Disclaimer : They're not mine , don't sue - I'm poor.



This begins as cannon sailor moon fight with beryl , but it ends
differently
... way much.



Prologue

<Hey, this is Mike here.  Nice to see that you've improved on your
writing.
Much more easier to read.  I congradulate you.>

<Oh yeah, its canon, not cannon.  Original storylines don't blow up with 
gunpowder.>

Usagi felt the energy of the other senshi gather in her and the silver
crystal. She sent that energy into beryl/metallia and banished the evil
demoness. She saw the future then. Everything that would happen for the
next
few years. She made a heartfelt wish.

< "She sent" - maybe it should be: "She realeased that gathered energy"
   capitalize on beryl/metallia:  Beryl, or Metallia.

<The paragraph seems a bit too short.  Here's what I may
   Suggest:

   After Sailor Moon had witnessed her past battle with Beryl, she was
then
   thrusted into a vision that seemed to show a glimpse into the future; 
   possibly her own.  The vision showed events and changes, anything that
   will occur in the coming decade.  When the time felt right, Usagi made
a
   deep, heartfelt wish.  >


"I wish ... I wish .... I wish ... I wish .... I wish we ... could ...
fight! That we were stronger and had the skills to do better than what we
will! That we could make things turn out right!"

The crystal flared one final time and then the timeline was reset ,
events
were changed around , and their memories altered.

<Upon confirming Sailor Moon's desire, the crystal flared in response as
  if it was affirmed in its given objective.  In its power, it reset the
timeline,
  the events that had happened in the past were now changed, and the
  memories of Usagi and her fellow soldiers were altered.>

***

Usagi woke up gasping from the strange dream she had.

(That was a strange dream.) , she thought. (Fighting some type of
demoness.
Weird.)

<Don't use parenthesis in here.  Although it is in thought, its
preferable that
  you use quotes:

"That was a strange dream," she thought.  "Fighting some type of
demoness.
Weird.">

"Usagi dinner's ready!" , she heard her mother calling to her.

(Dinner?!) , she thought her stomach rumbling slightly.

<Again, parenthesis = " "> 

"Hey meatball head , wake up!" , her brother called through the door to
her.
"You better hurry! Or pops'll eat your share!"

"Don't call me meatball head you jerk!" , she yelled back at her brother.

<Hmmm.... intriguing.... ^_^>

She quickly got dressed and down to the table with her mother , father ,
and
brother. She saw her father trying to sneak some food off her plate and
after a brief fight threw him through the room , out the door , and into
the
koi pond now.

<The accused "meatball headed" girl quickly dressed and arrived in the
  the dining room where her mother , father , and brother now occupy. 
She 
  saw her father daring to smuggle some food off her plate.   After a
brief 
  fight, Usagi threw him through the room, out the door, and into the koi

  pond that resided in the family yard.>

"Ha! Thought you could get my food could you! Well you're not fast
enough!
No one gets any stolen offa plate food from Usagi Saotome! That'll teach
you
baka oyagi , ha , ha!" , laughed Usagi.

<"Ha! Thought you could get my food could you!  Well you're not fast
enough!
No one can steal food from the great Usagi Saotome! That'll teach you to
keep yer grubby hands from MY plate baka-Oyagi!," Usagi arrogantly 
laughed.>

Out in the koi pond a panda surfaced and said , "Growf! Garll! Grarl!".

<Baka-Oyagi, or now baka-panda, surfaced and muttered , "Growf! Garll!
Grarl!".>

Then she noticed her brother trying the same thing. He though he could
away
with that!?

<Suddenly, she noticed her brother was trying the same thing.  Hmph, he 
  thought he could succeed where everyone had failed before?

He had another think coming.

<Brother had another think coming.>

"RANMA!" , she yelled while defending her plate.

<"RANMA!" , Usagi yelled while defending her plate.>

Overall, so far so good.  Interesting.  I hope this is ALOT different
that the Ranma/
Sailormoon crossovers I've read.

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