Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sun, 16 Jun 2002 16:54:42 -0700 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
wrote:
Many apologies for my total lack of activity lately. Work is....
Well, I won't bore you with the details. Have some chapter two, and
special thanks to the Refuge for their help in refining this!
I guess the only way for you to make up for that is to write more. Soon.
I know you will do the honorable thing. :}b
You keep those tidbits of Ranma's past coming just often enought to keep
speculating interesting.
"It's _not_ my fault!" Motoko countered, overcoming her fear
of Ranma's aggressive demeanor. "_You_ were staring at _me_ in the
bath!"
"Like that means anything!" Ranma snapped. "I've got a much
better looking-- No, wait. I'm not going there again." He took a
deep breath and finished, "Suffice to say that I've seen better,
little girl."
Not quite going there. So I guess Ranma has at least visited the Tendos.
Notes: Divergences should become apparent as relevant.
Why does that remind me of Destiny's Child? There were a few minor
divergences there too of course.
Ranma tensed slightly, throwing both palms towards Motoko.
"Mouko Takabisha!" he countered, a flaring ball of golden light
forming between his hands and launching itself towards Motoko's
attack. The vacuum blades met with Ranma's fireball, countering each
other in a spectacular explosion, a thin wash of golden light
{passing : passed} through the smoke and {striking : struck} Motoko.
"But he can't be nearly as bad as all the perverts we
already have!"
Nice point.
"And you are a more worthy opponent than I had thought," the
{kendoko : kendoka} countered. Her sword was still held in a ready stance, as
her garb fluttered about her, strangely ominous in the updraft.
The second he shifted his stance, the girl calmed to an
iciness that rivaled his own, plummeting the last few meters and
landing on the ground easily. He dropped to the earth nearby, as she
took up a defensive posture. "Oh," he said, laughing weakly, and
running a hand through his hair. "I guess that looks kind of like
the way you throw a Mouko Takabisha," he joked. "Um, no, look. I
don't want to fight you, really. I got enough of that when I was a
kid."
I didn't think she was the one throwing Mouko Takabishas.
How was that any different from what he had done to protect
Suu and himself, all told? Perhaps it was simply that Suu had put
herself in danger, while Motoko seemed to accidentally put {her : someone else} in
danger? She considered that for a moment before shaking her head.
Motoko wasn't the kind to recklessly endanger the lives of any
resident of the inn, with the possible exception of Keitaro himself.
There are so many hers in that paragraph I thought that one might be made
more specific.
"No!" Motoko yelled. "Not at all! Suu, don't sleep with that
man. Come and sleep with me instead!"
No one could take that wrong. Nope, nope, nope...
Haiku of my lament:
Forgive my spelling,
my U.S. education,
is the source of blame.
I didn't find any English spelling errors in this, that's what spel chekers
are for anyway.
You've gotten me interested in Love Hina now. I'll have to see if I can
find any.