| Ranma groaned as he awoke. He hated getting up in the morning. Through a
| clouded mind, he looked down at Hotaru, and froze.
|
| He was in bed with a girl! Akane was going to... He blinked as the
| sleepiness cleared from his mind and he recalled the events of the
previous
| day.
|
| He smiled and though of how they were intertwined. Her head was buried
into
| his chest, and her body was pressed against his, while his arms were
around
| her and his led was thrown over her hips. It was kinda appealing, too bad
he

and his leg

| He closed his eyes and laid as he was. He did not know for how long it
was.

   These two sentences don't quite flow right. Mabye becaue of the
inadvertent rhyme at the end ofthe two. Not sure how to reword it at
the moment. Everything I can think of doesn't quite work at the moment.

| He knew there was something special about her. She was so kind, so caring,
| so gentle, so... non-violent. He could feel something in his heart when he

   Hehe, I'm sure the non-violent would make up for a lot.

| her. Laying like that with her was nice, but he had things he need to get
| done. Besides, his muscles were starting to get very stiff.

   I imagine they would. :)

| He slowly stretched to banish the inflexibility from his body. He noted to
| himself that when they get married, to make sure a bigger bed is part of
the
| package. That bed is far small for two people, at least in the long run.

   far too small

| He quietly dressed and left the room. He put on a simple pair of slacks
and
| a Chinese shirt, the Saotome Ranma classic.

 cute description.

| After a few silent early morning stretches he opened Hotaru's bedroom
door,

   You already mentioned the stretches a little bit ago.

| didn't want to be out of the street again. After having a place to call
home
| for two years, he'd developed a hatred for being homeless.

   Understandable, and a nice way to address those that think Ranma
shouldn't have such a hard time camping out. :)

| "Err... my eyes are up here, Haruka-san," grumbled Ranma.

LOL!

| At the mention of martial arts Haruka's eye perked up. "You're a martial
| artist?"

   Eye's don't perk up. (The term was taken from how dogs
ears act.) Eyes light up. :)

| Her style was a creative mixture of Kempo, Shotokan, some elements of Tai
| Kuan Do in the kicks, and some stylistic fragments of Wu Shu, probably
| picked up from watching one too many Kung Fu Action Movie.

   Heh, you don't learn a lot of practical bits from those movies true,
but in some of them there are some real aplicable moves. :) Of
course you have to know something before you can pick them
out.

| Ranma slipped back onto the offensive and considered this. Haruka could be

   When did Ranma go on the defensive? Perhaps you could say that
he stayed on the offensive.

| useful. While her relationship with Hotaru was strange to say the least,
if
| she really did care for Hotaru, she might be able to assist in fighting of

fighting off

| Ranma's eyes narrowed as Haruka once again committed to the offensive. The

You're using the word offensive a lot, how about using attack some-
where instead?

| something to make the woman sour about. While he had learned that you
should
| never belittle the skills of a semi-competent opponent, as it will enrage
| them, you still should shame them. Something to make them want to improve,

   I'm not sure shame is the best word to use, unfortunately I don't
have a thesaurus handy so I can't really suggest one to replace
it.

| Ranma smiled evilly. "Get a lot of 'em. This'll take a while."

   Ya think? :)

| "Ranko-chan? What the hell? Was this just an excuse for you to roast
| chestnuts? If so, you owe me 5,000 yen."

   That's a lot of chestnuts.

| Fire Fist"? What king of stupid name was that? "What kind of technique is
| it?" She Asked.

   she asked.

| Haruka features softened as some of her anger drained. He was willing to
so

   willing to do

| "Thank you for being honest with me."

   Ouch!

| Ranko slightly winced and looked down. "Well, the Chestnuts are done" she
| said, as she popped on into her mouth. She then handed a still warm nut to

popped one

| Hotaru turned over to embrace him. He was not present. "Ranma?"
|
| Her eyes quickly darted around the room. He was not in the room. His packs
| were still present, that was good, putting to rest any nagging fears that
he
| may have abandoned her.

   I was wondering how you here going to handle that.

| She was slightly annoyed, why couldn't he have waited for her to wake up?
Oh
| well, he must have had something to do. With a yawn Hotaru stood up and
| stretched.
|
| She stood in place for a moment getting the kinks out of her back, then
| exited her room. She would get dressed later, because she was hungry right

   I think the sentence would work fine without the because.

| Ignoring Hotaru, Haruka continued on her rant. "You should have seen her
| move! Wait, you couldn't have seen her move! She was just a blur! She
pulled
| those chestnuts from that fire with ease! Imagine how fast would be if I
| could pull off this technique normally!"

   Heh!

| "I'm not stopping until I learn this technique!" Haruka then turned to the
| kitchen door and yelled, "Do you hear me 'Red' I'm going to master the
| Amaguriken!"

   Heh, she's taking after Ranma here. :) I'm not saying it doesn't
fit by the way. I'm wondering of Ranma will come up with something
to help Haruka train like when he worked at the Nekohanten.

| respect for him? She doubted it was that silly, pulling chestnuts out of a
| fire idea. That was not humanly possible, of course neither was jumping
tall

   I wonder if she'll get a demonstration.

| buildings in a single bound and punching out mailboxes she noted in the
back
| of her mind.

   Uh, punching out mailboxes doesn't seem that extreme when
compared to what you stated before. However, the sentence
does show that Hotaru is learning to suspend disbelief where
Ranma is concerned.

| Of course, that was not the big shocker to Hotaru. This was: Ranma could
| cook?

   Hehe.

| A bright flush made itself visible on Hotaru's cheek. He was talking about
| the ring! In a soft, wispy voice, she said, "Sure thing, Ranma..."
|
| Ranma gulped. His cover was blown! Maybe the missed it.

   Maybe they

| Hotaru sighed in relief as Haruka ad Michiru's dialogue drifted to
| conversations focused on their personal lives instead of hers. Maybe
things
| would calm down.

   Not a chance. When it comes out, I don't know what is going
to happen, but it's not going to be pretty.

| Setsuna slowly wobbled her way down the steps. God he head hurt. It was as

God her

| if a pair of bull African elephants were dancing a tango in her head.

   African bull

Works better IMO. Cute description by the way.

| On the same note, she loved Hotaru very dearly and wanted her to be happy.
| It was a hard choice, duty or love. She could turn to Princess Serenity
for
| guidance on this matter, but she already knew the answer: Love.

   SHE LEARNS!

| She also noted, that despite her anxiety, not having to play the master
| manipulator was a weight off her soul.

   Interesting way of looking at it.

| She winced, as she smelled breakfast. While usually she would be happy to
| partake of the wonderful odor of well cooked meal, all it did now was

odor of a

| Straightening her disheveled clothing, she walked into the kitchen. She
was
| not pleasantly surprised by what she saw. The butterfly was in her house.

   Uh oh!

| Her eyes narrowed as the pain in her head increased ten fold. She sat
down,
| smiled insincerely, and in an acidic voice she said, "Good morning,
| Saotome," while looking Ranma directly in the eyes.

  Uh oh x2!


   Thank you for a very enjoyable read!

P.S. I generally prefer to sence my C&C directly to the author. However
I've notice in myself that if I read C&C on the ML I'm more likely to read
the story. Hence the cc to the ML.
--
Druid
druid@bigplanet.com

Where there is love, there is life.

"You don't need a reason to help people."
   Zidane, Final Fantasy IX




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