----- Original Message -----
From: "Richard Robinson" <RICHARDROBINSON@prodigy.net>
To: "Dave Menard" <menard5078@rogers.com>; <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Monday, May 27, 2002 11:37 PM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [fanfic][Ranma]Comes the Cold Dragon: Part XIV

Now, I think I've mentioned before how much I enjoy the amount of detail

and

information you manage to convey in your stories (the crash course in
diamond sales you've just given us in the last few chapters, for

instance)

but I wonder if all that information is really _necessary_ to advance

the

plot. Fascinating and educational though it is, (and it *is*) if it

serves

no purpose to the story, you might (*might*) consider excising some or

all

of it.

I disagree, if the information is relevant ( and the diamond
stuff is ) then it belongs in the story. If it is irrelevant
but interesting and doesn't detract from the story ( say a
few paragraphs or a setup for the future. ) then it does no
real harm to the story and might help a slow section along.
Only if it is taking over the story ( say a whole chapter
dedicated to "how to sell diamonds for a profit )
then it is excessive and needs to be trimmed or removed.

Mmm, I tend to agree, which is why I added the codicil that if he *was*
planning on doing something with the info, then he should feel free to leave
it in. It really is hard to tell, from a reader's standpoint, anyway, what
is and what isn't extraneous info in a serialized fanfic, since there's no
way for the reader to tell until the story is done what was and what wasn't
important. As I mentioned in my (brief) review, Mr. Granberry has been known
to pull one out of his hat in the past, so I trust that he has a reason for
the digression. Knowing him, it'll turn out to be significant, so I *have*
filed the info away in the old memory banks, just to be safe. :)

Dave Menard


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