Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C][Xover][Ranma][Ah! My Goddess!] Young At Heart
From: "Thermopyle" <Thermopyle@tds.net>
Date: 5/23/2002, 11:58 PM
To: "Michael A Chase" <mchase@ix.netcom.com>, "FFML" <ffml@anifics.com>



----- Original Message -----
From: "Michael A Chase" <mchase@ix.netcom.com>
To: "Thermopyle" <Thermopyle@tds.net>; "FFML" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 23, 2002 9:46 PM
Subject: [FFML] [C&C][Xover][Ranma][Ah! My Goddess!] Young At Heart



Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Thu, 23 May 2002 20:39:40 -0500 Thermopyle <Thermopyle@tds.net> wrote:


She noticed Belldandy was standing on the table the other two were
sitting at, quietly watching them talk.  Apparently she was content to
let them figure out how to solve this situation.

This confused me at first since I didn't notice anything earlier indicating
that Belldandy was shrunken.  The first other indication I found was when
she was on the counter directing Keiichi in the kitchen.

True.  Forgot to mention it at some point beforehand.  Actually, there's not
any more warning for that than there is for the Skuld being grown bit.  I'm
trying to decide whether I should put a very brief summary of the situation at
the beginning of the fic, or if I should try to mention a few details in the
story itself.  I'm not seeing any obvious spots to put those details in,
though.  >_<

He pulled back around the corner and into the hallway, focusing on
making himself invisible, since he must have slipped and let the
Umisenken go {on : by} accident.  He quickly made his way to the door and
exited, then jumped silently onto the roof in case anybody tried looking
for him, which he was sure they would.  Even an outcry of intruders from
a midget would be looked into by anybody halfway sensible.

...it's 'by', not 'on'?  I've always said 'It was on accident.' or 'He did it
on accident.', etc.  'by accident' sounds really weird to me.  Maybe it's
regional?  Or am I just messed up here?

This does look interesting.  I suspect they will find Ranma in the furo.

You think so?  ^_^;

I've already fixed all the errors you pointed out, including the on/by thing,
although I may change that back.  I'll try to figure out how to fix the whole
miniature Belldandy thing, without just dropping a summary straight into the
fic.  That might be necessary, but I'd hate to have to do it.  It'd just
interrupt the flow of things too much for my tastes.  >_<

Anyway, thanks for the comments!


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