This is a little character piece I've done for the Friendship Duology --=
this focuses on the oft-untouched relationship between Sango and Inu-Yasha.=
It contains poilers up to Episodes 53 of Anime, and the corresponding=
chapters of the manga, as well as things about Sango, Kohaku, Tetsusaiga,=
and Inu-Yasha's little 'problemn'.=20
Definitely looking for a critque on this before I post it to my=
site/FF.net/whatever. Thanks. ^_^
~Mandy
The Value of Empathy
Friendship Duology 1
Mandy Lever
It was the third time Inu-Yasha had gone to the pond. I don=92t think he=
realized that I was awake, listening to him get up and move to the waters=
we slept beside, near the village that had been ravished by Gatenmaru=92s=
forces earlier in the day.=20
How many times would he do it? How many times would it take to get the blood=
off his hands, from beneath his claws? How many times would it take for him=
to finally let it go?=20
I sat up quietly; Kirara stirred at my side, letting out a tiny mew. She was=
awake. Her two tails bobbed, and then she bounded away toward the river.=
Only now did I realize that she vanished when Inu-Yasha did. Perhaps he=
found company in her presence.
Perhaps he might find some in mine. Would forgiveness and understanding make=
things any better for him? He was so distant, and oft times, yes, inhuman.=
He was, at his worst, the things I had been trained to hunt and kill=
without hesitation as an exterminator. At his best, he was a grumpy young=
man I had begun to consider as a brother. He had taught me more then I=
would care to admit in lessons of trust, loyalty, and duty.=20
I could not condone everything he did, but I could not abandon him now. He=
had done too many kindnesses to me. He saved Kohaku from my own hand. He=
had shown me the strength of my brother=92s heart, revealed the truth of=
his imprisonment. He gave me hope.
I stepped over Kagome=92s sleeping form, Shippou buried in her arms. Miroku=
leaned against a tree, his head bowed and his staff caught in his folded=
arms. None woke as I moved past them.=20
The five of us were such a motley crew. An exterminator and a priest might=
travel together, but with a hanyou, a kitsune, and a timelost girl? By all=
rights, Shippou and Inu-Yasha would be my prey, and Miroku could bind or=
banish either. Kagome was a trespasser in our country and time. But yet we=
did more then tolerate them; we loved and respected them.
The sounds of splashing in the distance lead me to Inu-Yasha; as I rounded a=
tree I could see him, knee deep in the water. He dunked his hands, over and=
over again, into the water, a frenzied washing as he rubbed them beneath=
the surface of the pond. A sound of frustration bubbled up from his throat;=
he couldn=92t get it off. It was still on his skin, taunting supernatural=
senses.=20
Kirara sat on the bank, her war-form imposing in the moonlight. She made no=
sound; she merely waited, a patient presence.
The splashing stopped, and Inu-Yasha sagged in the water. Clothing soaked,=
he simply leaned forward, hands on his knee. His long hair shone in the=
moonlight; falling over his shoulders, down across his back, like a blanket=
of snow.=20
It wouldn=92t come off. While he had gotten the blood and maybe even the=
stink off his hands, his mind=92s eye saw it caked under his claws. I=92d=
seen it before, in my fellow exterminators. It was dangerous work;=
sometimes innocents were hurt or killed. the best let it make them a=
stronger hunter, more careful and determined. The weak fell to grief,=
madness and guilt ruining them as hunters and people both.
Inu-Yasha gave up. He straightened, shaking out his hair; droplets sprayed=
from the ends. For a moment, Miroku no longer centered over my heart.=
Inu-Yasha, when he was not aware of the eyes on him, could be a beautiful=
creature. His youkai blood blessed him with an exotic beauty that at this=
moment touched my heart=85 until he turned around.
He looked up toward Kirara, and I wanted to weep at the sight of him. My=
teeth fastened on my lip to keep from making a sound, as I watched him look=
so despondently to my long-time companion. He looked so bleak and lost; it=
was like someone had peeled the years away from his face and he was just a=
young, lost boy. A boy who had white hair and dog=92s ears, but still. A=
small boy.
He plowed through the water, his eyes dropping, and climbed onto the pond=92=
s bank.=20
I was privy to a rare moment of weakness, with this single friend who could=
not speak to anyone of his private grief. He looks a moment at Kirara, and=
she at him, before he put his arms around her furry neck and held on=
tightly.=20
I had never seen him hold another person in such a manner. Not even Kagome,=
who holds half his heart, and certainly not Kikyou. Could he not trust=
Kagome with this? If not, how could I expect him to trust me to understand?=
Only the mute Kirara, who could never betray his trust, was privy to this=
moment of complete vulnerability. He trusted us with so much; his=
moon-time, his life, but not with his grief or his hurt.
I felt immediately as I saw his shoulders shake once, that I was invading a=
private moment he had not chosen to share with any of us. I turned my back=
to the scene, hiding among the shadows between the trees. He did not weep,=
at least not that I could hear. The only sound that reached my ears was a=
gentle rumble from Kirara, as she had bent her head to nuzzle his.
A few minutes later, I reached up to one of the tree=92s branches, and=
snapped it off. It was a sound to alert him to my approach, giving him a=
few moments to compose himself.=20
I glanced just beyond the tree to see him hastily wipe at his face, before=
dropping down into his usual =91sulk=92 position: legs folded beneath him,=
hands tucked into the voluminous sleeves of his firerat hair haori.=20
I stepped around the trees once he was =91in position=92 as it were, and=
began my slow walk through the shrubbery toward him. He did not speak to me=
or I to him until I had taken up a seat beside him on the grass.
=93You don=92t have to pretend you care,=94 he said with typical sullenness.=
=93Aren=92t I the type of youkai you=92d hunt now?=94=20
Perhaps he sought a judge, or even a jury and an executioner. I looked to=
him from the corner of my eyes; he stared straight ahead over the water. He=
could not, or would not, meet my gaze.
=93I cannot hunt you, Inu-Yasha,=94 I offered as an answer after careful=
thought. =93You have taught me too much, and saved me so much pain. No=
matter what you have done, I cannot condemn you.=94
His eyes narrowed, but still he did not look at me. =93Do you think I need=
your comfort?=94 He snarled, lip curling to reveal a single, gleaming fang.=
=93I don=92t! I don=92t care about what happened.=94=20
Inu-Yasha is a terrible liar.=20
=93You do care,=94 I corrected him gently. Gods know why I had to push him=
so hard, but I could not allow himself to fester so. He is our soul, while=
Kagome is our heart. =93Or you would have left me slay Kohaku.=94
He did not have an immediate, angry answer for that. He simply fell silent,=
as he was wont to do.
We sat there in silence for a time, quiet and unhappy. Kirara to one side of=
him, me to the other, as if we=92d boxed him in. And perhaps, in the end,=
that=92s what he needed. After all, Inu-Yasha does nothing unless prodded=
or coaxed to it.
=93You were stupid,=94 he finally said. =93I couldn=92t let you just kill=
him. It=92d be like me trying to kill Kikyou. It=92d kill us both.=94
Kikyou. Kohaku. I wondered at the parallels, in the pair of us. He and=
Kikyou, Kohaku and I. Two people trapped by the people we love, who are=
already dead.=20
Already dead.
The pang of dread appeared fresh in my heart but I could not burden him with=
my pain when his was fresh and new. I was not here for my bleeding heart,=
but his.=20
Swallowing my hurt, I glanced to him. It took great effort to say, =93You=
saved me from something terrible and foolish. I should have had more trust=
in my brother.=94
He shrugged noncommittally.
Again the silence swallowed us up; I reached to touch Kirara=92s back, draw=
some of the comfort she had shared with him to my own troubled heart. She=
glanced at me, and then at him with crimson eyes, before standing up. Fires=
that burned nothing flared, and she was small again, twitching her two=
tails before mewing softly. However, she didn=92t claim my lap; it was Inu-
Yasha=92s she hopped into, curling her tails so they covered her nose and=
closing her eyes.
He reached down and brushed his fingers over her back, before letting his=
palm rest on the curve of her spine.=20
=93Why aren=92t you afraid of me?=94 he finally asked.
=93Because Inu-Yasha is Inu-Yasha,=94 I said after pondering my answer. =93N=
o matter what lurks in his blood, he will always be Inu-Yasha. Even if he=
becomes youkai, he is still Inu-Yasha.=94=20
He did not answer me for some time, but when he looked up from Kirara, there=
was a new look to his eyes; a hardness, certainly, but it was not him=
closing himself off rather, he looked as if he had found new purpose.
=93Na,=94 he said softly. =93Then I guess you=92re right.=94 After a moment,=
before allowing his eyes to cut to me. His expression kept that=
seriousness, and he nodded once. It was as close to a 'thank you' as I=
would get from the stubborn boy.
I gave him a small smile, warmed by the fact that while he was suffering, he=
was still strong.=20
The silence that welcomed us after that was a more companionable thing; he=
was still tense and I was still worried, but it didn=92t seem so terrible=
anymore. He knew what we all knew.
Inu-Yasha was Inu-Yasha. No matter what, that would never change.=20
I left him not long afterwards with only a nod and a good night. I woke the=
next morning to find Kirara had returned to nest by my head, and Inu-Yasha=
was no where to be found. Kagome fretted automatically, but Miroku and I=
exchanged a glance. He knew more then he ever let on, that houshi, and=
simply explained that Inu-Yasha had been suffering, but perhaps now was not=
the time to pursue him.=20
I agreed. After all, Inu-Yasha was Inu-Yasha, and if I gauged him right, he=
was going to try and make sure that would never change, daiyoukai blood or=
not.=20
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