Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Mon, 3 Jun 2002 04:15:54 -0400 (EDT) Frederick Herriot
<fherriot@yahoo.com> wrote:
I'm glad the wedding scene was a dream. It's far too early in the story
for it to be real. On the gripping hand, it does help set the emotinal
context for Ranma.
Chikage stares at her crystal ball.
"No, Ane-kun. Soon, it will NOT be weird at all..."
I'm not sure I like Chikage being so all-knowing. It should make
surprising Ataru nearly impossible which could ruin some parts of the
story.
"Well, according to Ukyou Kuonji, Ranma-kun no longer wishes
to have anything to do with our family {anymore :}," Nabiki reports,
then takes a deep breath. "And according to Onee-chan, Ranma-kun
has finally reached his limit when it comes to tolerating Akane
hitting him all the time. This morning, Akane learned that the hard
way. She's now in hospital."
After "no longer", "anymore" is redundant.
"Hai," Chigaiko Inu nods, sitting across from Ataru in the
living room. Save for Shirayuki, the sisters were busy doing some
shopping at a nearby mall. The would-be chef is hard at work in the
kitchen preparing for an early supper, so that everyone could make
it back to Welcome House before sunset. Ranma was with Toshiko
and Kumiko at Tampopo's, {she :: she was} introducing the mirror-twins to her new
friend. Toshiko and Kumiko would be coming with the others to
Promised Island. Negako was somewhere in Nerima, but Ataru had no
idea where. Due to the ninjitsu grandmistress' acute hydrophobia,
she would remain in Nerima. "Let's just say after what happened
yesterday, I don't feel really safe in Tomobiki anymore."