Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Sat, 15 Jun 2002 23:14:58 -0400 Sam Vilsmeier <syp104@email.psu.edu> wro=
te:

Good, no one in the {halls : hall}. No one in the {halls : hall} to see t=

he dried tears that

framed her porcelain face.

She cautiously inched the door {: open}. Time to wash up, to cover the ev=

idence of

her sadness and {tears : fear : fears}.

In a cascade of soap and water she wiped away the {tracts : tracks} left =

by her tears

and glanced in the mirror. All she saw was herself.

When she got to the kitchen, she noted that all of the Outers were presen=

t.

Michiru was finishing {up on :} the cooking, Haruka was sitting back wait=

ing for

breakfast, while Setsuna was drinking her ritual cup of black coffee and =

was

reading the newspaper.

"I'm just fine Michiru-mama," replied Hotaru. To prove her {speculative :=

 putative} state

of happiness, Hotaru smiled. The smile was a wonderful, textbook example =

of

poor acting. A large, plastic Cheshire Cat grin to {give emphases to : em=

phasize} a

plastic mood.

Hotaru took a look at Michiru, and could see that she was not going to be
happy until she had an answer. "No {mama : Mama}," she lied.

"Well?" Inquired Haruka, noticing her {daughters : daughter's} reaction.

Hotaru shook her head. "No, it's fine Haruka-papa! It's such a nice day! =

I

think I'll walk."

I still think some thunder and lightning would go nicely here.

Hotaru rolled her eyes. Sometimes Haruka could be so overprotective. "Yes
{papa : Papa}..."

After she left Michiru turned to the other two {outers : Outers} and said=

, "I think

there is something wrong with Hotaru."

Setsuna sighed and looked over the rim of her paper. "I've seen nothing i=

n

the near future that could be considered a major event. Ask her if you li=

ke,

but it could just be that she's growing up." Setsuna then chuckled lightl=

y,

and waved off their concerns. "Do whatever you like, but I'll play no par=

t

{of it : in it.}"

She though a little more. He had {clamed : claimed} to be a great martial=

 artist too.

She suddenly giggled remembering the boastful arrogance when he proclaime=

d { : himself}

to be the best. While she knew that she would never be strong enough to b=

e

one she always envied Makoto and Haruka for their skill and confidence. S=

he

often wished she could be as healthy as they were. Or at least healthy as
any normal person, at any rate.

As she walked, Hotaru remembered why she usually got a ride. It was a lon=

g

walk. While most normal girls could easily walk the distance from her hou=

se

to Mugen, Hotaru was beginning to tire already. At this rate she would be
{luck : lucky} to make it before first bell. Taking a deep breath she len=

gthened her

stride, hoping she would not need to rest too many times. It was a full
kilometer away.

Hotaru sighed longingly as she observed the other students. Always
listening, never intruding. The conversations today were typical. The boy=

s

were talking about the girls, the girls were talking about the boys. Kana=

da

Ryu, the class's premier technology {Otaku : otaku} was boasting about hi=

s new

computer.

Yeah, right. He was in college! Why would a grown, mature man like Ranma
want to do anything with a little weak freak like her? She sighed longing=

ly

and continued to eat, wondering and hoping.

'weak little freak' may flow better.

Hotaru looked at them for a moment. Yoshi and his mob of idiots were read=

ing

a cheap tabloid with the words "The Nerima Review" splayed across the fro=

nt.

They seemed excited talking about a fight between someone named Ranma and
another boy named "P-Chan". What the hell type of name is P-Chan? Shaking
her head to realign her thought train, she wondered about what she just
heard. She wasn't sure if it was her Ranma they were talking about, so sh=

e

eagerly she edged her seat over, waiting for them to mention a family nam=

e.

Ranma may call Ryoga P-chan while they are fighting, but I wouldn't expect
that to be the name given for Ryoga in the Review.

Saotome Ranma. Age 18. Good, only 2 years older Not too far from her own.
His style was called Anything Goes? That sounds silly! Ah {Contact : cont=

act}

information! Exactly what she was looking for!

Hotaru then stopped herself for a moment. So were magic girls, and that {=

didn

't : didn't} stop her from fighting every god damn monster, demon, and cr=

eepy-crawly

in the Tokyo area.

Hotaru sighed, she had a feeling where this was going. "Nothing {mama : M=

ama}, I'm

fine."

 Good Cop, Bad {cop: Cop}. Right on the money. If the age difference betw=

een them

wasn't less then five years Hotaru would swear that they were getting
predictable. Must be another one of those parent things. Oh joy..

Hotaru knew that they would not be satisfied until she told them the trut=

h.

She also knew that she was a horrific liar. She was momentarily reminded =

of

a friendly poker game she had with the {inners : Inners}. Who knew that i=

nnocent

seeming Ami-chan was such a card shark.

Haruka paused for a moment then nodded her head. "{Your : You're} right, =

Michiru."

Hotaru smiled brightly. They trusted her. "Mama, {papa : Papa}. I'll tell=

 you soon.

Okay?"

Hotaru could not help but roll her eyes when she entered the room. Setsun=

a

was sitting in her favorite chair with a can of soda and bowl of popcorn
watching, of all things, imported tapes of American professional wrestlin=

g.

Hotaru could never understand how a grown woman, who by all {respects : r=

eports}

predated recorded human civilization, could watch that mindless macho cra=

p.

So much for high culture.

She's done high culture, this is entertainment.

Hotaru lifted the phonebook and began to dig through it. After a few mome=

nts

she found the entry for the Tendo Dojo. Address and phone number, just wh=

at

she needed. Hotaru quickly ripped out the page and headed {up toward : to=

wards} the

stairs.

Without another word Hotaru ran up stairs. She would have to get an early
start the next day. She would ask {Haruka mama : Haruka-papa} to give her=

 a ride to the bus

stop, and from there she would go onto Nerima, and whatever fate awaited
her. Oh, and she also needed some damn sandals.

From the top of the {Canal's : canal's} protective fence, Saotome Ranma r=

elaxed in the

noonday sun. It was Saturday and classes were over for the week. Except f=

or

one unfortunate "upset" a month and a half ago, life had been going
relatively well for him these last few months. He was still trapped in th=

is

accused cycle of madness, but at least it was not getting much worse. Aka=

ne

had not been kidnapped for almost 3 months now, and the number of out of =

the

blue challengers and new fianc=E9es was at an all time low.

This scared the daylights out of him. Ranma knew that if there was one
absolute in life for him, it was chaos. Peace and {quite : quiet} were no=

t in the

description. Things had just been too peaceful, and considering how good
life was looking, when it blew it was going to go off big. Probably big
enough to see from space.

With a {sight : sigh} he turned and continued his daily run. A light twen=

ty-five

kilometer fence-run across Nerima. A perfect light jog, and a good chance
for {who ever : whoever} was out for his blood that day to get it out of =

their systems

before they drag it home to the dojo.

Ranma quickly twisted around and began to back up. Akane was in her gi. S=

he

had apparently just finished training in the {Dojo : dojo} when she had {=

over heard : overheard}

them. "Err... Akane, It's not what it looks like!"

Hotaru's heart stopped, as the delicate illusion she was using to shield
herself {: was} shattered by a bolt of cruel reality. Fianc=E9e. He had a=

 fianc=E9e. No!

She couldn't tell him! To do so would oppose everything the Senshi stood
for, everything that she stood for. She just couldn't ruin another person=

's

happiness for her own benefit.

Ranma, contrary to popular opinion was not the unobservant fool he was ma=

de

out to be. While he did not have the social graces or tact to keep his fo=

ot

out of his mouth, he was no idiot. If anything he could detect people's
intentions and emotions better {them : than} most people.

Ranma could tell that Hotaru had something important to tell him. Part of
him dreaded that news. Strange women with {who : whom} he had some form o=

f past never

brought good things. Another part of his was curious. Even though he had
only met her {one : once : one time}, he knew that Hotaru was not the kin=

d of girl to come

unannounced without a good reason, especially after his warning. Finally
there was the main reason why he had to talk to her. He made her cry, and=

 If

he had one weakness, it was he could not stand making girls cry.

Ranma {heave a sigh : sighed : heaved a sigh}. He would have to find her,=

 but first he needed to keep

Akane from killing him. "Akane, she had something important to tell me. I
have to see what it was."

What would she tell Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama?  What would they say?
Would they be angry? Would they {every : ever} trust her again?

"Well, it seems that my old man thought one of the easiest {was : ways} t=

o get stuff

was to engage me to random girls then steal me back when he had what he
wanted! And that ain't the worst neither."

Hotaru was shocked. She could remember him recommending that she avoid {h=

im

avoid : him.  Avoid} him and everyone associated with him, unless it was =

completely

necessary because of the so called craziness in his life, but this was
insane!

She decided to ask him about this again later and took his hand, acceptin=

g

his assistance to her feet but said nothing. {With out : Without} a word =

she began to

walk to toward the bus stop. Ranma followed by her side without
interrupting. Hotaru could tell that he thought that she was thinking. Sh=

e

was thankful for the time, and silence.

What would she do now? Apparently fianc=E9e business might not be as bad =

as

she thought. If his life was {a : as} messed up as he claimed then she co=

uldn't

make it any worse. Or could she? This was it, the chance she wanted, but
first she needed some confidence.

"Yes. I think so."
With a stutter in her nervous voice she said, "Ranma, do you remember tha=

t

night? The one we met?"
Ranma nodded, unable to do anything but watch this traffic accident unfol=

d.

You've lost the extra lines between these paragraphs.

--=20
Mac :})
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.



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