confederation,
Mister Preston.�
�And who, although I suspect I know the answer, did they get to help
them?�
�The, um� the 3WA, Mister Preston.�
Thomas�s fist slammed down on the desk startling James.  He spun away
from him fury twisted deep amidst the wrinkles on his face.
�Again Galet and the 3WA!� seethed Preston.  �What will it take to
eradicate them from the known universe?�
�Several strategic nuclear attacks,� said James.
The question was not one meant too be answered; Thomas looking back
at his assistant with a frown.  James lightly cleared his throat,
adjusting his tie.
�In particular� James, who did Galet send to the Hierarchy?�
�Uh� the, ah, the Dirty Pair, Mister Preston.�
�And they are still in one piece!�
�Ironically, sir, the Director is quite pleased by their
 performance.�
�What!�
Preston sat astonished by the news.  Once his shock passed, he sat
back in his chair and rested his head in one hand with a deep sigh.
�There have been casualties, Mister Preston,� continued James,
�however, they have been considered acceptable losses by the
Director.�
�Acceptable losses?�
�He deems it necessary to keep crime from spreading throughout his
domain.�
Thomas remained silent for a long moment, and then quite suddenly
began to laugh.  James, not sure what was funny, waited until he
finally settled before asking where the joke was.
�It�s odd, James,� said Preston.  �For the first time somebody
actually wants those two around.�
�That is humorous, Mister Preston,� replied James, flashing a brief
smile.
The humor quickly left Preston.  He looked back up at the telemonitor
and shook his head.  �Unfortunately, they also know pretty much every
trick in the book and can counter anything we attempt.�
�Would you like me to have the Director �misplaced�?�
�What?�  Preston waved the notion off.  �No, no, no, James.  That
might bring the hounds upon us, and steel the resolve of those
misguided souls in the Hierarchy.�
Steepling his fingers before him, Preston went into deep thought.
This situation would require a specialist, someone who could work
against the system and bring it crashing to its knees regardless of
3WA intervention.
�Have we exhausted all approaches and opportunities, James?�
�From what I have gathered, sir, yes.�
�Hmm.�  Thomas noted the time.  �I�ll have to give this some detailed
thought,� he told James.  �Let�s see what else is happening around
the Confederation.�
The telemonitor switched over to the local station where the morning
edition of Cory Emerson�s talk show was currently on.  The audience
clapped as they returned from a station break.  Cory�s petite
features came into view and she smiled.
[Welcome back,] said Cory.  [I now want to introduce Doctor Hans
Bornke and his son; Gilbert Bornke, both from the Weyland-Yutani
Cybernetic and Biogenetic division and discoverers of the incredible
find made just a few weeks ago.]
Hans and Gilbert Bornke both gave the cameras a cheery wave, their
white smocks and oddly ageless features out of place to Thomas
Preston�s eye.
[Doctor Bornke, Hans if I may, could you tell us about this finding
of rare DNA samples found on the newly reopened Earth Lunar mining
facilities?]
[Why I�d be delighted, Miss Emerson.]
As Bornke went into his dialogue, Preston sneered at the screen.
�Something the matter, Mister Preston?� asked James, noting the look.
�The last thing I want to see in the morning is one of Galet�s
indubitable lackeys,� commented Thomas.
�Her show does hold the highest ratings on the Confederation circuit,
sir.�
That did not please Preston one bit.  His sneer turned down into a
frown.  �Spare me such injustice, James.�
Just as his man was about to change the channels, something Doctor
Bornke said caught Thomas Preston�s ears.  He sat up with a start
just as the picture changed.
�Put it back!� he shouted.
�I thought you did not want to�.�
�But it back on!�
James returned to the channel, and Thomas listened intently to the
conversation going on.
[So your teams have found archived datagrams of pre-nanoclysim Earth�
s famed super-heroes?] asked Cory.
[Oh more than just super-heroes, Miss Emerson,] replied Bornke,
[other specimens of well known leaders, religious representatives,
why even a few super-villains have also been accounted for.]
[Super-villains?]
[Yes.  I have a pictures of them.  They were very hard to get.]
Bornke made a slight gesture and Gilbert held up a small holopad,
which he turned on.  Several headshots appeared and the camera zoomed
in on them.
[A spectacular discovery,] continued Bornke  [Some of the most
brilliant criminal masterminds ever assembled dating from the late
1980�s to the last of the breed from 2102.]
�You don�t say,� said Preston.  James did not like the tone his
master�s voice held.
Emerson meanwhile was scrutinizing the images.  [Here�s a creepy
looking character,] she said, pointing to one.  [Looks like some sort
of clown.]
Hans and Gilbert laughed.  [No, no, Miss Emerson.  Not a clown, but
one of Earth�s most devious and resilient criminals ever.  I present
to you, The Joker.]
Preston�s gaze was transfixed on the screen now, eyes bright as he
studied the Jokers features.  An odd feeling passed though James.
Something felt wrong, and by the way Preston was looking at the
screen, it was about to come around very shortly.
�Turn it off,� Thomas ordered his aide.  The screen went blank;
Preston sitting back clearly formulating some sort of plan in his
mind.
�James�.�
�Stand-by, Mister Preston.�
Thomas could see that James was a step ahead of him, retrieving every
nanogigabyte of information that could be found from the vast neural
databases at his disposal.  He twitched, looking down at him but
remained silent.
�Well?� asked Thomas.
��uh, might I suggest we try another approach, Mister Preston?�
�Why?�
�The Joker is listed as being mentally and criminally insane.�
Thomas smiled.  �That is just what I�m looking for, James.�
�Sir� he�s murderously insane.�
Thinking, Preston pondered this bit of news.  �Then he�s more than
perfect for my needs.�
Still, James persisted, not liking any of the sparse information he
managed to obtain.  Stepping closer to the desk, he let his concerns
be know.
�Sir.  With all due respects, this Joker is not one to be considered
a �reliable� employee if you get my meaning?�
�The Authorities, and the 3WA, will not be expecting it,� replied
Preston, looking up at James.  �Think of it.  One man.  Someone whose
entire existence was devoted to crime.  A mastermind I believe it was
said?�
�Who left a very long and bloody trail behind him, sir.�
�Really?�  Preston briefly paused again.  �A chance we will take.�
�And if we loose control of him, sir?�
�We will not loose control of him, James.  There are ways to keep
such men in line.�
James did not agree but remained silent.
�I trust we have agents working in the Weyland-Yutani laboratories?�
�Several sir.�
�Good.� Swiveling his chair around, Preston placed an intense stare
on him man.  �Get me a sample of the Jokers DNA if you would, James.�
There was hesitation, something Thomas Preston had never seen from
his faithful aide ever.  �Questions?�
�N-No sir,� answered James.  �I�ll get right on this.�
Pleased, Preston turned the chair back around.  �Have it in two days,
James.  There is much to do, and we must not keep the good citizens
of the Hierarchy waiting.�
�Yes, sir.�
James left, leaving Preston to speculate on his future gains in the
Stellus Quao star system.  A sinister smile formed, and he called up
an image of the Lovely Angels on the telemonitor.
�Let�s see how they handle this,� he said.  �Should be quite
entertaining�.�


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