Subject: [FFML] Re: [Spamfic][Ranma] Every End, A New Beginning
From: Jim Miller
Date: 5/15/2002, 1:29 AM
To: Mark Gunther , FFML@anifics.com


--On 5/14/02 5:55 AM -0400 Mark Gunther wrote:

Title: Every End, A New Beginning
Author: S. Mark Gunther

     I'm not ready to become a father. Shit, I barely am able to take
care  of myself from day to day! Sure I dress well, work hard, maintain a
tidy and  well-kept house but my internal life is a fly by night, no
strings attached  kind of life.

...

     "Feeling nervous, Mousse?" Nabiki said softly, her hand intertwined 
with his and adorned with a small diamond ring.

This seems incongruous to me.  A "no strings attached kind of life" isn't
one with an engagement in my book. :-) IMHO, it would make the story
stronger if Mousse wasn't engaged to Nabiki.  She can be there as a friend
for moral support, or she may even love him unrequitedly, but having them
engaged breaks build up that's gone before.  At least for me.  At first I
assumed she was wearing a ring because she was engaged to someone else! :-)

Apart from that, it's a nice, well written, enjoyable piece.  I'd call it a
shortfic, but not a spamfic.  Thanks for sharing it.

Jim

-- Jim Miller whonk@xinu.nu .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----. | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'