--- Andrew Painter <sanjiyan@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:

Heres chapter 1 of my Ah! My Goddess, Self Insert.

C&C may be accepted or ignored at your discretion. 

somehow Father, The All Mighty

Personal hot button, here. There is not a shred of
evidence in the manga, OVAs or movie that Kami-sama is
the father of the goddess sisters. Circumstantial
evidence in the manga suggests that he is not.
However, both Animeigo and Studio Proteus (Dark Horse)
have mistranslated "Kami-sama" to "Father", so I
suppose it's understandable that others would do the
same. It is not impossible that he is the father, but
if he is, then from the evidence in the manga he's
either both wishy-washy and darn lucky or else he's
AMG's version of Gendo Ikari. 

If he is not their father, then he's either both
wishy-washy and darn lucky or else he's a shrewd
administrator and manipulator.

I felt Urd again start pulling me towards the end of
the hallway to a young lady sitting down at a wooden
desk, nothing was out of the ordinary when you
looked at this young lady sitting at the desk,
unless you counted the fact that she had these
beautiful large white feathery wings protruding from
out of her back. 

Heavenly architecture and furniture is anything but
ordinary. Think about what you saw in the movie (if
you've seen it) or look at the just-completed "Mystery
Child" story arc in Dark Horse. The desk would most
likely be futuristic, probably floating along with the
comfortable chair the lady was seated at. Or, better
yet, just drop the description of the desk and let the
reader imagine what they will.

�Right then, at least that�s one good thing about
this whole mess you have made, and that�s that you
powers are restricted and limited for the time
being, I am annoyed though that a new person like
you has the same power levels of my sister
Belldandy, and yet more powerful then my own, 

I can definitely see Urd being annoyed, probably more
concerned, though, here. As for the power level thing,
this is a common misconception (even though it's
explained TWICE in the early manga). 1st class status
is not based upon power level alone. Goddess 2nd class
Urd is much more powerful than goddess 1st class
Belldandy. What Urd lacks is a high level of control,
and she lies a lot. Those two things are what has kept
her at 2nd class level, even though she's more
powerful in absolute terms than (sealed) Belldandy or
Peorth. 

sounds
like Father has big plans for you in a few months
time when your used to your new station, and what�s
this about a angels egg?!? You wont be able to
control a angel at this time, you wont have the
powers to do so.� She said in a tone that sounded
like she was not too pleased with the outcome of my
meeting with Kami-sama.

�The angel or angels� egg is Father�s orders, and
what do you mean by, by me not being powerful enough
to control an angel? If control is normally needed
then I am glad I don�t have that, it�s not right for
me to control anyone�s actions in that way.� I say
matter of factually.

It's understandable that your character would feel
this way at first, but he's only saying this because
he has no concept of the relationship between an angel
and its host. Angels are an extension of the self, a
mirror of the soul. They are not a separate
personality like a dog (well, maybe if the host were
schizophrenic). The control one exercises over an
angel is also control over oneself. The power required
to control an angel comes with the ability to control
ones own power. (Gee, I'm sounding like Belldandy
here! ^_^; ) Refusing to control ones angel is
essentially refusing to exercise self control, since
the angel will do what you want done whether
consciously or not, and that could be a problem - as
Skuld found out with Noble Scarlet. Still, even a
rogue angel must obey its host whenever the host gives
a direct order.
 

With that comment she turns a lovely shade of red,
and angrily says �Let�s go�. You will know soon
enough, what I meant by that and you will regret it
too.�

Urd would more likely be concerned, just as she was
after Skuld stole the angel egg from her and produced
Noble Scarlet. If she didn't get red in the face over
that, she wouldn't do it here.

Brian W.

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