Hotaru gulped. How would she keep her secret? What would they do? She
was
not ready for this! Hotaru sniffed and looked down. What could she say
without damning herself? "Err... I think so."
um. why doesn't she blame it on setsuna?
"eh? those pregnancy tests were setsuna's! i told her not to sleep with
mamoru! darn it!"
"what pregnancy tests?"
Funny, but no. ; )
Haruka eyes narrowed and started drilling into Hotaru, "Like you 'kind
of'
forgot to use protection?"
Hotaru. "Like you 'kind of forgot' to use... --need that
closing...thingy.
whatever it's called. ' <--that! yeah!
I did, it just looks like part of the 'f' (see, it did it again!)
"Even if you got married you would have to drop out of school, and if he
didn't your reputation would be ruined. You would be thought of as no
better
then those little sluts who whore themselves at the bars downtown! Well
Hotaru, you want to end up like them?"
Well, Hotaru, you...
This is really waaaay too harsh, imo. I can't see Haruka acting quite
like
this. I haven't seen or read SM, but I still can't see it. ^_^;
She's rabidly pissed. : )
Ranma rolled his eyes and reached into his shirt. "I don't smoke
neither,"
he said as he lit up a cigarette with burst of Ki.
smoke, either," --not sure if neither works. believe it'd still need the
comma, though.
neither works because it's language... and we all know how sloppy ranma's
speach is :)
Ryouga shook his head, "Don't be an idiot Saotome. That is not your
choice.
You're not going to chicken out on this one, cause I you do I WILL KILL
YOU!"
idiot, Saotome.
cause if you do, I WILL... blah blah blah. ^_^;
this is STILL Ryouga...
"Come on, P-chan," said Ranma as he jumped to his feet but was stopped
by
Ryouga's hand on his shoulder.
what? see ya, or follow me? which is it?
Rewrite leftovers.
"No way Ranma, I will not be letting you out of my sight. I'm going to
be
you conscience. You do something wrong and I'll send you to hell."
way, Ranma, I...
I don't get this. Ranma has made his decision, and one that Ryouga agrees
with, so why would Ryouga follow him around? Doesn't make sense.
Ryouga still does not exactly trust ranma. He is going to tail him until he
sees proof.
Hotaru nodded and spent the entire walk crying on her best friend's
shoulder. When they arrived, Chibi-Usa sat down on a benched and
motioned
for Hotaru to sit next to her.
That's an awkward way to walk. Oh, wait... *looks at the title*
I ment it methaphorically. (SP)
"I... I was hoping that I was just sick... that my period was just
late... I
did not want to face the truth."
didn't want to face it. --w/o contractions, some of this stuff sounds too
stilted. also, 'face the truth' sounds kinda lame.
Any ideas?
Ranma gulped as he pressed the doorbell of his childhood home. Now he
had to
talk with his mother. While Ryouga gave him some ideas, and an
'incentive'
to do the right thing, I would be he mother who had the greatest say
about
his fate. She would know what would preserve honor.
BWAAHAHAHAHA!
er, sorry.
^_^
> Eh... so, is Setsuna surprised, or isn't she? Her reaction to the phone
call
makes it seem like she wasn't expecting it, but the 'it's all going
according
to plan' bit earlier is rather contradictory to that...
*winks and waves his finger* That, is a Secret!
*Therm smacks Sam.*
"Give me chapter four!"
*Waits a minute, then smacks Sam again.*
"Give me chapter four, infidel!"
Repeat.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.RepeatRepeatRepeatREpeatREPEAT.
^_^;
soo... on to the next chapter! whenever it gets here, anyway...
Hey! I'm not that slow! Now sit down and shut up! ; )
Thanks for the C&C, I'll put it to good use. Have a nice one! : )
-Sam
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