It's interesting to see Mary refered to as a 'rouge' instead of a redhead. 

Thank you; it's one of my own favorite linguistic inventions.

Rather than an aside, I think I'd prefer to see his full name used in the
first paragraph and then just use Ken from then on.  I get the feeling he's
actually a full-blood native and there is some discrimination against them.

To the first: No, he's of mixed ancestry; as, I should note, are Sam and Mary.
To the second: Yes, there is.

 

Sam appears to have gotten over her own mortification at the skirt length.

It's just not as apparent to someone observing her, and she has other things to
worry about right at the moment.

     There isn't even a snarl to give them warning. Before the girl can
complete her sentence, the clerk springs on her, grabbing hold of the

shoulders

of her costume and dragging her away from Lara. "{Dame : Damn}," he says.

"{Dame : Damn}."

     "{Dame : Damn} you!" the girl snaps, and slams her elbow into his

stomach.

I'm reasonably sure you aren't emphasizing his misanthropy.

No; the possessing entity is referring to the sort of magic-user that Sam and
the others are by the correct term: "Dame".
 

This story continues to be very interesting.

Thank you.
 
Chris Davies.

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