In a message dated 6/4/2002 12:08:33 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
kthardin@tenchifanart.com writes:
Damn, no sooner to I get around to this one, than I see 21 out of 18 as
well...
If I can keep the reviewers that backed up, then I guess I'm not _that_
slow of a writer. ^_^
> "Twen'y out a' eighteen?! S'pose it could work..."
Actually, going by the theory of parallel universes, not only could it
work,
but somewhere it HAS to have worked.
One can only hope that it works in this case. ^_^
> Chapter 10, part 2. The reason for this is obvious: I have no clue what
> I'm doing.
Don't worry. You're faking it really good. ^_^
I'm good at faking some things, actually.
> Actually, we're all mad here.
Tea, my good man?
"No, I'm sorry. There's no room."
"But there are plenty of chairs!"
"Well, chairs, of course, but no room!"
Disney did an okayish adaptation of Alice in Wonderland that one time, and
so did another group, but most of 'em lack the comic mania necessary for
a proper representation.
...
Then again, maybe that'd be too much to unleash upon the world. ^_^
> And check out the new Sailor Stylin' image. It's very well-done!
I must be blind, cause I can't find that image.
Hope Larry cleared that one up for ya...
> "The search-and-destroy mission went flawlessly. It just
> turned out that _we_ weren't the hunters," Zoicite whispered weakly
The irony was a killer.
*Dah-dum-thwish!* ^_^
> Kunzite nodded reassuringly. "Of course. You'll be up and
> around in no time," he said as he read through her last will and
> testament, which he had cunningly forged, to be certain that there
> were no problems or loopholes to prevent him from getting everything.
> The only task remaining was to get her to sign it...
Hey, they're bad guys...assuming they even cared about a will, why not just
forge it?
Exactly the point! In the SMS series, the Deathbusters had the tendancy
to dispatch one another on a regular basis. The one that took out Eudial
got all of her stuff. Gadgets and such.
Still...I suppose some things have to be done properly, even if you are a
bad
guy...or maybe I'm just overanalyzing the joke. I hate it when that
happens. ^_^
You can never overanalyze a joke. That just makes it funnier. Or, at least,
you'll end up looking pretty silly when you do. ^_^
> Soon afterward, pair of servant youma zipped up the body bag
> and tossed it into the flow-through sewer system, where it
> disappeared, never to be seen again.
<Shaggy> Let's cut his kidneys out and sell them on the black market!
<Jay> *in a tub of ice* NOOOOOOO!
Yaaaay! ^_^
> "What do you expect?" Kunzite whispered, gently rubbing the
> other's hand. "He put his sword through your heart. Had you been
> any slower in returning and had I taken any longer in getting to
> you, then you would have been very, _very_ dead."
<Kunzite> Yup...dead, dead, dead.
<Death> Then I could have taken her to Hell, Hell, Hell. Heh heh heh.
Then she'd have to do something silly like fight a super sayajin to get out
again. ^_^
> SPOILSPORT, Death sighed, and disappeared through the wall.
Some days it just doesn't pay to be the spirit of death.
Especially when people either 1) Refuse to die, or 2) Keep coming back.
> "I was just saying that you are very lucky that you're still
> with us," Kunzite murmured. "And you must be quite delirious,
> Zoicite. Because earlier, I thought you said that you discovered
> that the Starlight Knight was really Admiral Knight--or, StarKnight--
> whatever."
You'd think the name would be more than enough giveaway, but given the
general lack
of paying attention to the obvious clues from EVERYONE in this series, it's
not
entirely surprising. But this is still pretty bad. ^_^
The IQ is notoriously low in this sort of series, generally speaking. And, as
you mentioned later, everyone has trouble thinking outside the box, at first.
> "That's impossible. He died back before we destroyed the Moon
> Kingdom!"
>
> "I know, but he came, and he killed EVERYONE!"
I think I'll just bask in the glow of this awesome line.......okay done.
Heh.
Wow... I didn't think it was _that_ good...
> Kunzite shook his head. "I saw him die, Zoicite! Twice." He
> paused and considered his last statement. "Oh, I see your point,"
> he deadpanned.
Heheheheheh
When you see people die multiple times, why not come back some
more for old time's sake? ^_^
> "And the Starlight Knight--Admiral Tim--will likely have
> departed by now?"
>
> "I don't know, this is the first time I've fought him! For
> all I know, he's gone back and set up defenses!"
<Zoicite> It was horror I tell you! Pure HORROR! Like an Olson Twins
Marathon! He
came! He kicked our asses! He killed all the Youma! He could be setting
up some
Barney-androids as we speak!
Hmm... Well, waste not, want not!
"I don't know, this is the first time I've fought him! For
all I know, he's gone back and set up defenses!" She shuddered
in fear. "It was absolute HORROR, I tell you! Pure HORROR! Like an
Olson Twins Marathon! He came! He righteously kicked our DONKIES,
if you know what I mean--he killed all the youma! He could be
setting up some Barney-androids as we speak!"
"Barney-androids?!" The Fourth General glanced sideways at
the woman and shook his head. "I know you are in pain, and have
And so on. ^_^
> his head. "I know you are in pain, and have just been fiercely
> startled, but there's no need to go around second-guessing
startled? Heheh, a master of the understatement this one is.
He hasn't fought ASK for a long old time. ^_^
> "But they keep coming back!"
<Springer> It's not hard to knock em down, it's getting them to stay down
that's the
trick!
<Arcee> They're indestructable!
<Daniel> And they're everywhere!
^_^ Like cockroaches in many respects.
> the fight. If they keep coming back to haunt us, then we'll keep
> coming back to haunt them!"
Problem is the badguys never come back like that, except in Marvel Comics.
I mean,
they never plan on getting the Dragon Balls or a Silver Crystal to take
care
of that
little oversite. I mean it gets pretty obvious after the 5th time they
come
out of
certain death they've got something going for them that's a blatent foul in
the good
versus evil game, heh.
IIRC, Metallia has the power to revive people, but I'm not sure...
Still, though, it's hard coming up with an excuse for either side to continue
fighting after a long while.
<Zoicite> But what do we do after we dominate?
<Kunzite> Uhhhh....Plushies for everyone?
<Zoicite> Yay! Plushies!
Hmm...
"What do you mean?" Zoicite blinked in the faint light and
noticed a faint hum building up in the background. "You mean,
we'll never give up until we've dominated Earth?"
"YES!"
"But what do we do after we dominate it?"
While the power continued to gather around the general, a
large drop of sweat appeared on the side of his forehead. "Uhhhh...
Plushies for everyone?"
Zoicite smiled, still madly doped-up on pain killers. "Yaaay!
Plushies! And evil parties?"
"Those too," Kunzite replied, his voice taking on a slight
An improvement, y'think?
> Then, with hateful souls filled with the Spirit of Revenge, they
> will seek out the pitiful little Sailor Scouts and that idiotic
YYYYESSSS!!! FEEL THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE!
They're evil, so they're entitled. ^_^
> And all their little friends, and, and, and, and, and-"
>
> *WHACK!* Zoicite smacked her boyfriend.
Don't you hate losing your train of thought in the middle of an evil
overlord speach? Just takes the whole dramatic effect out of it.
Indeed it does, but ya canna debate tradition...
> "Yes! They will seek them out and DESTROY them ONCE and
> for ALL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
KILL THEM ALL! KILL THEM ALL! KILL THEM ALL!
Too bad they always figure out some wacky way to survive...
> "Yes, sweet cherry blossom--we will win!" Kunzite clenched
> a fist at the other general. "Join with me now. Together, we can
> CRUSH these Sailor Scouts and brink CHAOS to the Terran Empire!"
Ah...the mangling of Star Wars quotes. Can't beat that.
Among other things. ^_^
> and spoke into the wind, "ANCIENT SPIRITS OF REVENGE! TRANSFORM THIS
> DECAYED--ER!! REVIVE MY FALLEN MONSTERS AND GIVE THEM POWER BEYOND
the shear amount of mangled quotes in this rant deserves some sort of
award,
but I'll be damned if I would know what. ^_^
The Berillium Fanny Award?
> A large, black Ninja Mushroom popped out of the stonework in
> the floor. It squeaked, looking around with the marble tile on its
> head, then screeched and clamped down on Kunzite's heel with its
> huge, pointy teeth.
>
> "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kunzite screamed in pain.
<Zoicite> Awwwe! How cute!
Hmm...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kunzite screamed in pain.
"Scream?" Zoicite wondered in her dazed state. Apparently,
Nephrite's former youma doctor hadn't spared any expense in treating
her condition. "Awww, how cute," she commented when she saw the
mushroom hop by.
> In the next instant, the big, black 'shroom dove back down the
> hole, the stone tile clattering back into place behind it.
Though if he was a ninja shroom...who was he working for I wonder? Heh.
Arby probably left all sorts of weird written orders to follow.
[N' ya'z gots ta run out n' pants 'em at midnoight!]
[Go fer a pan'y raid next Tuesday in awl their closets!!!]
"Arby! Have you been training mushrooms to steal underwear again!?!?!"
"Well, a'course! Gotta train 'em ta do that. Wouldn't be propa' otha'woise!"
"Eww..."
> "So, Nephrite's really Molly's dad," Serena mused while hefting
> Mars's weight on one shoulder and Mercury's on the other.
Strong girl. Or is she still in her Sailor form?
She's very heavy for someone of her build. Tuxy, who can chuck roses
at supersonic speeds into concrete, has serious trouble picking her up.
In fact, when she was knocked out once, Jupiter was the only one who
could lug her around... As for strength, who knows?
> Mars started to slip from her friends' arm-over-neck hold.
> "I second that. Sailor Moon, keep walking!"
But this is only the disguise pen, as I recall...damn that girl must be
stronger than
she looks. I mean she's only about 4'11 from what I remember of her stats
and skinny
as a bean pole (despite how she eats).
Yup. Funny thing, that. Maybe she's got a dense musculature and doesn't
know it. ^_^
> Serena's eyes were still wide as her slow-clocked brain went
> through the possibilities. "But what if he tries to drain her energy
> again? Shouldn't we be, like, you know, cautious?"
You ever notice that Molly just has this thing about attracting the big bad
nasties
from the lower deapths of Abadon to drain her energy? That girl must have
some
serious power in her...I shudder to think what might happen if she learned
how to use
it. Heh.
Many fanfics have explored that idea. Some went well, others not so well.
The easy way out is to say that she's some sort of Sailor Senshi that hasn't
been discovered yet. In NETTG, since here she's Nephrite's kid, she'd end
up having similar levels of power.
But in the original, IIRC, it was just because Naru felt some overwhelming
level of love for Nephrite, and that's why he could get so much energy from
her. Unless something weird happened in the manga that I don't know about,
she's terminally normal.
Another thing that just struck me, is how the Negaverse really needs to
take
lessons from the Decepticons in the "How To's" of a cosmic smash and grab
of
energy (to borrow a quote ^_^). I mean, asside from the usual "Decepticons
Retreat!" of the day that was the only thing the censors would allow, they
somehow got enough energy to completely wrest control of Cybertron from the
Autobots, driving them completely from the planet by the year 2005. There
is no way they were as incompetent as they were made to be to be able to
accomplish that little feat.
Damn...I'm ranting again. Please ignore. ^_^
It's good material for future reference. After all, in NETTG and C:PSS, the
villains would end up losing so badly that they have no option but to rethink
their strategy. Or die, but that's no way to maintain the status quo! ^_^
> Mars cleared her throat. "We're tired, we're burnt out, and
> right now, we don't want caution. We want sleep!"
Attack bad guys! Right now! Make the evil overlord proud!
That's the thing: if a villain used all those rules, they'd probably end up
winning. In fact, the only way to ensure a victory for the heroes would
be to make sure that the villains slip up in some key area... or, of course,
if the heroes really _were_ that good...
In C:PSS, I'm adding competent villains in order to prove that S and V
really ARE that good. A competent villain is a bad idea... unless, of course,
the heroes manage to win anyway. Otherwise, it's dark. ^_^
> Once that had been accomplished, Mercury would feel quite honored to
> be carried in Serena's arms to her apartment.
Shit, they might as well just crash at the shrine if they're in that
condition.
If they were just a year or two older, they might have considered that
option, I'm sure. They'd probably just want to get home at this point.
I think. ^_^;;;
> "WAAAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I YAM ALLIVE!!!"
I remember someone at the end of Movie 5 of DBZ doing this. Piccolo then
sniped him
pretty good, he did. Could have sworn I heard "HEAD SHOT!" after that. Got
a major
warm and fuzzy off that scene. Heheheheh.
Nothing like blowing up the overconfident. ^_^
> Both Mars and Mercury shut their eyes. "Oh no, not again," they
> whispered together."
extra " at the end of together.
Fixed it.
> Serena craned her neck, looking over her shoulder to see
> something hanging back behind the shadows. "Ummm, what do we do?"
<Mercury> *Visor comes over eyes* We die!
Basically. I've got plans for that line later, so I'll hold it in reserve for
now. ^_^
> A tremendously powerful sonic wave ripped through them,
> blasting the three girls loudly and painfully against a brick wall.
> They spasmed wildly as they fell to the ground, slamming into the
> concrete with a dull thud. A white smoke wafted off of them.
One of the cool things about sonic waves is all the neat destructive things
that can
be done with it. Even more fun are the things that Tesla pulled off with
Alternating
Current (like the possibility of the AC weapon that could destroy as much
as
a nuke,
but quite cleanly if I read the article correctly).
You can make weapons out of all sorts of things. Deadly stuff, too.
I recommend cuteness. Anybody seen Tiny Snow Fairy Sugar? If so,
you know what I mean. ^_^
> "I told you," Mercury noted, flat on her back. Wincing from
She really did too. Heh.
Yup!
> It definitely looked like one of the youma from earlier--the
> one that kept on screaming and blasting them with those sound waves.
Soundwave superior. Constructicons...Inferior!
^_^
> Except this time, it had grown half a meter taller and had bits of
> metallic red armor all over it, complete with a set of large spikes
> on the shoulders and huge, jutting teeth. In short, Scream had come
> back to life, more powerful and frightening than ever, as Scream II.
Or StarScream!
...alright, I'll try to can the Transformer jokes. Heh.
I went for a bad movie pun this time. ^_^
> "ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GET'CHEW THREE DIS TIME!!!" Scream II
> announced through her exceptionally enlarged mouth. She held up a
> microphone and large speakers popped out from behind her back.
You know, all the Youma seem to be female. How do they reproduce?
All the male youma got shipped over to the Dark Agency, I guess. ^_^
Theories involve that they use some sort of spawning technique... But I
think it involves the fact that in a shoujo anime, the viewers wouldn't like
seeing men, who are typically only good for love interests or major villains
in that sort of series, killed all the time.
> "WHA?" Scream II peered at them strangely. "WHAT'CHEW TRYIN'?"
>
> "Yaaay!" Serena exclaimed, clapping her hands. "Mars still
> has some power!"
You know, I always did like your addition of giving Mars, who throughout
the
series demonstrates enormous spiritual power, the ability to cast
spells...even if they are Slayers spells ^_^. One would think it would be
a
It seemed a natural extension, and besides, Jussi Nikander wanted to see
Mars summon up Zelgadis's ghost from time to time. I really need to expand
on that plotline a bit more. I think I could do that in a future chapter...
logical extention of her native abilities...but then the Senshi of the
original series DID have a problem with thinking outside the box.
Yeah... Adaptability isn't exactly their forte.
> Serena clicked open the Moon Transformation Brooch. It was
> normally bolted shut, but its recent damage had broken several of
> the rivets. Inside were what looked like the magical equivalent of
> electronics, and at the center, was a clear gem, broken into a
> dozen tiny fragments.
And so here is the biggest weakness with powers that rely on
artifical/outside devices. You break it, get it stolen, misplace or
generally lose it, you're SOL.
Indeed. Fortunately, though, there's usually some plot device lurking around
in the corner to get the device restored or repaired in the same or next
episode.
> It would be more or less at this point where a split-screen
> phone conversation would be appropriate. The cheerfully happy face
> of Kasumi Incognito appeared on one side and Serena's countenance
> remained on the other.
Is Kasumi, Wonderwoman on the side?
She probably did some pretty wild Indiana Kasumi stuff on the side when
she was younger, yes. Plus there's the question on how she met her
husband...
> "Oh, I'm so sorry," Kasumi replied, her voice fluently
> apologetic, "Terra can't come to the phone right now. Her grandmother
> would be very disappointed if she had to leave right now. Actually,
> that's why I called. She said she felt something bad might be
> happening, and wanted me to check up on you." She brightened. "How
> are you doing, by the way?"
<Serena> Terra's mom just asked us how we're doing? Isn't she so nice?
<Mars> *deadpan* Beaten. Tired. Bloody. About to die. But other than
that, really peachy! Ask her how she is.
Hmm...
that's why I called. She said she felt something bad might be
happening, and wanted me to check up on you." She brightened. "How
are you doing, by the way?"
Serena smiled and turned toward her friends. "Terra's mom just
asked us how we're doing! Isn't she so nice?"
"How are we?" Mars deadpanned. "Oh, you know. Beaten. Tired.
Bloody. About to die. But other than that, really peachy!" Her
shoulders slumped. "Ask her how she is."
"Really peachy!" the blonde twittered, starting to curl a
strand of hair around her finger. "How are you, Mrs. Incognito?"
"Oh, I'm fine," Kasumi said. "Are you sure you're doing all
right out there?"
Serena considered her response, remembering that Mrs. Incognito
already knew all of their secret identities and there would be little
How's dat?
> Serena considered her response, remembering that Mrs. Incognito
> already knew all of their secret identities and there would be little
> point in hiding anything from her. "Well, we're not doing all that
> great. We stopped a small army of youma with the Starlight Knight's
And a Tux guy who finally got a REAL MAN's weapon. ^_^
Hmm...
great. Tuxedo Mask finally got himself a REAL weapon and we stopped a
small army of youma with the Starlight Knight's help," she blushed
and giggled slightly at the memory, "but after that, we got all tired
and started to head home-"
> "Oh yeah, a WHOLE bunch!" Serena frowned. "But we kinda ran
> out..."
Heh, overwhelming numbers. Gotta love em.
If you can't take 'em individually, send an army.
> "Destined, True-Love Prince?" Serena asked with a raised
<Mars> How come she gets one of those and we don't?
<Mercury> Yeah! I say we strike until we get one of those!
Hmm... Gotta save that one for later. ^_^
> Mercury, and the rats. "Not exactly... The Starlight Knight left
> already."
<ASK> Heheheheh....fire...Fire...FIRE!
^_^
> any dreams about a Pegasus?"
Nah. He's only interested in LITTLE girls. ^^
Scary, innit?
> Serena started scratching her head, idly wondering from where
> Terra's mother was coming up with this stuff. "Uh, no. Not since I
> was six, anyway..."
What'd I tell ya?
^_^
> "No," Serena quickly replied, then remembered that she did.
> She pulled out the Crescent Moon Wand. "Weeeeeell, just this crescent
> moon stick-thingy here."
About this point, I'd be really wondering how she knows all this stuff.
Heh.
There's a reason, but only people deeply involved in the project actually
know.
> "I heard what she said," Mercury replied, and patted her
> outer thighs. "And I'm afraid we're fresh out." She irritably tilted
> her gaze upwards. "Look, is she just making wild guesses, or how does
> she know all of this?"
Heheheheheheheheh, good ol Mercury.
Not too cynical, is she?
> A surge of emotions rushed through the girl's body when she
> examined once more the memory of how he proclaimed his love for her,
> then the moment went through her mind when he took her into his
> large, powerful arms and kissed her.
..................................I'm not sure if I should laugh, cry, die
of an overflow of saccarine or feel sorry for one, the other, or both. ^_^
Do it all simultaneously. It's so much more fun for the rest of us! ^_^
> Scream II stalked forward through the alleyway, her face full
> of menace. And, given the tremendous size of that face, an
> exceptional amount of this particular brand of menace was being
> displayed.
Menace brand softdrink! Availabe at all convenience stores near you! ^_^
^_^
> Some transformation music would have been appropriate more
> or less at this moment, whether it was high-pitched celestial
> chimes or some down and dirty heavy metal. Either would have been
> quite appropriate.
Heavy Metal for my personal preference. What was yours when you were
writing this line? What song, if any, I mean?
I hadn't decided. I was thinking more of a beefed-up version of either the
dub music or the original transformation music. I really hadn't decided. I
guess I put too much off for the revision...
> When Sailor Moon finally struck her patented wide-stance
> pose-salute with the big, glowing crescent moon behind her, the
> entire transformation sequence was complete.
*nods* Cool.
Which was exactly like the original sequence and I'll need to find a
way to improve it in the revision...
> "For LOVE and meting out JUSTICE, I am the BEAUTIFUL,
> sailor-suited soldier," the blonde exclaimed while going through
> a whole bunch of flashy and obviously unnecessary poses, "SAILOR
Hey it's Sentai! Wouldn't be proper if she didn't! ^_^
In-deed!
> *WRING-WRING-WRING!!!* A sphere of light focused itself
> between the tips of the Wand, growing larger and more concentrated
> before Sailor Moon braced herself and held her weapon forward,
> shouting, "Moon Cutey Heart-Thobbing-Reflex Missile!!!"
Ack! Cutsey attack names! Saccharine...damnit...where's the insulin I had
lying around here.
You used it all up for the Sailor Stylin' one, didn't you? ^_^
> Scream II wailed in pain as the shot tore her apart, the
> energy burning her with its pure light. The buildings for miles
> around rattled as if by a minor earthquake. "@#%@$^&@$&@#$&@$&@!!!"
> was all the monster could think to say as it went through the
> utter vaporization process.
Been watching the Cell Saga of DBZ again?
^_^ That was a good season-ender explosion.
around rattled as if by a minor earthquake. "@#%@$^&@$&@#$&@$&@!!!"
was all the monster could think to say as she went through the
utter vaporization process. "Oh! I mean, gosh darn it, Refresh!"
she added just before she vanished in the wake of the blast.
> Sailor Moon did a quick pirouette, twirled her wand around
> some more, then put it away and struck a victory pose.
*que Final Fantasy victory music*
Yup! Any victory music would do, though it'd be better if SM had
a huge sword or staff to swing around in the air...
> Kasumi nodded. "That's very nice. We normally reserve this sort
> of thing for when we need a _really_ big upgrade to fend off some
'We?' ^_^
Hint-hint. Nudge-nudge. Wink-wink!
> stopped, frowned, and started fidgeting when the paradox hit her
> right square in the noggin. "Er, Mrs. Incognito? How did you know
> about all this stuff?"
It's bad when even the ditz notices enough to ask the obvious questions.
Heh.
When that happens, you KNOW something's too obvious. ^_^
> "All right," Mars said. "Let's go home." She looked down the
> long street and recalled just how long of a walk it was to the
> shrine. "Oh, forget it." She opened up the Mars Cellphone and started
> dialing. "I'm calling us a taxi."
*snicker* Probably the first smart thing they've done all night.
"Now, why didn't I think of that?" Mercury muttered in a rather
irked, exhausted tone before slumping to the ground, snoring loudly.
> Some people might have wanted a bit more, so I sent this part in.
> Others may still be stuck at the first couple of sections, waiting
> for the thing to be completed.
> Yet others may not have cared at all. ^_^
Could have been worse. Could have had the responses I got with the latest
chapter of one of the terrible fics I was working on. *listens to the
crickets chirp* Anyway.... *^^*
Then I must feel especially honored to have gotten a good line-by-liner
like this one! I do better with in-depth responses and commentary
intended to be humorous. As it turns out, I can use a lot of it.
> Oh! And I'd like to know what everyone would like to see in the
> upcoming part where Terra talks with Grandma. Any preferences?
No...the uhh...scene was quite...uummm...icky enough. ^_^ I'll see about
getting to that chapter as soon as I can.
<Shampoo voice> I so happy! ^_- </Shampoo voice>
Excellent! Glad to hear it. I usually find something useful out of it all.
Or, at least a line or two.
Hope this helped in some small way. Heh.
Sure! Thanks for the commentary! I appreciate it.
-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com
"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
Resistance is and always has been: Futile."
Collective works available at:
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html
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