o/Attachments, attachments, an attachment's life fah me!\o


-- Attached file included as plaintext by Ecartis --
-- File: nukepost.txt

"Twenty-one out of eighteen? Shouldn't we move on to the next
chapter yet?"

Whelp, here we go with some more! Step by step, inch by inch, I'm
getting closer to the end of the chapter. Or, at least, where I
think the "chapter" should end. Actually, even I'm starting to
think of it as an odd thing that I should be calling a currently
seven hundred and fifty kilobyte plain text file a single chapter.

It's just that I finished another section, and it's about the
right size for another post, so hey, why not?

Oh well. Gotta keep people off-balance, at least for a while.
Wouldn't be proper otherwise! I'll welcome any comments or
suggestions anyone has to make.

The rest of it and its companion spinoff series available at:

http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

[Continued from Ch.10, P.2 (20/18)]

---

	Terra Incognito knew intuitively that love, of one variety or
another, is what optimally forms a family. After all, when she'd been
kidnapped by an alien from the planet Vegita, her mother had wasted
no time in calling her friends in to help get her back. And
afterward, her father had volunteered to take care of any problems
that had been left over.

	The perky young redhead was sure that everyone in her family
loved her a great deal, but for some reason, she did not particularly
enjoy how her grandmother was looking at her. "Umm, Gramma Jenova?"

	"What is it, child?" Jenova asked in a soft, penetrating,
alien voice. Her speech came from perfect lips from a perfect face,
which itself was attached to a vaguely human, female body in front of
the huge, bulbous sac that Terra never had the heart to ask about.
She levitated a little above one of the big, comfy chairs, unable to
sit due to her obvious lack of physical wherewithal that would be
necessary for such a feat. "Has my dear, sweet, granddaughter grown
tired of those that dare seek to 'pick on' her?" One of her long,
somewhat arm-shaped tentacles reached over to caress the girl's
cheek.

	Terra could understand how someone like her mother could fall
in love with someone like her father. She held the opinion that her
father was quite handsome and strong. He'd never treated her with
anything less than love and respect, even though he tended to keep
his distance most of the time. It was anyone's guess as to how her
mother met her father, and she had never asked. She had once idly
fancied them meeting at a dance somewhere and really hitting it off,
but that theory did not mesh well with her experience with them.

	However, even given her recently-enhanced imagination, she
could not figure out how someone like her daddy had an ancestry that
included someone like Gramma. It was like she was from another planet
or something. On the other hand, Terra didn't watch much television
and rarely, if ever, got introduced to her friends' grandparents. For
all she knew, ancient, gigantic, tentacled cthuloids were fairly
common members of any given family tree.

	Still, she made a mental note never to introduce Serena or
Raye to her beloved grandma.

	"N-no," Terra replied cautiously as she tried to shake off the
creepy, icky feeling welling up inside of her, "my friends are fine."
She looked over at her mother, pleading. "Aren't they?"

	Kasumi nodded as she placed the phone back on the hook. "Oh,
yes. Your friend Serena has her powers back and they finished off the
last of the youma for now."

	"That's good," Terra breathed a sigh of relief.

	Jenova floated a bit closer and peered with oddly-faceted eyes
at Terra. "We cannot have my granddaughter going around helpless,
though, can we?"

	"I'm not helpless," Terra said quickly. "I have powers!" She
pulled out her transformation brooch. "Look at this."

	Another one of Grandma's tentacles reached over and snatched
the magical piece of jewelry. "Ah, yes. The powers of Sailor Earth,
are they?" She held it up and examined it closely. "Barely worth
batting an eyelash over, especially when you have part of my genetic
background to help you along..."

	"Unlike you, 'dear mother,'" Sephiroth muttered cynically,
sitting beside Terra and holding her hand, "my child is fully human."

	"Um, right!" Terra added with a faint, forced smile.

	Kasumi looked like she wanted to raise her hand and say
something, but in the end, she closed her mouth and sat back down.
"No, better not mention it yet..."

	"A pity," the monstrous creature sighed, turning away slightly.
"Perhaps, if I could inject you with my cells, dear, then you would
be able to-"

	Terra frowned at her. "Gramma!"

	Jenova looked like she wanted to shrug. What sufficed as her
shoulders remained immobile while her tentacles were held up in a
gesture mimicking innocence. "Merely a suggestion."

	The redhead reached for her brooch. "Can I, um, have it back
now?"

	"Suit yourself," Jenova replied in a somewhat displeased voice,
handing back the magical transformation item in question. She turned
toward Sephiroth. "The next thing you know, she'll be dating boys
with spiky blond hair with glowing eyes that like to carry large
swords around."

	Terra thought about that. "That's a very specific description,"
she noted. "What made you think of that?"

	Jenova shrugged again. "Oh, well, you know..."

	Sephiroth cleared his throat. "There's nothing wrong with
carrying large swords around," the black-clad man insisted,
indicating his own sheathed blade.

	"No, I don't know," Terra replied to her grandmother, her voice
and expression completely devoid of guile. "Could you explain it to
me?"

	Jenova patted the girl on the shoulder with one of her large
tentacles. "Later, dear. Later. Perhaps when you are feeling better."

	"All right," Terra replied with a slight nod. She took a deep
breath. "Well, I'm feeling better already..."

	"That's good!" Kasumi said, smiling.

	"Well, look at the time!" Jenova levitated slightly higher, as
if to make the impression that she just stood up. "I must be going
now."

	Terra brightened, perhaps a little more than she should have.
"Really? That's wonderful--I mean, I'm so sorry you couldn't stay
longer... Um." She blushed, uncertain as to where some of her
thoughs processes were originating.

	"I am truly sorry as well, dear," Jenova replied. Her strange
body tensed and a smile formed on her etherially beautiful lips.
"But before I go, how about a kiss for your dear old granny?"

	Most of the blood in Terra's face chose that moment to flee
for deeper, safer locales within her body. "Umm! Of course..."

^_^

	Atop Tokyo Tower, the Atomic Starlight Knight winced.

	<Ewwww, icky Grandma kisses!>

	<Where?!>

	<Our core being feels...>

	<Wow! She feels creeped out!>

	<Amazing...>

	<We can sense it too! That must mean the link's steadying!>

	<Finally...>

	ASK had come to this particular locale to drink in the
surroundings and blow off some more steam. He felt the underground
base was too crowded, even though there were only three people
there. The restaurant was too crowded, even though it had been
closed for renovations, as had every other place within a three-
block radius.

	<Can't we learn to control our temper?>

	<No!>

	*WHAM!*

	<What!?>

	<Don't say what we think you're going to say!>

	<What's that?>

	<I don't know!>

	He didn't frequent bars, since his mentally-projected body
had zero chemical tolerance and the brawls were far too boring.
Besides, they were too crowded. Everywhere was too crowded. In
fact, so was his head...

	<We could transform back, if y'like...>

	<No. Too much work to do.>

	<We're just resting now anyway...>

	<No, I'm not!>

	"Yes, I am," he muttered aloud. "Just looking over at the
scenery. Hey, I can see Terra's house from here!"

	<I can see the big crater in the middle of town!>

	<I can see the remnants of the restaurant! Wow, those
nanobots almost have the frame back up...>

	ASK held his throbbing head. "Too loud..."

	<You could transform back...>

	<No. Way.>

	<Not now.>

	<We could concentrate on one task better...>

	<SILENCE, SCOUNDRELS! I HAVE WORK TO DO!!!>

	<But... but we're so close to a breakthrough!>

	<NEVERMIND THAT!!!>

	<Sheesh...>

	ASK breathed a long sigh and took out a small palmtop computer,
and pulled up an enemy review program he'd devised a few days back.
"I know!" he whispered. He leaned on the railing of the observation
deck and watched the screen closely.

	<I can review species in the galaxy and how to kill them!>

	<MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!>

	<Now THAT'S stress relief.>

	<Okay, key the image to switch as soon as I get the right
answer...>

	<Got it!>

	"Subject," ASK said in a clear, eloquent voice, "Dark Kingdom
youma. Death is inevitable with slight bodily harm. Energy attacks
are most effective, but terminating with physical blows is much more
enjoyable. Average time: one-point-five seconds."

	Upon hearing this, those visiting Tokyo Tower that night
decided to shuffle off to the other side of the observation platform.
Some of the smarter ones wisely decided that it was time to head
home.

	ASK continued. "Subject: Borg Drone. Transphasic blasts or
severe physical blows. Time: two seconds."

	*Sigh* <Aaah, memories!>

	<You know, my very presence here disrupts radio broadcasts for
the entire city...>

	<So? Who's listening to the radio at this hour?>

	<People in cars...>

	<We interrupt TV broadcasts, too.>

	<Heh!>

	"Subject: Elite Sayajin. Surprise attacks or fast overpowering.
Preferred: external teleportation of vital organs. Fast: point-oh-
seven seconds. Slow: Four hours, thirty minutes, nine seconds."

	<Slow-roasting makes 'em taste better!>

	<Unless ya flash-fry 'em!>

	<True...>

	"Juraian Royalty, Elite. Modified energy-breaking point to
shatter Light Hawk Wings combined with any sword or critical blow.
Target head or heart with projectile or blade. Five minutes."

	<Didn't take that long the first time we met one...>

	<We had our power source and weren't split up into core being
and avatar, remember?>

	<Oh yeah...>

	"Class Eight Chemical/Energy Vampire. Dodge claws and teeth.
Watch the energy-blasting, it's heavy-duty. Some have mind-control,
so don't bring any friends. Shatter hard palate, death is instant.
Twenty minutes, fifteen seconds, clocked."

	A smile finally came to ASK's lips. <Yeah, this is more like
it...>

	<THAT was a tough one. She didn't like the Thor impression
one bit.>

	<Not that it matters, not now.>

	<A trip down memory lane! I wonder if D's still around...>

	"Vulcan. BWAHAHAHA!!!"

	<Oh yeah, like they're gonna be a problem!>

	<Heh heh!>

	"Subject: Advanced Juraian Reaver (Albino). Point singularity
weapons and other gravity-based attacks. Preferred: Weapons of Mass
Destruction. Hmm, I don't know... Didn't take me long in the
simulation. Ummm, two minutes, unless you want the planet intact.
A couple hours if you do."

	<When was the last time I saw a real one?>

	<Been a while...>

	<Maybe they'd be more fun to take out by now...>

	<Some mighty-fine take-out, I'd say!>

	<Next time, we'll use chopsticks instead of claws.>

	<Yeah, manners and refinement and such.>

	"Galaxia-class Sailor Senshi. Disable weapon arm and target
vital organs. Pummel senseless and laugh mockingly. Do not kill.
She's one of a kind, heh heh heh! Eight hours."

	<The experimental KISA2 thing we sent after her that one time
did pretty good. Too bad it got munched at the end.>

	<Yeah, and I can't seem to find the matrix template.>

	<We reabsorbed it, right?>

	<Uh-huh, but...>

	<We lost it?>

	<Yeah.>

	<Too bad, could've been fun.>

	"Subject: Black Magic Advanced Sorceress. Catch on the right
day of the month, no contest. Any other day, surprise attacks or
overpowering. Three minutes, unless... Nah, that'd never happen."

	<Lina wasn't that hard.>

	<We never did last long against Luna, though.>

	<I'll never admit to it if you won't!>

	<Deal.>

	"Subject: Xenomorph. Oh, that's easy. Projectile weapons and
flamethrowers, give or take a tac-nuke. Five seconds."

	<Get a whole bunch of 'em in a line and shroomsyeruncle!>

	<Still, that infestation was pretty rough to take care of when
we got back to the Jupiter base...>

	<Well, the queens are pretty tough. Not too bad, though.>

	<Pummeled one to death once.>

	"Subject: Fashion-based Sailor Senshi. Electrical attacks to
stun, followed by eight sword-slashes to the midsection and finish
off with a grenade or concussive missile. Energy disruption should
speed up the process. Total time, seven seconds."

	<Any news on Sailor Stylin'?>

	<Not unless she's that weird Lynne-kid that keeps sending
me those illustrated letters and signing them with that name.>

	<Sheesh. I don't know what she's thinking, but I'm nobody's
'daddy!'>

	<Whose yo-daddy?>

	<?!?!?!>

	<Well, write her back and->

	<No.>

	<Anyway, she's in England. We'll investigate later. We have
more pressing needs now.>

	<Like tea!>

	<I hate tea!>

	<How about Spam?>

	<Spamspamspamspam?>

	<Or->

	*WHAM!* <Quiet!>

	<Awww!>

	"Ruler-class Demon Lord, Horrid Chaos Dimension From Whence
There Is No Return. Hmm... That's a tough one. Target vital organs?
Decapitate?"

	*BEEP!* The computer beeped mockingly.

	ASK frowned, suddenly placing his full attention on the small
screen. "What? Weapons of Mass Destruction?"

	*BEEEEEP!*

	"Full-blown Overpowering?

	*BEEP!*

	ASK scratched his head. "You don't mean to say that the only
way to beat it is with Peace and Love, do you?!"

	*BEEEP!*

	"Coctail party dresses?!"

	*BEEEP!*

	"No, don't tell me... A Jusenkyou Curse. Drowned slug, then
squish it."

	*BEEP!*

	<Ha-ha! You can't do it!> ASK told himself, before smashing
his fist against his skull again and saying, "Yes, I can!" He paused,
then glared at the computer screen. "Okay, you got me! FINE!!! WHAT,
then??!!?!?!?"

	<Do we even know what this is?>

	<Never seen it...>

	<Horns, claws, red skin, chitinous armor...>

	<Eh, we'll never come across something like that.>

	"Oh, forget it!" the Atomic Starlight Knight shouted out to the
world. He pocketed the device and leapt off the side of the tower.
"I'm done blowing off steam. Let's go home and check on Jade."

	<Works for me.>

	ASK's short hair flew upwards in the rushing wind as he idly
calculated the proper way to land.

	<Poor youma girl...>

	ASK landed heavily on his feet, leaving an impression of his
metal-shod combat boots in the pavement. He stepped out of the way
of a little oncoming traffic and started to take a stroll across
town, completely forgetting to activate his invisibility powers.
The few people on the street cautiously avoided staring at him as
he passed.

	<Say, Jade looks a lot like Jadeite...>

	<Duh! She IS Jadeite.>

	ASK froze. "Really?" he asked himself. "I didn't notice. How
do I figure that?"

	<Oh, let's see... All the bioscans indicated a precise match
to Jadeite's, other than the obvious lack of a certain key
chromosome.>

	<Some of the genes responsible for appearance were affected
as well, consistent with the effects of a locked 'Spring of Drowned
*CUTE* Girl' specialized Jusenkyo curse.>

	<Plus the fact that Jadeite looked exactly like her after the
bucket of water appeared and fell on his head.>

	<Wait, wait, wait, didn't Jadeite die?>

	<No, the wreckage from the space-battle indicated no sign of
his remains.>

	<But that was a big explosion! He'd have been vaporized!>

	<Still, there would have been a molecule or something left.>

	"Wait, wait. Stop right there." The tall, dark-haired, green-
armored man waved his hand in the air. "Am I saying that 'Jade Cyte'
is really Jadeite in disguise?"

	<That's about the size of it.>

	ASK processed that for a second. Then he shrugged and whipped
out his gunblade, resting it on his shoulder. "Whelp," he beamed, "I
guess that means I get to kill 'er."

	<YEAAAAAAAAAAAH, BABY!!!>

	<Wait, no!>

	<YEAAAAAH!!!>

	<NOOOO!>

	Armored plates on his back slid away, revealing a rudementary
sort of jetpack. Dual flames burned under his long, useless cape, and
he blasted off toward the wreckage of his restaurant. He started
reciting Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries and firing off missiles into
a nearby vacant demolition site. "DAH-DAHN-DA-DA-DAAA-DAAAH!"

^_^;;;

	After Grandma departed, Terra found herself feeling dazed and
vaguely sick to her stomach. It was not so much the act of kissing
her beloved 'Gramma' that left her feeling that way. It was more
of what her parents had explained to her after the monstrous creature
had left.

	"What do you mean--why can't I help out my friends anymore?"
Terra asked, her eyes slowly filling with tears.

	Kasumi placed her arm around the girl's shoulders. "I'm sorry,
Terra. We don't want you getting hurt."

	"Besides yesterday, I've never been hurt," Terra said, her
voice losing its baseline amount of hope. "My clothes got dirty that
one time, but never again after that!"

	"They're becoming more dangerous," Terra's father said. "You've
made me proud so far--you're very strong, but if this continues, not
even you will be safe."

	"Can you help them, then?" Terra asked.

	Sephiroth shook his head. "I'm not around long enough to do
much. I barely have time to visit you and your mother."

	"They're doing well enough on their own," Kasumi said brightly.
"Sailor Moon should be strong enough to stop anyone that comes along
for a while..." She sounded more hopeful than sure of herself.
"Mercury's doing well. Mars should be able to master her new magic
soon..."

	"I _want_ to help them, Mother!" Terra protested.

	"You could get hurt," Kasumi said. "I don't want you to get
hurt..."

	"Neither do I," Sephiroth added, folding his arms, turning his
back toward them and facing the window. He was not seated like his
wife.

	"We can't let you go," Kasumi added. "We're very sorry, but
it's for your own good."

	"Promise me," Sephiroth said, not looking at her, "that you
will not go to fight with them again."

	Terra looked down, closed her eyes, and pursed her lips.
Subtly, an unfamiliar feeling rose inside her. "I will go," she
said in a determined voice that she knew was hers but couldn't
recognize the tone, "whether you say I can or not." The girl gasped
when she recognized the emotion in question as the ancient force
known as 'rebellion.' "I mean," she amended quickly and in a softer
voice, "they might need me some day." She trembled and looked short
of breath, surprised at herself.

	Kasumi held a hand to her cheek, deep in thought. She picked
up the phone and went into another room.

	"Father," Terra said, "Daddy. I can't promise that. I know I
can be a big help--I can feel it!" She held a hand to her heart.
"I _can_ be strong enough to help them out, maybe even stronger
than Serena's become!"

	"I see..." Sephiroth paused in thought. Then he whirled around
and unsheathed his sword in a flash.

	"DADDY!" The sword went in an arc close to Terra's face. Her
head blurred as she moved it out of the way of the blade's path.
Dodging backwards to what she considered a safe distance, she
discovered that the ribbon that held her ponytail bound had been
split in two. "W...why?"

	"Do you intend to disobey me?" the white-haired man asked
sternly, brandishing his weapon.

	Terra took a couple of breaths to get her bearings. "Oh, I
see. You knew I'd be able to dodge that."

	"Perhaps," Sephiroth replied. "Shall I continue?"

	The again-perky girl shook her head. "Oh, no. I know you,
Father. You wouldn't kill me."

	"If I were to do so," Sephiroth continued, "or to allow you
to fight alongside the others, the net effect would be the same."
He pointed the tip of his exceptionally long blade at the girl's
neck. "It would only be a question of time."

	Terra tilted her head quizzically at her father. "Wait, is
this where I'm supposed to defeat you in a fair battle so that I
can prove I won't get hurt out there?"

	"Something like that."

	Terra scrunched down her face and considered her options.
Finally, her expression lit up and she smiled broadly. "All right."

	"I will not go easy on you."

	"That's all right, Father."

	"It will be difficult."

	"I understand."

	"Are you ready?"

	Terra nodded. "Umm-hmm!" She looked around. "So, where's my
sword?"

	Sephiroth meaningfully adjusted his grip on the handle of his
extended katana. "You don't get a sword."

	"What?!" Terra frowned, then swiftly ducked under a slash.

	"Begin!"

	The next few minutes were a blur in her mind. Using reflexes
she somehow knew were hers but couldn't figure out where she had
acquired them, Terra avoided everything her father could dish out.
This included the sword, the lightning bolts, the flames, and the
multiple assaults by strange spirits from another dimension. If
asked, she would say that she had no idea how she managed to avoid
it all, but some distant part of her seemed to know exactly what was
going on, and guided her actions. Plus, at the corner of her eye,
sometimes she could see the edge of some weird spherical barrier
deflecting some of the more deadly-looking forces away.

	However, she would be hard-pressed to explain how she, in the
tiny, cagelike space of her living room, managed to knock her father
down, wrench the sword from his unyielding fingers, and point it at
his neck.

	Terra gasped, took a step back, and covered her mouth, dropping
the sword in shock. For the first time, she noticed the tattered mess
that had become of her pajamas. Beneath, her flesh had been left
completely unscathed. "Oh my! Excuse me, Father, I must interrupt our
battle to clean up and put something proper on." Holding the remains
of her clothes together to retain her modesty, she fled for her room.
"I'll be right back!"

	Kasumi walked back in. "I think I found a way to make everything
work out--oh my!" She covered her mouth in shock when she saw the
wreck that had once been the living room. "This could take hours to
clean!" She immediately set about setting the broken chairs back up,
resetting plastic vases, and sweeping the broken glass. "I heard the
noise. Did you challenge Terra to a duel again, dear?"

	Every part of Sephiroth's body burned with pain. With eyes
wedged shut, he replied, "Possibly. Aaaarrrgghhh..." In his family,
hitting like a girl had become rather the opposite of the traditional
meaning. "I think she gets it from you."

	Kasumi only smiled, humming to herself while she started
vacuuming, missing only the sections underneath her fallen husband.
A few moments later, she put her apron on and started pleasantly
reapplying plaster on the walls.

	Soon, Terra came back out. In just a few minutes, she had
managed to bathe, wash and brush her hair, and put on a darling white
blouse with orange loose-fitting casual slacks. She also had on thin,
short white socks with casual shoes. "I'm ready!" she announced,
assuming a ready fighting stance.

	"This is why we never trained her in martial arts," Sephiroth
added, sitting up and holding his head. "I don't think we'd have been
able to take it. Speaking of which, I seriously need to start working
out more. Too much of your home cooking..."

	"She's only been this strong since we moved here," Kasumi said.

	Terra relaxed slightly. "Is the fight over with?"

	"Yes," Sephiroth said, gingerly fingering a bruise on his
forehead.

	"Does that mean I can help Serena and the others?" the redhead
asked hopefully.

	"Not quite, I'm afraid," Kasumi said.

	Terra looked at her. "Why not? Daddy says I can. Right, Daddy?"

	"As far as I'm concerned," Sephiroth replied, before his
strength failed and he fell on his back again. "Sure."

	"Well," Kasumi hesistated, "you _can_ go to help them out,
but-"

	Terra blinked. "But what?"

	"But if you must go, I insist that you take a chaperone."

	"Chaperone?" Terra asked, her mind searching for the
definition. "But who's someone older that could go with me? Father's
busy, isn't he?"

	There was a knock at the door.

	"Well, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Kasumi said as
she went to answer it. "Come along, Terra."

	Terra followed her mother to the door. There was another knock.

	"Now, be on your best behavior," Kasumi reminded the girl.

	Terra nodded.

	They opened the door, and on the other side fluttered a small,
green and white patterned seal. "G'day," it said, presenting a large
tray of tiny, squeaking things. It saluted and added, "Door ta door
ArbyFish salesman!"

	"Arby?" Terra asked, suddenly brightening. "You're alive?"

	The ArbyFish shook its head. "No, no, ya'z gots it awl wrong.
Oye'z Flanburger, the Second One!"

	"You're not Arby?" Terra pressed.

	"Nope!" the creature replied. "Oye'z ya door-ta-door ArbyFish
salesman." It held its tray higher. "Care for an ArbyFish? Tastes
GREAT on a cracker!" It held up an orange thing, vaguely ArbyFish-
shaped, which squeaked. "Try an Orange one. They prevent scurvy.
Ya can juice 'em or put 'em on a stick and lick 'em!" He tied the
little spit to a stick and held it up for them to see.

	"You're selling your young?" Kasumi asked, holding her ponytail
and trying not to look too taken aback.

	"A'course!" Flanburger replied. "Roight propa' business, it
is! Gotta sell ya young. Ow'd ya get 'em ta grow up roight if ya
didn't? Eh? Eh?"

	"When's Arby coming back?" Terra asked. "You know him, right?"

	"Ev'ryone knows th' First One," Flanburger replied. "E's roight
congealed, 'e iz. 'Ad a ceremony n' a statue on 'Shroom Day, too.
It's a Tradition(tm)." He cleared his throat. "So, 'ow 'bout n'
ArbyFish? One fer a nickel er two fer a quar'er? A few more n' yew'd
'ave a bushel. N' if ya make it double, Oye'll throw in sum fungus,
tew!"

	Kasumi simply began to close the door. "No, I think we're fine."

	"'Ey!" the ArbyFish said in protest.

	"I'm only interested in Pink ones," Kasumi added.

	"Yeech!" Flanburger said in disgust, turning his nose up and
moving to the next house. "G'day! Door ta door ArbyFish salesman!"

	Kasumi shut the door.

	"That wasn't who you wanted me to meet, was it?" Terra asked,
slightly confused by the experience. "Door to door ArbyFish salesman?
There's not only one of him?"

	"No, that wasn't who I wanted you to meet. Hmm, she must have
been delayed."

	"So I'll need to fight the Negaverse with another woman as
a chaperone?" Terra asked. "Can she protect herself in a fight?"

	Kasumi nodded, just as there was another knock at the door.
This time, when she opened it, a girl in her late teens in a
sensible dress with blue-green hair stood before them. "Oh! Please
come in."

	The woman half-led, half-dragged the new girl into the
kitchen and sat everyone down around the table.

	"Terra, I'd like you to meet Michiru Kaioh," Kasumi said,
"also known as Sailor Neptune, warrior for the New Age and Soldier
of the Outer Solar System."

	Michiru's jaw dropped. "Ah, I..." She was obviously at a
loss for words. She appeared to be thinking that she ought to be
offended on some level, but in the end, her expression showed more
confusion than anything else. "How did you know about that?"

	"A little green fish told me," Kasumi replied. "Anyway,
Michiru, this is my daughter Terra. On the side, she's an honorary
Sailor Scout, Sailor Earth."

	"Honorary?" Terra whispered with a slightly raised eyebrow.

	Michiru stared at the redhead. If she were the sort to have
her eyes routinely bug out, they would have done so at this point.
"_You're_ Terra?"

	"That's right," Terra said, wondering about the cause of
the other young woman's distress.

	"You're the one I'm supposed to babysit?" Michiru asked
incredulously.

	Terra looked puzzled. "Babysit? Mother, you said she'd be my
chaperone for when I go out to fight..."

	"It's the same thing," Kasumi replied with an encouraging
shrug, as if she had been hoping all along that the terminology
wouldn't matter.

	"When she goes out to fight?" Michiru asked. "All I said I
wanted was a part-time job to help me purchase a new violin..."

	Kasumi looked at her with mild distress. "So, you won't help
a fellow Sailor Soldier to fulfil her duties?"

	"I didn't say that," Michiru replied, slowly waving a hand.
"It's just that this is hitting me a little too quickly. Could you
please give me a minute to think about all this?"

	Kasumi nodded and smiled as she stood. "Of course! Why don't
you two talk and get to know each other. I need to go take care of
something."

	"The living room's still a mess," Terra explained.

	"Ah, yes, the living room," Kasumi whispered. "Yes, yes. That's
it!" She walked out of the room.

	Terra tilted her head and sent a strong, closed-eyed smile
directly at Michiru. She wrongly decided that a direct, penetrating
question would work best to help break the ice. "You look like you're
a nice and mature sort of girl. What kind of boys do you like
dating?"

	Michiru scooted back as if hit in the sternum with a three-
pound shot put. "Ahhhh," she began, gasping for breath, "I prefer a
strong _companion_ who isn't afraid to voice their opinion."

	"Oh, that's nice," Terra beamed.

^_~;;

	Jadeite was dreaming--he knew he had to be dreaming. He was a
he, for example, and the sparkling bubbles floating in the distance
were a dead giveaway. So was the slightly brighter-than-normal edge
to his vision. Either that, or he had died, but the Terran Guardian
felt sure that someone would take a moment and inform him if such an
event had taken place. Or so he liked to think.

	His current surroundings were quite familiar. They consisted
of the stone architecture found in the Lunar Palace on the Moon. He
felt as if only a few scant days had passed since he had gazed upon
it last. Yet, at the same time, he knew that the structure had lain
in ruins for thousands upon thousands of years and the inhabitants
thereof had been slain.

	One of the sadder parts of the experience resided in the fact
that Jadeite recalled, from a first-person view, how the General
slaughtered several of those he considered friends on this very site.
It was only a small comfort to know that the one truly responsible
and in control when that happened would not likely be heard from
again.

	"Hello!" he called out. His voice echoed back at him through
the corridors. "What now?"

	It was a very real dream, no doubt about that. His motion did
not feel restrained, and he could see clearly, aside from the odd
light effects around him. Looking down at himself, he could see he
wore his old grey uniform.

	The air was still and quiet. Glancing around, Jadeite could
tell that he was very alone. At least, until someone tapped him on
the shoulder. He whirled around to face a woman in a long white dress
with twin, ankle-length ponytails. It only took a split second for
him to recognize her.

	"Queen Serenity," Jadeite whispered, bowing deeply.

	"Stand tall, Guardian," Serenity replied, motioning for him to
rise. "The Moon Kingdom is gone, and I am not your ruler."

	"The King is dead," Jadeite replied, slowly getting back up,
"I have no idea where the Prince is, my friends are dead or possessed
and I'll die before being forced to kneel before Beryl again." A
pleased, yet weary, look came to his eyes. "Besides, you have no idea
how good it is to finally see a familiar face!"

	The Queen smiled brightly. "I'm happy to see you, too!" She
tilted her head at him. "So it's true. You _did_ manage to break
free. I can't feel Metallia's power in you anymore."

	"It was probably the toughest thing I've ever done in my entire
life," Jadeite admitted. "But not as difficult as what I'll have to
do to stop the other Guardians," he paused, "I mean Generals." He
spat the last word.

	"You're free," Serenity noted, "and Nephrite too has left the
Dark Kingdom. With any luck Zoicite and Kunzite will manage to find
their way as well."

	"You sound slightly different than the Serenity I remember,"
Jadeite noted.

	"A lot of trauma and several thousand years can make a big
difference, wouldn't you agree?" Serenity replied. "Furthermore, I'm
not the only one that's changed."

	Suddenly, their surroundings shifted. They stood in a small
room with stuffed toys and curtains all about. In the center was a
thin-cushioned bed, upon which lay an absolutely adorable blonde
girl, perhaps ten years old. She wore a frilly nightgown and slept
soundly on her side.

	Serenity reached down and ran her hair through the child's
short hair. "Isn't she pretty?" She looked across the bed at Jadeite
and said, "I trust you will be able to explain how this happened?"
It wasn't so much a question as a suggestion--a rather motherly
suggestion that promised a spanking whatever the response might be.

	Jadeite grimly recognized the girl. The image had been burned
into his mind from the first moment he had gazed into the mirror and
seen a face that wasn't his own. Actually, she looked a lot like one
of his granddaughters. "Ah, yes... Er." He soundlessly watched her
sleep for a moment before looking into the Queen's eyes. "I'm a
little unclear as to how it happened myself."

	"Doesn't it bother you at all?"

	"I always woke up to the same, unwavering appearance for
centuries. I'd say a little change was in order by now, wouldn't you
agree?" There was more than a hint of irony in Jadeite's voice.

	Serenity let out a long sigh. "You're all right with it, then?"

	"It sure beats being dead or possessed," Jadeite replied.
"Unless, of course, you know the way to change me back..."

	The Queen shook her head. "Your bid for freedom did terrible
things to the enchantment placed upon you. Before, it was such a
simple and straightforward thing. Now, it's so bent and battered
beyond recognition that it would take considerable effort with
the Ginzuishou to get rid of it, and I do not have that Crystal
with me right now."

	"I'm sure I'll get used to it," Jadeite replied sullenly.
After all, he had gone into this believing that it was a permanent
thing. Simply hearing that there was a way--ANY way--to eliminate
the curse was definitely a breath of fresh air. "I take it that
my body right now is simply a sort of spiritual projection?"

	"Yes," Serenity said. "You are still you, despite whatever
might happen to," she meaningfully placed a hand on the girl's head,
"you. Take comfort in this."

	Jadeite considered that. Oddly enough, it did make him feel
a bit better.

	"Are you ready for the challenges ahead of you?"

	"There happen to be several sets I'm worried about. Which
challenge might you be referring to?"

	"Good question. Where _can_ I begin?"

	"How about: is this just a dream, or are you really sending
me a message this way?"

	"Yes. However, I think we should ask the most immediate
question."

	"What's that?"

	"As such a small child, you have no muscle to speak of and
recently drained most of what remained of your powers. How do you
intend to rescue Zoicite and Kunzite or even be able to serve your
prince when you find him?"

	That gave Jadeite pause to think. "That's right, I am sort
of weak, outnumbered, outpowered, outgunned..."

	"How did you fend off the thing that was in your mind?"

	"I drew upon my inner cuteness or something weird like that.
I think. Actually, my mind's still sort of a blur."

	"Do you think that could work against the rest of the Dark
Kingdom?"

	"To be perfectly honest, NO."

	"Then it would appear that you are out of luck."

	Jadeite nodded. "It certainly seems that way, doesn't it?
Unless, of course, you have something that I could use until my real
powers have a chance to recover."

	"I'm afraid," Serenity said, "that I do not have anything that
could aid a thousand-year-old Terran Guardian. Your powers are not
derived from what I used, such as the Empyrean Silver Crystal."

	"Ginzuishou," Jadeite corrected.

	"Yes, whatever," Queen Serenity replied, turning slightly red.
"But there is something..."

	"What is it?"

	"I _do_ have an object that could aid a girl, say, nine, ten,
eleven years old, blonde, with a desperate need to help her friends."

	Jadeite closed his eyes, but only to prevent the woman from
seeing that he was rolling them. Breathing out a sigh, he said, "Not
a transformation pen..."

	"Oh, come on," Serenity urged brightly and mischievously,
"you'll look good in a sailor suit! We'll call you Sailor Chibi-Chibi
Jadeite!"

	"Ah," Jadeite said, looking frantically around for an exit,
"on the other hand, maybe the Dead Moon Circus is still has an
opening..."

	"Don't be such a baby," Serenity prodded, grinning like a
maniac. "It'll do you good. Just to make sure you still want to
change back when the Sailor Senshi find the Ginzuishou, of course."

	"Imperium Silver Crystal," Jadeite corrected.

	"Whatever."

	"Isn't there anything _else_ you could lend me?"

	Queen Serenity sat down beside the young girl. "Well," she
said slowly, "there _is_ a slightly less pretty, but more convenient
option." She held out her hand, above which a large golden, jewel-
encrusted bracelet appeared, shimmering in the soft light. "The
Cutie Moon Rock Bracelet. On loan from a friend."

	Jadeite also sat down in order to examine the object closer.
"What does it do?"

	"It can work as a temporary source for your powers."

	"Why is it more convenient?"

	"Because it lets you use your own skills instead of making you
learn new ones."

	"Why is it less pretty?"

	"Because you _might_ not end up in a sailor fuku when using
it," Serenity explained.

	"I'm willing to take that risk," Jadeite replied smoothly. "Do
you want anything in return?"

	"Do what you can to protect the Sailor Senshi," Serenity said,
just as the room took on a brighter hue. "Unless something is done,
one of them will shortly perish."

	"Wait!" Jadeite leaned toward her urgently, taking the hint that
the dream would shortly end. "Which one? Which one should I keep an
eye on? And how do I use the bracelet?!"

	"You'll figure it out."

	The brightness went the other direction, fading into shadow.

	"How can I know that?!" Jadeite called into the nothingness.

	"Because if you do not, _you_ will shortly perish."

	"WHAT?!"

...

	Guardian Jadeite's eyes shot open. She rolled aside and fell to
the floor, just in time to avoid a massive energy blast that
obliterated whatever she had just been lying on.

	"Oooh, nice move, General!" an overconfident, mocking voice
shouted through the grey smoke. "Glad to hear you've decided to make
this a bit more interesting. I'd hate for you to have a _boring_
death."

	"Stop it, 'Tim!" a woman cried. "She's just a little girl,
not a general!"

	"Hah! That's just what he wants you to think!"

	"Computer," a third, calm voice said, "activate all sickbay
forcefields. Maximum power."

	Jadeite blinked several times, seeing a slight flash a few
feet away. She could feel that her wounds were gone, but she
nevertheless remained sore all over. Hanging loosely about her
wrist she could feel the bracelet Queen Serenity had given her.
She slid it higher up in order to avoid losing it. It fit snugly
around her arm. "Good, not just a dream, but what's going on?!"

	*BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!*KSSH-KSSH-KSSH!* Three large explosions
bounced off the nearby invisible barrier.

	Some of the dust cleared, allowing Guardian Jadeite to identify
a balding man in a blue and black uniform, a woman wearing tights and
a tunic along with a big bow in her hair and a big spatula on her
back, and then there was the other guy.

	He was six-foot-six, wore green and black chamouflage armor,
had a really mean, obsessive look in his eye, and he carried a very
large particle beam cannon that looked like it ought to be mounted on
a battle cruiser.

	"Computer," the Atomic Starlight Knight said in an overly
cheerful voice, "deactivate the EMH and the forcefields."

	"But!" His mouth agape, the doctor vanished and the barrier
blinked off.

	"The only buts around here are going to be kicked ones." ASK
rook a step closer and waved his gun inches from the child's face.
"I know I shouldn't do this, but for old time's sake, what do you
say I count to ten and THEN fire? One... Two..."

	Jadeite's lower jaw literally hit the floor. "GWAAAH!"

	*BLAM!!!* "TEN!!!" The Knight in Shining Armor absorbed the
massive recoil, his boots digging an inch into the metal deck.

	Every last sore muscle in Jadeite's body sprang into action.

	*KERBLAAAAAAAAM!!!* The shot went right through the girl's
last position and burned away deck after deck behind her, cutting
through the walls not entirely unlike Liquid Plumber through a human
digestive system.

	"Yipe!" Jadeite squeaked, clinging frantically to a support
beam on the roof, still trying to get her bearings.

	ASK looked up at her. "Hey, you're just making things worse
for yourself!" He dropped the huge weapon, which made a noise like
an earthquake in Los Angeles, shaking every loose thing off the
shelves to shatter on the floor.

	"Wait!" Jadeite cried. "I'm not the General!"

	"Right," ASK replied levelly as he pulled out his gunblade and
pointed it at her, "and I'm not about to blow your head off."

	*CHK-CHK!*BLAAAM!!!* The girl tumbled away, just barely missing
the shockwave of the blast.

	"STOP IT, 'TIM!" Ukkyo cried, grabbing the tall man around the
shoulders and yanking his arm down.

	*BLAAAM!* This shot barely missed Jadeite by about a foot.

	ASK looked at the cook. "Why?"

	"Because I know Jadeite, and that's not Jadeite!"

	"Yes he is," ASK replied. "I figured it out all by myself.
He's just cursed with something. I think I did that, too, but I
don't remember how."

	Ukkyo put her hands on her hips. "This is what we were talking
about! You've gone insane again."

	"No, I haven't," ASK affirmed, idly pointing toward the cute
young blonde girl with his gunblade. "Sorry, but this is business."
He leaned down and kissed Ukkyo on the forehead and pulled the
trigger.

	*BLAAAM!*

	"WAAAAH!" Jadeite cried in fright, crossing her small arms in
front of her chest. A flickering green barrier appeared. It was just
_barely_ enough to block the shot. She panted hard, looking around
for an escape route.

	"If you kill her, I'm breaking up with you!" Ukkyo warned.

	ASK frowned. He clicked on the safety and put away the sword.
Looking quizzically at her, he said, "Why would you go and do a
crazy thing like that?" He looked aside, as though someone else
was speaking to him.

	*WHACK!* The six-foot-six one man legion brought his fist
down heavily on his head. "Quiet," he whispered.

	"Because that's just plain wrong!" Ukkyo shouted.

	"No it isn't," ASK said. "This is war--sublime war! There must
be no retreat! Mwa-hah!" He seemed to _really_ be enjoying this.

	Jadeite ran past them in order to reach the door. Not looking
at her, ASK snagged the back of her dress and held her up while
speaking to Ukkyo.

	"AAAH!" screamed Jadeite, her legs dangling in the air. She
gripped the bracelet on her arm and tried to think happy thoughts
or whatever it took to activate it.

	"Okay, let's get this settled," ASK said. "Right here, I have
a General of the Negaverse in my grasp, and you want me not to kill
it?"

	"Don't hurt her," Ukkyo insisted, "she's just a child!"

	"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't hurt meeeeeeeeeeee!" the girl
pleaded, tears flowing from her eyes and her hands held together in
deep supplication.

	ASK glanced at her. "Don't think being cute will help. _I_
know that method better than you possibly could." At Ukkyo, he said,
"There you go again. You don't seriously think that this is General
Jadeite, do you?"

	"Jadeite is a lot older, a _lot_ taller, a LOT more powerful,
AND AN AWFUL LOT MORE MALE THAN SHE IS!" Ukkyo added sternly.

	"Listen to her! Listen to her!" Jadeite urged.

	"Shh!" ASK shushed her.

	"At least put her down so we can talk about this," Ukkyo
suggested.

	"All right," ASK agreed. He looked at the little girl. "You're
too overconfident, too unintelligent, and you have a terrible
disguise."

	"Look who's talking," Ukkyo muttered.

	"Okay, FINE," ASK compromised. He placed Jadeite on the floor,
thrust a finger at her face and commanded in a voice that left no
room for doubt or argument, "Don't move."

	Jadeite shakily nodded.

	ASK pulled up chairs for the three of them. Ukkyo helped the
girl into one before she and the knight also sat down. "Computer!
Activate the EMH!"

	"Please state the nature of the--what the--?! Not again!!" The
hologram gasped at the horrible damage done to sick bay.

	"Doctor," ASK said in a calm voice while glaring daggers at
Jadeite, "get us some drinks. Orange cream strawberry juice, all
around."

	"I'm a doctor!" the EMH complained loudly, "not a replicator!"

	"So? Check the 'girl' out for more injuries when you give her
the drink if it makes you feel better." ASK turned toward Ukkyo.
"You like orange cream soda, right?"

	The doctor choked a bit, but he complied.

	And so it was that the dark knight, the cook, and the ex-
general got together and had a nice, calm pre-mortem conference.
Each party in question was allowed to argue their point without
interference from the other party. As the plaintiff, ASK went first,
insisting that the girl was really General Jadeite in disguise and
must therefore die in the most messy and excrutiating fashion. Ukkyo
went next, arguing that it was completely insane to think that such a
cute, adorable girl could really be a Dark Kingdom general in
disguise--the very idea was ludicrous.

	Then came the girl's chance to defend herself.

	"First of all," she said, "my name _is_ Jadeite."

	ASK nodded. "There, see?"

	"SHH!" Ukkyo smacked the man's hands away from his firearm.

	"But I am not the General," Jadeite added. Looking straight
at them and taking a sip from the odd-tasting drink, she continued,
"I am Guardian Jadeite of the now-defunct Earth Kingdom."

	"Isn't that the same difference?" ASK cross-examined.

	"No," Jadeite replied. "Shortly before we--you and I, Admiral,
yes, I do remember you--met, I was taken possession of by an evil
force. My will was repressed, and that _thing_ became who you now
know as the General."

	"So you _were_ the General?" Ukkyo asked, slightly confused.

	"After a manner of speaking, sort of." Jadeite managed to
ignore the doctor, who continued to medically scan her body.

	"But you're not now?" The Atomic Starlight Knight actually
started looking a bit disappointed.

	"Not a chance," Jadeite said in the voice of one who had
just heard the name of an arch-nemesis spoken aloud.

	"Have any proof?" ASK requested.

	Jadeite thought about that. "Not really." The band on her arm
started to warm up, reminding her of it. "Unless you count this. It
was just given to me by Queen Serenity herself."

	"Let me see that." ASK grabbed her arm and looked at the
large bracelet. After a moment of examining it, his expression
relaxed. "It's... real. It's hers."

	Jadeite slowly took another sip of her beverage. "Do you
believe me now?"

	ASK smiled broadly. "Sure!" He grabbed the blonde's free hand
and started shaking it roughly. "Any friend of Serenity's is a
sure-fire friend of mine!" Then he frowned. "Does this mean I don't
get to kill you?"

	Jadeite relaxed. "I guess not..."

	Then the sickbay doors opened and Paracite ran in, his clothes
as rumpled as ever. "Cousin Jadeite! Cousin Jadeite!" Short of breath,
he ran toward the young girl and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I'm SO glad you're okay! Hey, wait a second." He patted her back and
shoulders a little. "You're a little smaller than when I last saw
you."

	Jadeite frowned. "Er, excuse me, could you remind me who you
are...?"

^_^;;;

To be continued...

There, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?

I only have a few more loose ends to tie up and then I'll be able to
advance the story along. I just _had_ to dump so many different
plotlines into it, didn't I?

Besides, I've gotta get to the Ranma/Pluto stuff soon. Wouldn't
be proper otherwise! Plus, there's the four other series I need
to work on as well...

If anybody noticed anything amiss, I would like to hear about it,
so that I may take the proper actions and cover it up before anyone
else notices, etc. ^_^

Until later, then!

-------------------------------
Benjamin A. Oliver
boredcollective@aol.com

	"We are the Bored. Lower your shields and surrender your fics.
	 We will add your standup and slapstick comedy to our own.
	 Your humor will adapt to entertain us.
	 Resistance is and always has been: Futile."

Collective works available at:
http://rakhal.com/florestica/ben-oliver/index.html

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