And part two... woot. I'm not this fast, I actually read and did edits on
vacation so this is just the time it takes me to transcribe them to. Didn't
read nearly as many fics as I intended to, but this one roxs!
-----Original Message-----
From: Brian Randall [mailto:brian@azurite.org]
Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 3:50 AM
To: Innocent Bystanders
Subject: [FFML] [Ranma/Tenchi/Sailor Moon]Process of Elimination --
Chapter Fifteen -- Part Two
***
"What lady?" Yakumo asked, frowning, one hand on his rifle.
"Strange lady in a white dress with blonde hair who called me
'Higurashi-sama'," he said, shaking his head. "Why?"
"Oh, fuck," Yakumo said quietly. "Um, I thought it was just dreams
and
didn't mean anything."
KP: Fuck is right! First it takes them forever to tell Ranma about the
prophecy, and now it takes days for them to tell him about the dreams!
"Yeah," Ryu admitted, stumbling backwards at the sheer number of
reavers
surrounding them.
"Get back to the line," Ryouga managed, grabbing Ryu and pulling him
out
of the way of another lashing claw. Ignoring the boy's shouts of
protest, Ryouga hurled with all his might, launching Ryu towards the
line of defenders. The reavers wouldn't hurt him, he knew. The ki of the
shishi houkodan would keep them from moving near him.
KP: If you intend to use manage as a speech modifier, I think you need to
be more explicit in what he managed, in this case 'managed to say'. I know
it's supposed to be implied, but I don't think it should be in writing.
"Save it," Yosho's voice advised him, the man setting Ryouga down
behind
the line of defenders. "There's too much battle left for you to throw
yourself away right now." The old man whooped a sudden bark of laughter,
and shook his head. "If I'm not allowed to die here, neither are you!"
KP: You tell him Yosho!
***
The foremost claws rose, outlining a crude oval between them, and
Washuu
could only wonder at her uncontrollable compulsion to stare, unmoving.
Between the claws, woven of pure blackness, something was forming. Flat,
roughly circular, and slowly growing. A portal, she realized distantly.
KP: COOL!
A familiar sound echoed then, her vision nothing more than the
infinite
blackness, but the sound cutting through from beyond it. It rang
sharply, then again, then three more times, 'snicker-snack'.
KP; 'snicker-snack'???
Her hand dropped to her side, as the reaver's claws fell, no longer
attached to the reaver itself. The compulsion lessened, but she could
not back away. Ranma's voice reached her, even though her eyes remained
firmly trained on portal before her. "So this is what it's all about,"
he mused quietly. "This is what everything that was done to this world
was done for. Tokimi wants you, Washuu."
KP: Destroy a world to regain a sister... God, Ranma knows how to break
news lightly>_<
"Who is Tokimi? Ranma, I don't understand--"
"Do you suppose that she'd be willing to make the reavers go away if
I
gave you to her?" he asked.
KP: O_O
Washuu blinked rapidly, not completely understanding what Ranma was
talking about. His hand passed into her field of vision, fingertips
carefully wiping tears from her face. The glow of green light from the
gem in his wrist sent a tremor of fear through her. "Stop this, Ranma!"
she insisted, still captive. "You're scaring me!"
KP: Me too. All the countless killing and Death if Washuu had gone home
with that doctor in OVA 9 was it?
Washuu's eyes flew open at that, staring at the portal in shock.
Ranma's
hands were before her, palms towards the portal, and golden ki-flame
sprang from them, seeming to ignite within the inky void. Green and blue
streamers of raw power writhed about the outer edge of the portal as it
began to waver unsteadily. "Ranma?" she asked, surprised.
He said nothing, merely grabbing her tightly, and leaping backwards,
off
the cliff's edge. "I'm here," he said tiredly, the cliff's face
whistling past them as their descent slowed slightly.
"Don't... don't let me go," she said, slumping as control of her
body
returned to her. Glancing upwards, she saw a flash of light from where
the portal had been, followed by an echoing explosion. "What... what was
that?"
KP: This passage so far was breath-taking. I can't use superlatives
because they come off hollow, to my ears at least; but; this was just
magnificent!!!!
***
After gathering the former crew of Maintainer Shiname's platform
onto
Saryu-oh and giving them a crash course in Ginraii rescue procedures,
Yohito awaited order from Genoh, sitting idle while the other ships
steadily continued the evacuation. The other ships proceeded in cautious
sweeps, slowly spiraling in towards one of the large landmasses in the
southern hemisphere. 'Australia', the natives called it.
KP; is it 'awaited orders from'?
Once he had verified that Kohito was safe, Yohito found the job far
more
boring than he would have liked to admit, and drummed his fingers
against the console before him. More large Galaxy Police ships would be
arriving shortly, and he would have to greet them -- along with the
Galaxy Police craft that was in convoy with him. Detective Kuramitsu was
something of a legend, though Yohito had only actually spoken with her
cadet, so he was confident that any difficulties could be easily managed.
KP; Heh. Legend. Heh.
***
Slowly pulling themselves together, worried at the sudden
disappearance
of the reavers, and more by the presence of the Light Hawk Wings to the
east, the army reassembled, and headed in a much more direct course
towards Jusenkyou. Kiima watched them from above, frowning. Saffron
walked with the humans, strange as that was, but Kiima was not about to
question him.
KP; the 'but' feels unnecessary.
"Lower ourselves to their level?" one asked, concern evident on his
features.
"Do not take that attitude!" Kiima yelled. "Saffron-sama fights at
the
side of those below -- are you better than him? He fights -- and dies --
for those below regularly. Are you too good to even fight?"
KP: ^_^ You tell em Kima!
"Saffron-sama," Kiima said quietly, confident that none could hear
her.
"Why are we doing this?"
KP: Is she that clueless as to the threat the reavers possess?
***
"There are those that govern me, and then, those that govern them,"
Saffron said evasively. "I wholly doubt that Tsunami-sama would be best
pleased by an action like that from me, and even then, it would
accomplish nearly nothing against the defilers."
KP: point to the winged one.
"Rei dreamed it, so I guess so," Ranma said dismissively. "But we
enough
know about it to keep it from happening, right?"
KP: enough know --- know enough.
KP: I often wonder about the purpose of prophecy, as do you. I must admit
someone in Void was mentioning that the purpose of knowing a prophecy -
especially one that is dangerous or distasteful - isn't to prevent it, but
sometimes to be able to cause it, which I think is the point here. I did
here about the ending, before I read, even if I tried not to.
KP: But anyway, great job with this, and all the other little tidbits of
foreshadowing and prophecy in this piece, even if this is the first I've
mentioned it^_^
"If we wanted to keep it from happening, yes," Saffron said quietly.
"Is
that the case?"
KP: good question, and let's bludgeon the reader if he's missed it so
far~_^ Although, I think after reading, some still miss it>_<.
***
Norris rubbed at his temples, shaking his head. "I don't know if we
can
do anymore good here," he confessed. "And that leaves me unsure what to do."
KP: 'unsure _of_ what" although it is droppable since it's speech.
Norris bit his tongue, spinning on his heel to glare at Pavel. For
his
part the lower ranking officer merely raised an eyebrow, not cowed in
the slightest. Ultimately, Norris sighed, bowing his head. "Damn it," he
cursed. "We just can't do enough. I hate this. I hate so much that we
can do so little, when so much needs to be done. I hate that we already
lost what meant most to us -- our home -- and that we have to lose
someone else's home, next. The bottom line here is that the war is
nearly over, and we've lost. I don't know if I can bear that."
KP: A very nice speech, but did he say too much? A little too much
disclosure. Taking a way a few words of clarity would add to his apparent
distress.
***
Amidst a large circle of her warriors -- though diminished from the
morning meeting -- Cologne surveyed them, frowning unhappily. "Welcome
to Jusenkyou," she said tiredly. "Don't drink the water. How are we all
holding up?"
KP: heh. "Don't drink" heh.
Slowly, hesitantly, a few of the women stood, staring at their feet
in
shame, while more remained sitting, crossing their arms over their
chests. Cologne nodded once they had sorted themselves out, and gestured
to the Marines, standing a short distance away. "Go, go with those men,
and live," she ordered. "Bring honor to our tribe, and live well."
KP: -_-;; Damn You Brian! Stop writing so well, I'm jealous!
For her part, the blue-haired woman bowed her head, blushing
brightly,
while the maces clutched in her hands trembled with the emotion she
usually hid. "I am too blessed," she whispered. "And I almost wish you
would leave, Kura-Wan, Jian-Di... but I do not have the strength to ask
you. Please forgive my weakness."
KP: -_-;; so beautiful -_-;;
"Yes," Pei-Lin admitted, taking the handkerchief from Rei and wiping
away
the last of her tears. Standing up, she dropped her maces and hugged Rei
tightly. "And Rei is a good girl, still. Pei-Lin is lucky for that, too."
KP: Wah!!! -_-;;;;;;;;;;;
***
"Why not?" Washuu asked, biting her lower lip worriedly, and
shooting a
nervous glance at the others present at the meeting. "Because the beacon
screws
with their senses. Either they think it's you, or it hides you from
them, mostly. But when that one got close enough, they can tell where
you are, right?" Ranma prompted.
Washuu shook her head. "That couldn't be it -- the one in my lab
came
just as close to me." "And there were who-knows how many layers of your
laboratory stacked on top of itself there to confuse it."
KP: Who's saying the second quote, Ranma? I think maybe some carriage
returns got deleted, my end or yours?
"I may be able to do something," Washuu said suddenly. All eyes
turned to
her, as the Galaxy Police vessel flashed a set of lights at them, and
began to rise slowly. "I can increase the power and focus of the beacon
-- I can make it show itself as being somewhere east of us. That way,
when they discern our true location, they come at us straight through
Jusenkyou. If those pools do what I've been told they do, they'll slow
them down enough to give us a good head start on running. It should take
them a few hours to figure it out, though."
KP: The last sentence feels misplaced. Either way, moving the center of
the beacon or not should gain them some time, so this little bit of
information feels... wasted.
Ranma frowned sharply, shooting a curious glance to Saffron before
dismissing it. "It's your choice," he said quietly, turning to face
Tsunami again. "But I'm not really sure that staying here is such a hot
idea."
KP: A question, wouldn't Ranma try and send Hotaru away, unless he needs
her off course, which would make sense... I guess I'll read on then!
***
"Yeah?" Ranma asked, descending towards the encampment below. "What
about
it?"
"Understand that it is a rarity, but I would call you friend, now,"
Saffron said quietly. "You are brave, and I cannot help but to approve
of your goals."
KP: ^_^;;
"Morning," Ranma offered. "Rest well?"
"Didn't sleep," Yakumo stated flatly. "But I spent a lot of time
thinking, and I'm pretty sure I know what you've got planned."
KP: O_o
***
Saffron whirled to face the creature that had flown over his head,
then
faltered, frowning. Where they had been expecting a reaver, there was
nothing more than a small piglet. It bounced against the hard turf, then
squealed balefully, and began to twitch, only taking a moment to
collapse on its side, breathing, but unblinking. "What the heck was
that?" Ryouga asked fearfully, approaching it curiously.
KP: coolness.
"It can't keep a connection with the other reavers in that body,"
Yakumo
said suddenly. "It doesn't know how to exist on its own -- it needs to
be able to speak with the minds of the others! So if they touch the
springs, they effectively die!"
KP; Damn, did they have time to prepare the jugs of water. Is there enough
to drench the world with Cursed water?
"I recognize this valley," Rei said suddenly, grabbing Hotaru's
hand, and
backing away. "This is the valley from my dream -- we can't go in there!
If we do, Hotaru will die!"
KP: ! One wonders if people applied the same logic to their lives as they
would when reading a story how different things would be?
"He's okay," Cologne said suddenly. "Just like Shampoo. Ranma, I
know
what you're doing... are you sure that this is what you want to do?"
KP: Just like _with_ Shampoo.
KP: and this is Great! G.R.E.A.T. This may be the best sequence I've read
in a long long time. You have outdone yourself! I can't remember the last
time I was glued to a story like I am right now.
"That would be nice," Ranma said quietly. "But there's not much time
left. I can feel them coming back -- quickly, too."
KP: Yes, You can scold me to your hearts desire later...
"Yes!" the woman exclaimed, her hands seizing Ranma tightly. "You
think
that if you lure them all in, you can kill them! Ranma, I'm not going to
let you throw your life away--"
KP: -_-
***
***
***
Hotaru sat across from Tsunami, shivering as a sudden... familiar...
sensation seemed to call out to her from the Silence Glaive. The weapon
that Ranma held, and yet called to her. "Oh, Ranma," she said, shaking
her head.
The Silence Glaive, a tool of death, was meant to be wielded by the
living, and when the lifeforce of its wielder was exhausted it vanished,
reforming in the hands of the proper bearer.
KP: -_-
Tsunami bowed her head, shifting slightly as Ran-oh-ki slowed,
gently
collided with Saryu-oh, and began to accelerate upward again.
"Nuku-Nuku... Nuku-Nuku loves Ranma-papa-san. Ranma-papa-san wants you
to be safe because Ranma-papa-san loves you!" she continued, tears
streaming from her eyes. "If you love Ranma-papa-san, you will let him
fight." Out of words for the moment, Nuku bowed her head, sobbing quietly.
KP: -_-;;
[End, Process of Elimination, Chapter Fifteen]
-----------------------------
Author's notes:
Thanks to The Refuge for helping me make this legible, and thank you
for
your time in reading my story.
Thank you so much for writing, it was a joy.^^
Ignore the evil disclaimer, and good luck in future endeavors, although with
this ability you possess, I doubt you'll need it.
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