I could only do ONE SCENE from Romeo and Juliet (yes, the EASIEST AND MOST
CLICHED SHAKESPEARE PLAY EVER) before the whole thing fell apart at the
seams.  To whoever can complete this, kudos to you.



(Scene: a crowded street in Nerima.  Hiroshi and Daisuke are out walking
around, as are Tsubasa and Konatsu.  They unknowingly approach each other
along the same street.  Finally, they notice each other, and as they wearily
pass, Tsubasa bites his thumb at the other pair of secondary Ranma
characters.)

Daisuke: Do you bite your thumb at me...(looks the other over for a second
before guessing)...sir?

Tsubasa: I do bite my thumb, sir.

Daisuke: Do you bite your thumb at us...(takes another look at Tsubasa, then
looks over Konatsu.  Finally, he just shrugs and continues)...sirs?

Tsubasa: (Aside to Konatsu) Is the law of our side if I say aye?

Konatsu: No. 

Tsubasa: (Back to Daisuke) I do not bite my thumb at you, sirs, but I do
bite my thumb, sir.

Daisuke: Do you quarrel, sir?

Tsubasa: Quarrel, sir?  No, sir.

Daisuke: But if you do, know that I serve as good a man as you.

Tsubasa: No better?

Daisuke: (Becomes nervous and hesitates)

Hiroshi: (Spying Ryoga approaching from their rear and asides to Daisuke)
Say better!  Here comes  one of my master's kinsmen!

Daisuke: Yes, better!  (Backs off a step)

Tsubasa: You lie!  Fight, if you be men!  (Takes up a battle stance as
Konatsu does the same behind him)

Ryoga: (Spies what is going on and hurries over.)  Part, fools!  You know
not what you do!  (Wearily approaches in a ready stance as he tries to
defuse the situation)

Nabiki: (Steps out from behind a car parked close to the confrontation)
What?  Art thou outmatched among these heartless hinds?  Turn thee, Ryoga,
and look upon thy death.  (Assumes a ready stance and beckons Ryoga on.)

Ryoga: (Wearily) I do but keep the peace.  Put up thy fists, and manage them
to depart these men with me.

Nabiki: (Sneers) Peace?  I hate the word.  As I hate hell, all Saotomes, and
thee.  (Attacks Ryoga.)

Ryoga: (Looks on as Nabiki clumsily tries to fell him.  He doesn't even move
as she beats ineffectively against him with her fists)  Umm...Nabiki?
You're not a martial artist.  (Looks around in sudden realization, and then
tries to cover for himself)  Umm...I mean...eth...Thou art not a martial
artist, art thou...eth?

Konatsu and Tsubasa: (Look over from where they stand over the prone and
bleeding forms of Hiroshi and Daisuke) Nor were these vandals, wethinks.

Nabiki: (Groans and shakes her head) This just isn't going to work.




So that's that.  Whoever can do this, props to you and yours.  I'm going to
curl up into the fetal position and let my brain recover.



A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies

Humanity: A Haiku
Tiny floating leaf
Calmly floating on water
Under mushroom clouds

"Never apologize for what you are"
          -DJ Croft, from "Neon Exodus Evangelion" by Benjamin D. Hutchins
and Larry Mann

"Remind me never to say _anything_ at all. Ever."
          -Misato Katsuragi, from "Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut" by Andrew
Huang

-----Original Message-----
From: LS McGill [mailto:lsmcgill@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, May 17, 2002 8:01 AM
To: ffml@anifics.com
Subject: [FFML] [R.5/Shakespeare][Challenge]


Fine, challenging idea?

Rewrite any play of Shakespeare with the cast of Ranma as 
primary players in a modern context, ala Ten Things I Hate 
About You/The Taming of The Shrew.

Ranma must be one of the romantic leads, Akane must the 
other.  Whether Ranma is the female or male lead is up to you.

The rest of the Nerima crew must be cast appropriately to 
character in the original play.  Additional anime cast is 
relegated to minor roles.  All major players must be Ranma cast.

And if you want an additional challenge, use Shakespeare's 
original dialogue.

Anyone feeling up to that level of masochism?

Lance.  


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