Subject: [FFML] [Ranma][altverse] A Rather Silly Thought Ch 3 {DRAFT}
From: "Christopher Angel" <c_j_angel@hotmail.com>
Date: 5/20/2002, 10:11 PM
To:


I'm not sure if this chapter works or not, as I've been messing with it
on-and-off for easily more than a year.  Feedback is very welcome.  I
have some thoughts of stuff I'm considering doing with this chapter at
the end, but I'm wavering on whether to do them.

Previous parts (the two that there is) can be found at:
http://www.yggdrasil.org

*****************************

Christopher Angel Presents:

A Rather Silly Thought
Chapter 3

An Altered Destiny

A Ygddrasil Production
inspired by:

-Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi
-The Altered Destinies works of Wade Tritschler, Dreiser, and others.

***

Those denizens of Nerima who have come to know Mousse have often
commented that the young man has a peculiar way of looking at life.

Example one:  His amusing (if ultimately doomed) attempts to become
captain of the Kendo Team without actually knowing Kendo.

Example two:  His conclusion that if one young Japanese female didn't
want to date him, he'd have to defeat her first.  (Not quite so peculiar
to one purple-haired Amazon, but this was Japan, after all.)

Example three:  His belief that it was less reprehensible to have
several dozen other people beat on someone than to actually do it
yourself.

Example four:  His assumption that the reason said same purple-haired
Amazon came to Japan was because of him.

Hence, Mousse taking a good long look at Shampoo, then and charging
towards her, arms wide, crying "My darling Shampoo, you came for me!"

Now, before we continue, let us digress into the examination of another
individual's thought patterns:

One:  Creeps are to be pounded.

Two:  Girls are to be protected, especially MY girl.

Three:  That guy strikes me as a creep.

Four:  Said creep is about to try to glomp MY girl.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Ramna Saotome.  Mousse, meet Ranma's
foot...in your face.

Taking a step back, Mousse took a long look at the shoe in front of him,
and then slowly worked his gaze to the face of the individual who had
just kicked him.  "How dare you?! Who are you to keep me from my love?"

"Ranma Saotome," said teen snarled.  "And she ain't 'your love,' she's
mine, so HANDS OFF!"  He stalked forward to inflict a beating on the
other, but found his way blocked by a bokken.

"Ranma," Tatewaki said mildly, "I believe I had first rights upon the
punishment of this knave."

"No way!" Ranma protested.  "You saw what the creep tried to do to
Shamps, I can't let him get away with that!"

Tatewaki nodded his acknowledgement.  "Your actions and motivations are
most honorable and laudible.  Nonetheless, my claim upon this snake is
prior to yours and thus supercedes it."

Mousse watched the byplay in shock.  "Umm, excuse me...."

"Shaddap, creep."

"Silence, dog!"

Ranma sighed and brought up a fist.  "Jan Ken Pow you for it?"

After a moment's hesitation, Tatewaki nodded.  "Acceptable."

Several seconds later, Ranma swore. "Damnit!  I never win at Jan Ken
Pow!"

"Why do you think I found it acceptable?" Tatewaki smugly returned.
"Now please stand aside, cousin.  I have scum to smite."

Mousse gaped at the two young men.  "What is it with you people?  Don't
you realize I'm going to kill you?"

Ranma began to guffaw as he walked away, and Tatewaki smiled grimly
before stating, "You're welcome to try."

Kodachi took Akane's hand and dragged her towards the school.  "Come on,
Akane-chan, let's get out of the way so brother dear can thrash that
freak."

"But-" Akane protested.  "No one beats Mousse!  He's the best in the
school!"

"Mousse stupid blind fool," Shampoo scoffed, almost skipping along them
in cheer.  "Poet boy turn into stir fry."

***

"Shampoo said so," the amazon gloated.  "Mousse weak male.  Nothing like
Airen or even Poet boy."

Tatewaki hissed as Kodachi examined a bruise on his neck.  "Zounds!
Gently, woman."

"Do be quiet," Kodachi snapped.  "Had he thrown that blade an inch
closer, you would have bled to death on the school yard.  What were you
thinking, showing off like that?"

"I told you Mousse is pretty good," Akane said petulantly, feeling
rather put out by the developments of the day, especially Tatewaki's
relatively effortless defeat of her personal annoyance.

"Aww, don't listen to 'em," Ranma drawled smugly.  "You did great.
Punishin' the wicked and all that stuff."  He paused and frowned.  "But
what were you doing at the end?  I didn't catch the point of that last
move on his forehead with the bokken."

Tatewaki smirked in a self-satsified sort of way.  "He rather reminded
me of someone, so I took the chance to relate my impressions."

***

Nabiki puzzled over something the nurse said to her after she dragged
Mousse to the infirmary (couldn't do to have one of her favorite marks
permanently hurt, after all).  *Lu Bu?*

***

Kodachi, Shampoo, and Akane shared a confused look, while Ranma began to
snicker.  Eventually, Kodachi glared at the two boys.  "All right, you
two, let us in on it.  Who's Lu Bu?"

"Shampoo know who Lu Bu is, no get joke."

"What am I to do, cousin?" Tatewaki mock-complained.  "Such an
uneducated sister I have."

Ranma nodded sagely, his lips twiching as he tried to suppress a smile.
"No appreciation for great literature."

"Shampoo no understand how Mousse like Lu Bu.  Lu Bu was mighty warrior,
many great feat in battle."

Tatewaki nodded, but held up a finger.  "Yes, he was, but he was also a
fool, a coward, a dishonorable knave, and ultimately, was put down like
a feral beast."  He stood, and brushed off his uniform.  "Mousse strikes
me as being like Lu Bu - mighty in body, but weak in the mind and soul,"
he concluded, and walked into the school.  "Come, let us not be late for
classes.  I believe the warning bell rang whilst I was trouncing
that...person."

(1)
***

Ranma sighed.  First day in school, already he had bucket duty.  What a
wonderful omen.

"This is all your cousin's fault," Akane groused.

"Shampoo think fault belong with Mousse."

"Hey, what did Tatewaki do?" Ranma protested.  "It's not his fault those
idiots wanted to fight!"

"I always finish my fights before school!"

"Mousse to blame."

"What WAS that farce, Akane-chan?" Kodachi asked.

"That idiot Mousse wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.  After I told him
for the hundredth time I didn't want to date a pervert like him, he
decided to announce to everyone that the only way that anyone could date
me was to defeat me."

"My, how barbaric," Kodachi mused.  "Positively primitive.  It sounds
like something out of Shampoo's tribe."

"Hey!" Ranma protested.  "They don't do crap like that in Shamps tribe,
right?"

"Once did," Shampoo allowed, with a blush.  "Long time ago.  One girl
want many husband.  Very much pervert girl.  Killed by many jealous
girlfriend."

Kodachi took a breath to ask for more details, but then halted.  "No,"
she muttered, "I think I don't want to know."  She looked over at Akane.
"But then why did all those fools go along?"

"Yeah, I mean, why did everyone want to date you?" Ranma added.

"And what's wrong with me?" Akane demanded angrilly.

"Aww, I didn't mean it that way, jeez."

Shampoo nodded in agreement, and then giggled.  "Is silly.  Many cute
girl in school.  Why all chase Violent Girl?"  She frowned for a moment
and then shrugged.  "Stupid Mousse fault."

Kodachi chuckled.  "My dear Shampoo, why don't you tell us how you
really feel about him?"

"Okay," Shampoo said blandly, and then began to curse in Chinese.  It
was a rather long, involved curse, that worked its way up his ancestry
claiming many unpleasant things, working its way back down his family
tree describing more of the same, then spending a good long while
discusing his own intellectual deficiencies and genetic abmormalities,
and then finally ending on a suggestion of some very nasty places he
could go and some downright awful things he could do there.

Ranma, who understood enough Chinese to get himself into trouble,
listened to this tirade for a while and then gave a low whistle of awe.

Kodachi, who understood a good deal more Chinese than Ranma, paled and
gaped at Shampoo.

"What's she saying?" Akane asked, looking on in confusion.

Visibly flustered, Kodachi replied, "Something a polite lady should
never say...even think, really."

"You kiddin'?  A polite ANYONE!" Ranma countered.  "Jeez Shamps.
Where'd you learn to swear like that?"

"Great-grandmother teach.  Always say if going to do thing, should do it
right."

Now, it has to be said in Kodachi's defense, that she really tried her
best to resist her inclination to make her next comment.  Unfortunately,
her best wasn't quite good enough, and so she ended up arching an
eyebrow at Shampoo and saying slyly, "ANYTHING?"

The blush on Shampoo's face...and after a moment Ranma's was highly
gratifying, Kodachi decided.

***

For your approval, one Junior classroom.  One Nabiki Tendo, seated at
her desk, enjoying a box of juice.  Said box of juice was nigh-perfectly
chilled, having spent JUST enough time out of the freezer to have JUST
finished thawing out mere seconds before she decided to drink it.

"Tendo."

Hence, her displeasure on having to deal with one Mousse, who decided to
interrupt her inter-class break with one of his annoying requests.

"What do YOU want, underclassman?"  Nabiki was quite pleased with the
combination of weariness, disdain, and annoyance she managed to fit into
those five words.  A wad of yen was dropped on her desk.  Her eyes wide
with surprise, Nabiki reached out to grab the yen, only to have Mousse's
hand cover it.

"Information," Mousse growled.  "Who were those two men?  Why did one
call my Shampoo his girl, and why did the other one fight with me?"

Nabiki noted with amusement the name 'Lu Bu' was still bruised into his
forehead.  It had been well worth the effort to dig up the obscure
reference and deduce the insult intended.  She idly wondered if Mousse
understood it as she answered, "Ranma and Tatewaki Saotome; Ranma and
Shampoo are married, from what I understand; and I'm guessing Tatewaki
things you're scum, but you could always ask him."  She pointed over at
the young man who was busy discussing catch-up material with the
teacher.

Mousse paled, and his hand shook as he lifed it off the money, which
Nabiki snatched up.  "Married," he echoed in a dazed monotone.  "I see.
Thank you, Tendo."  With that, he walked out of the classroom, shutting
the door behind him.

Nabiki stared at the door with a somewhat worried heart.  Mousse was not
known as the most stable of people, and she was concerned he might do
something drastic.  Her thoughts continuted in that vein until a tap on
her desk took her attention.  "Pardon me, Nabiki Tendo."  She looked up
to see the frowning face of Tatewaki.

"Did mine eyes deceive me, or was that the same sub-human idiot I
vanquished earlier this morn?"

"If you mean Mousse, yes, that was him.  He wanted to know who you and
your cousin was."

Tatewaki frowned and nodded.  "Did you inform him of the matter of last
evening?"

It took Nabiki a moment to figure out what he was talking about.  "Oh
no, Saotome-chan, I'm not going to have that join the rumor mill."

"And my brother's status?" he prompted.

Nabiki shrugged.  "I told him they were married," she responded, and
then a sneaking suspicion came upon her.  "Did Ranma..."

"Yes, my cousin was rather hoping to keep it under wraps, as the average
high-school student is not the most understanding of people," he
confirmed, and frowned.

"I'll see what I can do about damage control."  Inwardly, she cursed
herself for giving away information that was infinitely more valuable
hidden.

"RANMA SAOTOME, YOU DIE THIS DAY!"

Nabiki stared at the door in alarm.  "Oh no."  Tatewaki sighed and went
to his seat.  "Aren't you going to do anything?!" she demanded.

"Why?" Tatewaki returned.  "Cousin Ranma is more than capable of
handling that cretin."  He paused, and then with a somewhat pained
expression, asked "Saotome-chan?"

***

Shampoo sighed.  She was never one to be patient, and this stupid waste
of space teacher was trying what little she had.  "Shampoo say one more
time," she growled.  "Not going to special class."

"Young lady," the teacher primly, adjusting her classes down on her nose
by the temple, "Your grasp of the Japanese language is deplorable."

"It no bad for 3 week learning!  Shampoo want see you learn Chinese so
good that quick!"

"None the less..."

Ranma wandered up and tapped Shampoo on the shoulder.  "Hey Shamps,
what's the problem?"

"It's none of your business, young Saotome," the teacher snapped, only
to find herself on the receiving end of a glare fierce enough to strip
paint and scorch the wood beneath it.

"I'm gonna beg ta diff-"

Ranma's statement was interrupted by the sound of the classroom door
slamming open, revealing Mousse, the fury boiling off of him.

"Saotome," he hissed.  "For daring to hurt my Shampoo, for daring to
claim her hand....I'LL KILL YOU!"  With that statment, he charged
towards surprised Ranma, ready to strike a killing blow with the claws
that suddenly appeared in his hands.  He flew towards Ranma like a
eagle, screaming his killing cry...

...only to run into the knuckles of Shampoo's fist in much the same way
said eagle would slam into the ground, a.k.a. with a sickening thud.
"Stupid Mousse!"

"Shampoo!" Ranma barked.  "Stay outta my fights!"

"Is no your fight! Stupid Mousse always bother Shampoo even when young!"

"Hey, if I wasn't allowed to butt in on that fight of yours with that
crazy Perfume chick back in the village, you ain't allowed to mess in my
fights now!"

Shampoo took a breath to argue further, but was surprised to hear an
exasperated sigh from the teacher.  "One of THEM," she grumbled.  "I
should have known.  All right, young lady.  No special classes, then,
just please try to keep the damage to the building to a minumim?"

Poleaxed, Shampoo stared at the woman in shock. "Why you change mind?"

Packing up her papers, the teacher grimaced.  "The principal gives
special consideration for martial artists in this district," she
explained, and began to walk out of the room.  "Why do you think young
Mousse and young Miss Tendo over there would haven't been expelled for
violence a long time ago?"

The young lady in question flushed.  "Those perverts attack ME!"

"So you say," the teacher responded with a condescending tone.
"Saotome, Shampoo, if you must fight with young Mousse here, please do
it outside."  With that, the teacher swept out of the room.

Shampoo shrugged, picked up Mousse' comatose body, and flung him out the
window.  After a moment, there was a splash and outraged shout as Mousse
landed on a student impact in the pool below.  Several students ran to
the window to see the myopic boy float around.

"Good thing there was a pool, wasn't there?" Kodachi asked Shampoo
blandly.

"Cool, thanks," Ranma cheered, and jumped out the window.  He seemed to
hang in the air for a moment, as Kodachi's words percolated through his
brain.  "Waitasec... POOL?!  AAAAGH!  Why meee-"  Ranma's further words
were cut off by his impact in the pool.

Shampoo went to the window and looked down at her (now female) husband
and the unconscious Mousse, and began to mutter under her breath in
Chinese.  Akane and Kodachi walked up and looked down as well.

"What an idiot," Akane scoffed. "Jumped right into the pool.  There goes
his secret."

As they watched, Ranma crawled out of the pool and hurried off into the
bushes before anyone could get a good look at her.  The lifeguard used a
handy hook to lever Mousse out of the water.

Shampoo began to curse louder, becoming quite eloquent in her insistence
that her husband was a moron.  Kodachi looked sideways at her and said
with am amused tone.  "I believe the exact phrase you're looking for is
'Ranma no baka'."

Shampoo paused, and mouthed the words silently.  "Ranma no baka," she
said experimentally.  "Shampoo think she like that."  She gave a most
heartfelt sigh.  "Now Shampoo miss more class getting hot water for
stupid airen."

"Why Shampoo, I thought you loved him?" Kodachi said slyly.

"Shampoo does.  No change fact he no swiftest arrow in quiver."

***

"Everywhere I go," Ranma griped, "the kami find some kinda way to make
cold water find me.  Must be some kinda riot to them."  The young
martial artist sat on the lowest branch of a somewhat secluded tree,
wringing the water out of her pants.

"There ancient saying Shampoo taught when very young: 'Look before
leap.'"

Looking down to the base of the tree, Ranma saw his wife glaring up at
him.  "Aww jeez.  I ain't had a good fight for weeks, I was gettin'
antsy.  Can ya really blame me?"

A falsely innocent look came onto Shampoo's face.  "Aiyah, if Airen so
sure of self, then Shampoo guess Airen no want hot water, then."  She
dangled a kettle on her finger.  Ranma's eyes lit up and she hung from
the tree by her legs, and reached for the kettle which Shampoo kept
carefully out of reach.

"You're the best, Shamps...aww, come on, gimme."

"You listen to Shampoo.  Be very careful around Mousse, he very
dangerous fighter."

Ranma looked at her in shock, and fell off the branch face first,
hitting the ground with a numbing thud.  The Amazon sighed at her
husbands antics and poured the hot water on him; then blushed as she
realized that while the chinese shirt Ranma affected was like a dress on
his female form, it fit rather differently on his male form.  *Shampoo,
you are one LUCKY girl.*

Rolling on his back, Ranma looked up at Shampoo's face and discovered
the most extraordinary thing - somehow, the girl was able to leer with
only a raised eyebrow and innocently widened eyes.  Following her gaze,
he looked down and saw...

...well, himself.  (This isn't that kind of work, my friends.)

"Jeez!" he yelped, and drove for his pants.  He dressed with a speed
that amazed - and to tell the truth, disappointed - Shampoo.  "Can't ya
get that offa yer mind?"

"Shampoo think Airen not know what he missing."

"That's the whole point," Ranma retorted, and then added, "And YOU
better not know what I'm missing either!"

With a sigh, Shampoo muttered, "My Airen is big prude."

Ranma wrung some water out of his hair, and then leaned against the
tree.  "Jeez.  What a day.  I didn't even get ta fight that Mousse guy,
an' he looked like he had some cool moves.  He woulda been fun ta spar
with."

"Spar?!" Shampoo gasped.  "Mousse try kill you!"

With a grin, Ranma cheerily responded, "That's half the fun!"

Shampoo sighed and shook her head.  "Shampoo no really worried about
you.  Shampoo worried about other student.  Mousse blind like bat.
Before he leave Shampoo home he hurt very many by accident."

"What a moron," Ranma remarked, and then shrugged.  "Che.  I'm going
home."

"Airen," Shampoo said softly, and reached out her hand towards Ranma's
face...

***

Tatewaki frowned as he listened to the teacher.  He didn't quite
comprehend the mathematics being taught right now, and was hoping that
he might have an epiphany to make up for the months of classes he had
missed.  He was about to raise his hand to ask yet another question
when...

"OWOWOWOWOW! Damnit, leggo my ear!"

"Shampoo no have stupid Airen!  Airen go to class!"

"Aww jeez, do I have to?  I'm bored!"

"You go!"

"Alright! Jus' leggo!"

Tatewaki listened to the exchange between the pair as it echoed through
the building.  A moment later, he joined the rest of the class at the
windows to the hall and watched the couple's receeding backs.  He put
his hand to his face and massaged the brige of his nose with a sigh,
then returned to his desk.

"Saotome-chan?"

"I request that you cease calling me that, Nabiki Tendo."

"Not happening anytime soon, Saotome-chan.  That was Ranma and Shampoo,
wasn't it?"

"I am unfortunately forced to confirm that."

"I hate to point this out, but your cousin is whipped."

Tatewaki sighed again.  "That he is."

***

"So boy, you made a decision yet?"

Tatewaki looked up towards his uncle for a moment, and then returned to
looking at the koi pond in the Tendo's yard from his seat on the grass.
"This is not a decision to be made lightly, Ojiisan.  I don't even know
the maidens yet," he paused and sadly added.  "Also, mine curse likely
repulses them as much as it does my family."  He looked over at the
corner of the yard where Ranma and Shampoo were rough-housing and
sighed.

Genma laughed and slapped the young man on the back.  "Boy, you need to
spend a few minutes in front of a mirror.  Your curse isn't so bad, all
you need to do is keep your mouth shut."  He sat down beside Tatewaki
and stared out into the yard for a moment and watched his son and
daughter-in-law spar/play/fight.  "How did school go?" he finally asked,
avoiding the question he really wanted to ask.

A chuckle was the initial response.  "As Ranma would say, 'same old',"
Tatewaki smiled and looked over to the couple again.  "I envy my cousin,
Ojiisan.  Shampoo is exactly what he needs in a partner."

Genma grunted.  "Not exactly what I planned for the boy," he muttered
and then stood to head back into the house.  "Nodoka's going to kill
me."

Tatewaki frowned at this, but kept his silence.

***

(1) Okay, for those who didn't get this, go read The Romance of the
Three Kingdoms....expect to take a while, it's no short read.
http://threekingdoms.com

*****************************************

Thoughts:
1) More school scenes?  I dunno.  I want to get things going, but I'm
not sure if I'm moving too fast.
2) Tack on a Tatewaki/Kasumi WAFF scene at the end?
3) More scenes about Ranma/Shampoo?  The story's supposed to get off
them for focus now that I've established their relationship.

Thanks,

---
Christopher Angel
http://www.yggdrasil.org

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