At 7:51 PM -0400 8/5/2002, Django Wexler wrote:
And, finally. It took long enough. Here's the end of SM: Gray, and the
epilogue.
Once again: any comments, particularly bad ones, are appreciated.
And bravo! This has been one of the best SM fanfics to hit the FFML in
some time, and frankly it's deserved a lot more C&C that it's gotten.
(Public C&C, at least.)
Fifteen chapters without a hitch, and you brought it all to a tidy --
and above all satisfying -- conclusion. Well done.
And for those of you who like this sort of thing, I'll probably get
around to posting the first chapter of SM: End of Days sometime after
all my final papers get done. (Cheery Title!) This'll be a direct
sequel - its dark and fun, a bit experimental, etc. Please tell me
anything you hated in Gray, so I can do less of it! And if there are
any unresolved questions, let me know.
It will certainly be interesting to see where you take a sequel. Now
that the senshi have begun to fragment, can the remaining seven survive
as a team? Possibly not ... I was quite struck by the way, once Usagi
turned Rei away for refusing to stop fighting, Usagi herself became
more or less irrelevant and disappeared from the story.
Hmm ...
Technically, there's not a lot I can say. (Meaning, technically this is
very good.) There are a few places where you appear to have multiple
line breaks where there should only be one. A few places where you've
missed a quotation mark, though the only one I noticed in this chapter
was:
"Fine, fine. He made his way into the kitchen, muttering. "Just
because she blew herself to bits, she makes me do all the work..."
Should be a closing quote after "fine."
In summary ... a good story, well-told. I'll look forward to whatever
you write next.
Cheers,
Angus