This is the last installment of Pokeball Run. Thank you all for your generous
comments. Any comments on the series as a whole would be appreciated more
than ever since this is the last part. Thanks for reading!
Pokeball Run: The Great Race
Part 6 - It's Finally Over!
By C-Dogg
Inspired by Cannonball Run
Disclaimer: All unoriginal material is TM and(C) all respective owners.
Please don't sue me. I have no money. Besides, my lawyer can beat up your
lawyer.
Foul language, tasteless humor and sex jokes lie ahead. This one may not be
for the kiddies.
"/" denotes pokemon speak i.e. "/Duplica?"
----------
Day 5...
7:58 A.M.
The author and Professor Oak stood in the lobby awaiting stood in the lobby
awaiting the first racers. Metro checked his watch every few seconds,
wondering where Surge and his partners were.
"So, did you enjoy the show last night?" Metro asked.
"I think that you of all people know very well that I didn't stay for the
show," the older man smirked. The two of them shared a short laugh.
"So, who do you have to win?" the Professor asked.
"I've got a few things in mind. Nothing's set in stone though."
"Can you give me a hint? I'm trying to get a bet in before the bookies close."
"Okay." The boy and the man leaned in close together. "It will most likely be
who you least expect."
The three gym leaders walked in. Koga stood straight and tall, taking long
strides. Surge and Blaine dragged their feet and moved slowly.
"Would you be motivated to move faster if I told you that you're going all
the way to the end today?" Metro asked them. The two hangover cases grunted
in response.
A new official with short, dark purple hair walked from behind the desk. She
held a set of keys and the signature green flag.
"Excuse me Professor Oak. I have to delegate this." He nodded and the author
led the pack outside.
*****
8:10 A.M.
MMMMMMM*click*
"Thank God we found that double sided one."
"I couldn't agree more."
"Mmm. What time is it?"
"Who cares? Let's just get some sleep."
Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy pulled up the covers and started to doze off.
The door swung open and Ms. Ketchum stepped through, pulling her hair back
into her ponytail. "Ladies we leave in fifteen minutes! C'mon! Get up!"
"Aw fuck!"
*****
8:23 A.M.
Jessie walked in with a bruised and tired James right behind her.
"You should've gone easy on the poor boy." Metro told her.
"He didn't mind, right James?" He whimpered and passed out on the floor.
Jessie ignored him. "Where's Meowth?"
"Oh! Right!" The boy snapped his fingers. The feline pokemon fell from hole
in the ceiling and landed on top of James.
"Get up you two! We've got a race to win!"
"Kill. Author."
*****
8:42 A.M.
Ms. Ketchum and her two sloppily dressed friends rushed into the lobby,
grabbed their keys from the official, and left just as quickly.
"Wow. They're pretty late," noted the author. "Must've had a Hell of a night."
"Well, I can vouch for one..." the old man said with a smile.
*****
"If we hurry, we can still catch Team Rocket." Ms. Ketchum told her partners.
"Don't worry." Jenny pulled out a walkie-talkie. "They won't get out of
Celadon for a while."
*****
8:55 A.M.
"The car in front of us is slowing down a lot," Jessie noted aloud.
"Just go around 'em," advised Meowth.
"I can't. There's another car alongside of us."
James looked behind them. "Another car just pulled up right behind us."
Meowth's eyes widened. "Oh no! It's a trap! Dat's da..."
Lights flashed. Sirens sounded. "...police! Pull over now!"
"Shit!"
The Corvette sped past them. From the back seat, Jenny pulled down an eyelid
with her middle finger and stuck out her tongue at the ill-fated trio.
*****
9:03 A.M.
"What do you mean we can't leave without him?!"
"Pika!"
"He's out cold! We can't wake him up!"
Metro shrugged. "Then carry him here."
"The hotel's five blocks away!" Ash shouted.
"The longer you stay here complaining, the longer it will take you to get
started," the professor informed the boys.
"Grandpa!"
"You start in fifteen seconds," said the author, looking at his watch. Ash
and Gary turned and left cursing under their breath.
*****
Misty's eyes opened slowly. She had little memory of the previous night after
she hit the author with her mallet, but a dream lay fresh in her mind that
she would never forget, much to her chagrin.
"This pillow's a bit hard," She thought to herself before closing her eyes
again. She reached under her head to adjust it but felt only soft flesh.
"Mmm. Again Misty?" a sleepy voice slurred.
The redhead's eyes shot open and she leapt to her feet, gaping at her bedmate
who was dressed only in panties. Misty looked down and saw that she was
dressed similarly. She blushed profusely and crossed her arms, mouth still
wide open. "Oh... my... God...! It wasn't a dream!"
Duplica sat up and looked at her partner. "Is something wrong?"
"Gah-buh-nuh-No. I was just surprised by how pretty you look." Misty slapped
a hand over her mouth. "What the Hell did I just say?"
The blue-haired girl purred as she rose to her feet, pulling on her red
shirt. "You're so sweet. You know, last night was great." She wrapped her
arms around Misty's waist whose own arms fell to her sides, her body unable
to move. "Maybe we can do it again after the race." Duplica planted a long
kiss on the girl's mouth.
Misty was too angry to enjoy this one.
"Must... kill... author."
*****
9:30 A.M.
"One. Two. Three. Up!'
Ash and Gary tossed their still snoozing partner into the flatbed of their El
Camino.
"Now can we go?" Ash asked. The author nodded. Gary started the car and the
boys sped off as Professor Oak waved.
"Should I bet on them?"
Metro smiled. "Well, Ash _is_ the star of the show."
"Is that a yes?"
"It's a maybe."
*****
Surge sat up in the back of the Hummer, headache having left him completely.
"Koga, see that long line up ahead?"
"Yes?"
"That's 'Jink's.' They make the best hot dogs in Vermillion City."
Blaine groaned. "You can't be serious. We're in the middle of a race."
The line is rather long," added Koga.
"We're twenty minutes ahead. C'mon! It'll be really quick."
Koga looked to Blaine. The bald gym leader sighed. "Fine"
*****
9:39 A.M.
Giselle started the engine of the small Volkswagen. Misty and Duplica sat
cuddled in the back seat, a smile on Duplica's face, a grimace on Misty's.
The author poked his head through the passenger side window. "Comfy back
there?"
Misty whispered to him, "As soon as this is over, I'm going to figure
something out and I'm going to make you pay for this. Metro only smiled in
response as he leaned back.
The countdown, the flag, and the girl's were finally off.
*****
9:51 A.M.
"Are you happy now? We just blew our lead for a damn hotdog!" said Blaine.
"A damn _good_ hot dog!" Surge corrected.
Koga froze in alarm. "Oh no!"
The Corvette rolled past them. Nurse Joy blew a kiss.
*****
"We're in the lead now!" exclaimed Ms. Ketchum.
"We've got the fastest car too! We can't lose now!" shouted the blue-haired
officer.
*****
10:01 A.M.
"Let's see," started an officer dressed in plain clothes, "You're driving a
stolen car, you're on Celadon's most wanted list, and there's ten pounds of
cocaine in your trunk. But that's way too much paper work to fill out. Let us
take the coke off of your hands and get out of town fast and we won't bring
you in. Deal?"
The Team Rocket trio stared in disbelief. "Uh, sure. Thanks."
*****
"Argh! Because of that stupid bitch, we're in last place!" Jessie screamed.
She stamped down hard on the gas pedal.
"This day can't get any worse," Meowth remarked.
"Don't worry. If we go through the desert, it will take at least an hour off
our time," James said in a hopeful tone.
*****
11:53 A.M.
The Corvette slowed and pulled into a gas station in Lavender Town.
"Get some snacks and go to the bathroom now ladies. It's a long way to
Fuchsia City from here," Ms. Ketchum announced.
*****
I do not think we can win now," Koga told his teammates. "Their car is much
faster than ours."
Surge returned, "That's why we're going through the desert."
"Is it safe?"
"Of course. This thing was made for tough terrain."
"How do we know the Corvette isn't going through the desert as well?"
inquired Blaine.
The lieutenant spat, "Bah. In that prissy little thing? Even if they did risk
it, they couldn't make it."
*****
"When we get to Lavender Town, stop at the Pokemon Tower," said Ash.
"Why?"
"I have to ask a favor from a friend."
*****
"Well," said Giselle. I can see one good thing in this entire race. We're not
going to lose to Team Rocket."
*****
12:32 P.M.
"Can you do that for us?"
"/Of course!"
"Great! Thanks a lot!"
"/No problem."
Ash and Gary exited the Tower. What they saw surprised them.
"He's... awake!" exclaimed the young Oak.
"Get in!" Brock shouted from the driver seat of the El Camino, revving the
engine. "We cannot and will not lose this race!"
The other two boys were hesitant. "Uh, Brock..."
"I saw it in a dream last night! We are going to be victorious! The blonde
goddess will be mine!"
"Great. He's talking like Koga," Ash sighed.
"Get in!" Brock put the car in gear. Ash and Gary piled in. Brock dropped his
foot and the car peeled away.
*****
"How car is it to Fuchsia City?" Misty asked the gas station attendant.
"Dunno the exact distance. Most cars do it in about four hours. Three and a
half if you're lucky."
"Shit!" the girl looked outside. Duplica waved as she filled up the car.
Misty smiled and waved back. "Four more hours..."
*****
1:00 P.M.
The Hummer raced through the desert, bounding over hills, kicking up a large
wake of dust.
"You were right, Surge. We are making really good time," Koga told him.
Surge laughed. "And you guys doubted me! This race is ours!"
*****
"I think the Hummer may be taking the short cut through the desert," said
Nurse Joy.
"Well then," said Ms. Ketchum. "We'll just have to speed up, won't we?" The
woman stepped down on the gas, swerving and threading through the slower
highway traffic.
*****
Meowth leaped into the front seat of the Cadillac. "Look!" In the sand were
two sets of tire tracks. "The smaller ones look fresh!"
"We're still in it!" James shouted with excitement.
Purple spikes slowly rose through the hood of the car.
"What the Hell is that?" Jessie asked.
The spikes continued to rise, eventually showing the body of a haunter.
James stared forward in wonder. "What's that broken wire in his hands?"
"That's... that's our brake line!" the feline pokemon yelled.
The haunter laughed and faded away. All three occupants screamed.
"Noooooooooo!"
*****
1:30 P.M.
The orange car bounded over a sand dune. It's impassioned driver repeated
only one word over and over again: "Win. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win."
Suddenly the car jerked violently forward and the engine started to sputter.
"Oh no!" Ash exclaimed. "Don't tell me..."
"...we're out of gas," Gary finished, crossing his arms.
The car continued rolling for a few dozen yards eventually rolling to a stop.
Brock dropped his head on the steering wheel and began to cry.
Ash looked in the flatbed. "Where's our gas can?"
"Must've fallen out somewhere in the desert," answered Gary.
"Why didn't we stop for gas?"
"Lover boy here wouldn't listen. Besides. We were kind of dependant on that
can."
Brock continued to bawl. A short few minutes passed. Then Ash asked, "So,
what do we do now.
"I guess we just wait for the author," the other boy answered.
And the sobs continued.
*****
1:55 P.M.
"I can't fucking believe this!" Jessie spat. "It's like we're destined to
fail at everything."
Meowth stared at the smoking overturned wreck. "I really think we are."
*riiiiiiiing*
All eyes turned to James.
*riiiiiiiing*
"Excuse me." The blue-haired boy reached into his pocket. "Hello? Oh, hi
boss. Listen, we...you do? ...You have? ...Uh huh...Really? That's gr--...
yes sir... thank you sir... bye."
"What did he want?" Meowth asked.
"Apparently, he's been watching the entire race. He also said that he won't
let us go out like this, so he's sending a vehicle here."
"Wow, that's great!" Jessie exclaimed. "When will it be here!"
"About an hour."
"Da race'll probably be over by den!" shouted the pokemon.
"He said it's extremely fast, so that should make up for it."
"What are we supposed to do for an hour?" the redhead inquired.
"We wait."
*****
2:50 P.M.
"Joy! Jenny! Wake up! We're finally here!"
The lovers in the back seat slowly opened their eyes as the car rolled past a
"Welcome to Fuchsia City" sign.
"Where's the Pokemon Center here?"
"It's on Main Street," Joy answered drowsily.
The Corvette roared forward.
*****
"This is it," Koga announced. The Hummer rolled into the city at high speed.
"We have to get to Main Street."
"How close are we to it?" asked Blaine.
"Very close. I just have to make a right at the light."
*****
"There it is Jenny pointed as the blue car turned a corner. Several blocks
ahead of them hanged a black and white checkered banner, flaming poke ball
logo juxtaposed to the red letters "Finish Line". The car rolled up to a red
light.
"We're gonna win!" Ms. Ketchum shrieked.
*****
The Hummer raced forward, its occupants on the edges of their seats. Koga
stared sternly ahead while Blaine and Surge smiled, imaging how great their
prizes would be.
Suddenly, a soccer ball rolled into the street. A small child chased after it.
"Koga! Look out!" Blaine yelled. Koga yanked the wheel to the left then
pulled it back hard to the right after passing the child. The vehicle lost
control and leaned over on its two left wheels.
"Oh fuck!"
The car rolled end over end once before flying into the air, flipping towards
the intersection.
*****
"Hey, isn't that Surge, Blaine, and Koga's Hummer?"
"That purple on the just flipped?"
"Yeah."
"...That's in the air now?"
"Yeah!"
"...That's about to land right on top of us!"
"Ye-- Oh fuck!"
The large vehicle fell hard and flattened the much smaller Corvette like an
aluminum can.
*****
Metro stared down the street, watching the scene unfold with the now
horrified race official.
"I'd bet anything that none of you saw that coming," he said.
*****
2:56 P.M.
The black Beetle continued down the Highway to Fuchsia City. Giselle sat at
the wheel while the two lovebirds slept in each other's arms in the back. The
author faded into view in the passenger seat.
"That's a Kodak moment if I ever saw one."
The sound of another voice awakened Misty. She saw the boy sitting there.
"You!"
"Hello."
Misty tried to wiggle out of Duplica's embrace, waking her in the process.
"Are we there yet?" she slurred.
"No. Still another hour left," Metro informed her.
"Did you have a reason for being here?" asked Giselle.
"Yeah. I just wanted to let you know that every other car is wrecked. If you
hurry, you might finish first."
"Really!?"
"All right!"
"Finally we catch a break.!"
The author smiled. "I knew you'd be happy." He faded away."
"I don't care if we win or lose. I already got my wish," said Duplica. The
two girls in the back kissed.
"I hope I can wish my way out of this," thought Misty.
*****
3:01 P.M.
Meowth looked up at the sky, shielding his eyes against the sun. The sound of
spinning blades cutting through the air drew ever closer. Finally, the feline
spotted the craft.
"Guys, it's here!"
The helicopter stopped and covered the Team Rocket members in a large shadow.
The large crate it had in tow hanged from a steel cable. The pilot tossed
down a crowbar then cut the cable. The crate fell into the sand, kicking up a
dust cloud. Job now complete, the chopper flew away.
The dust settled. Meowth grabbed the iron bar and went to work on the crate.
"I bet it's a Mustang!"
"Or a Prowler!"
"Or a Viper!"
The crate had been dismantled. They now gazed in awe at their new vehicle, a
shiny red missile with three sets of handle and helmets hanging on them, all
atop a set of four wheels.
"Now _that's_ a 'team rocket!'" Meowth said.
The three of them hopped on, Jessie in the front, Meowth in the back.
"I forgot to mention something the boss said," James announced as he fastened
his shiny black helmet.
"What?" Jessie flipped a few switches. The rocket screamed to life, growing
louder.
"He said 'don't fuck up!'" White fire exploded from the rear. The rocket
exploded forward, whipping their hair, pulling back their lips and exposing
their gums.
"Shiiiiiiit!"
*****
3:32 P.M.
The three boys sat around their halted El Camino. Brock's torrent of tears
slowed to a trickle. Ash pointed at the huge dust cloud that rapidly
approached them. "What's that?"
The rocket flew by, flipping the car over, covering it and them in sand.
*****
4:05 P.M.
The Beetle turned onto Main Street. All signs of the earlier crash had been
cleaned up. The street was clear and the finish was in plain view several
blocks away.
"I can't believe it! We're actually going to win! Duplica squealed.
All lights turned green. The tires screeched and smoked. The car shot forward
like a bullet on its path to glory. Giselle looked in the rear view mirror.
"What's that?"
Misty turned around to check and almost screamed. "There's a missile coming
at us!"
*****
"The finish line is right ahead!" James shouted.
"So are dose girls!" added Meowth.
"Not a problem!" Jessie hit another switch. The white-hot fire grew larger,
giving the rocket a burst of speed.
*****
Giselle pulled the vehicle onto the sidewalk, hoping the projectile did not
have a lock on them. It flew past and flipped the Beetle over, continued on
its path and crossed the finish line. The official waved a checkered flag.
Jessie pulled the rocket into a hard U-turn and cut the engine. The three
team members jumped off their vehicle and into each other's arms, dancing and
celebrating their victory.
The stranded boys, the gym leaders, and the ladies faded into view. The girls
crawled out of the flipped Volkswagen and looked down the street in horror as
Metro made the announcement.
The winner of the Pokeball Run is Team Rocket!"
Giselle screamed. "Oh God dammit!"
*****
"This is unfair!"
"It's bullshit!"
"How could you let them win!"
"They crossed the finish line first," Metro told the protestors. "Besides,
everyone else was disqualified anyway!"
"What?!" shouted the twelve whining racers in unison.
"Where should I start? Duplica had her ditto slip a crushed sleeping pill
into Brock's drink. Ash had a haunter chew through Team Rocket's brake line.
Koga wrecked another team's vehicle. And the ladies in the Corvette, besides
the fact that the crash killed you, thus taking you out of the competition,
Ms. Ketchum stole her son's team's gas can. That was just mean."
The accused members blushed and stuttered for excuses.
"Oh the Hell with this!" Jenny pulled out her service revolver. "I'm placing
all three of you under arrest!"
Team Rocket stuck out their tongues.
"Da author won't let you touch us!" Meowth chided.
"So put the little cap gun away bitch," Jessie continued. "You probably don't
even know how to use it."
Jenny fired three shots. Team Rocket stood unscathed.
"Hah! You missed!" laughed James, leaning against his vehicle.
"No, I didn't."
There was a hot, orange explosion. Three gray trails of smoke led off into
the sky from the black crater that was the rocket. A familiar call was heard:
"Team Rocket's blasting of again!"
*ping*
"You're such a sore loser," Metro told the officer. She fired three more
bullets at his chest. They bounced off and fell to the ground.
"I hate you so much," she said.
"Did Team Rocket get their wish?" Duplica asked innocently.
"Yeah, they shouted it from the sky. They wanted it not to hurt anymore when
they hit the ground." Metro smiled.
"So what about us?" inquired Blaine.
"Well, I'm a good guy, so I'll be nice. I'll send you all back to where you
were the day that I brought you into my story. It's been fun guys. See you
later," he said ominously with a quick two-fingered salute, fading away with
the race official.
* * * * *
Day One...
The protagonists of our tale headed through the forest on their never-ending
journey. Ash looked forward happily with his pikachu atop his cap. Brock
managed to force a smile despite being in a state of deeper depression than
ever before. Misty was thankful that her ordeal was finally over.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
"Things are finally back to normal," the young girl remarked.
"Hi Misty!" Duplica shouted, emerging from the trees and latching onto the
redhead.
"Oh shit!" Misty looked up to the sky and swore she saw the smiling face of
the author in the clouds.
THE END
----------
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