Wee. Wanted to get to this:

Sketches of Tenchi 11:  Those Who Hunt Mihoshi

Cool. Is she going to be stripped to see if she has part of the magical
tattoo inscribed on her body? *Drool*

    A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE fanfic
Usual lime warning applies, partly for vocabulary.

Should have put it in the subject line then. :P


"You said that Mihoshi is considered a hero of

sorts on her home planet.  Surely her people wish her well?"

"Most people, yes," returned Kiyone.  "But there are always a
few obsessive nutcases."  Kiyone opened her mouth as if to say
more,

primarily the words, 'like me.' but it wouldn't do to tip her hand just yet.
Mihoshi's death had already been planned for. All she needed now was
patience.

but then closed it again.

"Surely anyone obsessed with Mihoshi would have given up by now,
or followed her off-planet?"

"Most Daikyouans can't bear to leave the beach long enough to
go off-planet.

Heh. I like it.

Shortly the Tsunami

Not sure if you really want 'the' there. Never really heard her referred to
like that.

 was in standard orbit around Mihoshi's home

planet of Daikyou.  Remembering what he'd heard about Mihoshi's
home planet and its beaches, Tenchi peered closely as the planet
rotated.  It appeared that the entire surface of Daikyou
consisted of very long, narrow, winding islands, separated by
narrow seas, bays, and inlets.

"They designed it to maximize the amount of beachfront property,"
noted Washuu, standing to Tenchi's left.

Works for me.

"Ultraviolet overload," agreed Ed, floating horizontally above
Tenchi.

Heh. Now Ed, we can't forget. Nice semi-fusion there.

"And they spend all that time lying on the beach?" asked Tenchi,

realizing he had somehow ended up in heaven.

"Hmmm... don't know.  Wasn't there last time I saw this planet,"
said Washuu with interest.

"Ed will check," said the wide-eyed cherubic waif,

But she's a manga style charcter. They're all wide-eyed. :)

"Umm..." Tenchi glanced at the oblivious Mihoshi.  "And she
pressed the wrong button?"

"Low-yield orihalkonite explosion," Ed noted, still typing,
"matching a device in the Daikyou military's secret database
codenamed 'DragonSlayer'.  Two missing from month preceeding
radioactive-dating of crater."

Two missing what? Sounds off, but it could be I'm reading it wrong.

Ed grinning, still typing.  "Yessiree!  All-woman lunatic fringe
environmental group.  Survivors blame Mihoshi for former leader's
death in explosion which destroyed space platform."

I see she's racked up a number of enemies. And someone like Mihoshi just
doesn't kill them. :)

Tenchi groaned.

- - - - - - - - - -
For members of the royal family of Jurai, customs and immigration
formalities on Daikyou were quick and discreet.  But Tenchi and
his fiancees found out, when they exited the arrival hall, that
someone had been less discreet:  dozens of eager reporters were
waiting for them.  Many wore swimwear, a fact Tenchi found odd.

Aeka smiled condescendingly and stepped forward.  The reporters,
however, ignored Aeka, dashing past her to interview Mihoshi.
Ryouko snickered ostentatiously at Aeka's discomfort.

Heh. neat touch.

Tenchi nudged Kiyone, indicating several of the reporters towards
the back of the crowd surrounding Mihoshi.  "Is it normal on this
planet for reporters to wear cloaks which conceal their faces?
Or sunglasses and scarves over their hair?"

Heh. I can see Mihoshi trying for that as a disguise as well. I take it
she's not really that much of an exception to her race in her somewhat
straightforward approach to life? :)

Kiyone glanced at the unusually-dressed reporters.  "No.  But
that doesn't mean there'll be an assassination attempt here and
now.  More likely they're just scouting at this stage."

And she's content to let them do so?

A distinguished-looking older male reporter, grey-haired and
with a moustache, stepped to the front.  Lesser reporters gave
way before him.  "Officer Mihoshi; would you mind sharing your
plans for this visit with our viewers?"

"No, I don't mind, Warutaa!" Mihoshi chirped.  "And I'm so happy
that you don't mind interviewing me any more.

anymore (I think)

A mysterious, cloaked reporter thrust a microphone under
Mihoshi's mouth and asked, "What precautions have you taken
against assassination attempts against you or your loved ones?"

Mihoshi; Well, since I'm married to Tenchi now, I'm a bit more protective. I
suppose I would not only rip apart any assassins one limb at a time, but
also snuff out the lives of their families and anyone within a mile of them.
Or I'd just blow it off. It depends on how I'm feeling.

Washuu replied, cackling, "I'm glad you asked!

Heh. Nice touch again.

"Like this!"  Ed grinned.  She had been typing maniacally while
Washuu explained; now she turned her holographic laptop around and
displayed its screen to Mihoshi and Tenchi.  Tenchi saw an
elaborate circular pattern rather like a Buddhist mandela.

Tenchi: I must kill, the Queen of England.

Ayeka; Oh no. That 'Naked Gun' marathon did have an effect on him.

"But what happened to the 'anti-mimetic-virus refresh' she took
just yesterday?"

"Ed designed a new virus to avoid her scans!" Edward smiled in
glee.

How thoughtful.

The man smacked one fist into his palm.  "Not enough!  It'll
never be enough until we get our hands on Mihoshi Kuramitsu and
strip her naked!"

Yep. Looks like my first call was on the ball. Groovy. :)

Tenchi and the girls went out to the private beach, without
benefit of swimsuits.  Aeka and Ryouko stared enviously at the
way Mihoshi's endowments bobbed along, and the way Tenchi's eyes
seemed to continually drift in that direction.

And we get fan service too. Wee.

"Oi!  Washuu!  Why didn't you give me lighter-than-air boobs?"

Washuu; I couldn't give them to myself, and if I don't get them, there's no
way in hell you will.

Tenchi blinked twice.  Tenchi was sure that Mihoshi had no
tattoos, but now, in the strong sunlight, there appeared to be a
large marking on Mihoshi's backside.  "Mihoshi, hold still a
moment.  And could you bend forward just a bit?"

Mihoshi: You want to do it doggie style in front of everyone? How kinky,
Tenchi. Okay.

- - - - - - - - - -
Lying on the white sand in the shade of a palm tree, Tenchi
tried to ignore the sight of Aeka and Ryouko engaged in a
splash-fight in the shallows, and the sight of Mihoshi
stretching as she stood up from the sea, reveling in the sun,
droplets glistening against her firm, tan skin.  He steeled
himself against the feeling of warm pressure from Washuu and
Kiyone, cuddled against his sides.  Looking up at the clouds,
Tenchi thought aloud.

Tenchi: I need a clone. Maybe even two. Trying to put out for all of you is
tiring me so much I barely know my name.

"Do we know how many cases Mihoshi had on this planet with
loose ends of some sort?"

"I love it when you use your brains," Washuu said in a sultry
voice,

Washuu: You're so crappy at it, it makes me realize what a genious I am.

Washuu raised one eyebrow.  "A strong one?"

"Hee hee hee.  Very," Ed replied, grinning ear-to-ear.  "A
lifetime compulsion to never visit the beach."

How evil. To not be treated to Mihoshi beach style fan service is too much
for a fanboy to bear. Death to the scum that would do this:)

BTW, my apologies, but I just haven't found any grammar errors. Your style
is pretty minimal descriptivewise, and the shorter sentences flow well, so I
guess you find the tiny errors on your own. This probably isn't going to be
useful, other than to tell you what parts of the humor work and what don't
for me.

"They're Daikyouan, Tenchi.  That's the equivalent of inserting
Haisplatian Irrixiants under your toenails," replied Washuu.

"And they need to... what, catch Mihoshi and look at the tattoo on
her bottom?  In order to be able to go to the beach?

Hence the people trying to find her. Nice plot device.

Ed added, "They have to stare at it for 2.47 hours for full effect."

Tenchi: Heh. It only takes a few seconds of staring at her butt for it to
have it's full effect on me.

Washuu: What about staring at mine?

Tenchi: Oh, at least two minutes for it to have any effect.

Washuu: Oh, is that so? Just wait until I load a mimetic virus into you.
You'll be going into heat if you look at me for more than five seconds.

"By the way, Tenchi," grinned Washuu, turning on her front to face
Tenchi.  By now Sasami had drifted over, still carrying Mayuka,
who giggled as her grasping hands reached towards Tenchi.  Sasami
seated herself cross-legged near Tenchi's head and began to play
with Mayuka.  "Another matter.  Yume called me to complain about
the way you're treating Ed here."  Washuu gestured at the waif
straddling Tenchi's legs.  "Apparently she found out you aren't
sleeping with Ed yet.  She's impatient for grandchildren."

Tenchi: Tell her she can have some of my DNA to combine with Ed's and she
can produce clones or something.

"And, I assure you, Yume is fully mature by the standards of her
people.  Now, how does her body differ from Edward's?"

Tenchi: Totally different design, since Ed was done by a different artist
from our own.

Tenchi stared at Ed, trying to imagine it.  Ed didn't help by
zooming so close that she was almost nose-to-nose with Tenchi,
then giving him a huge grin with almost split her face.  "I think
the Tenchi-fiance-unit gets it.  Tenchi and Edward, sleeping in a
bed," she chanted, "doing the beast until we're dead."

Evil. Very nice too.

Tenchi swallowed nervously.  Kiyone patted his hand, clucking
in sympathy, while struggling to suppress her own urge to laugh.

- - - - - - - - - -
Mihoshi was just starting to get hungry when dinner started.  A
small rectangular portion of the beach currently unoccupied lit up
with a ghostly flame; a shimmering forcefield grill appeared above
it.  Members of two species of flying fish left the water in arcs
which landed them smack on top of the grill.  Several other fish
got up out of the sea and walked over to the grill, carrying
mollusks and a tasty array of ocean vegetable life.

Now that is convienent. I take it the fish draw lots or something.

"If you MUST know, Ryouko, those 'enhancements' of Mihoshi's
you're so envious of, and their male counterpart, count among the
'mistakes' made by this planet's bio-researchers.  They failed to
calculate how much of the available blood supply might be diverted
from the brain to support their 'enhancements',"

Ryouko: Why not just increase the amount of blood in the body to counteract
it?

Washuu: ....

Kiyone's eyes widened slightly.  She found herself smiling a bit
in spite of the situation.  "But what about..."  Kiyone gestured
in the direction of Ryouko and Aeka.  "...tonight?  They have
that look..."

"Err..." Tenchi thought quickly.  "Mihoshi, didn't you say
something about a special sake you have on this planet?  Something
Ryouko and Aeka ought not miss while they're here?"

Heh. He's learning.

Tenchi followed Mihoshi out of the curtained alcove the girls had
assigned him into the main room of Mihosh's suite.  Ryouko and
Aeka, he noted, were still snoring, propped up against each other
on a sofa.  Tenchi felt thankful that Alielle had stayed behind
on Jurai; with

Now I'm one who encourages the often underutilized semi-colon. But I'm not
sure it works here. I think two sentences might be better. I minor nit, I
assure you.

"Right.  So your mother, whom you believed to be half-way across
the galaxy, just called you to come pick her up at one of the few
spots on this planet not near a beach."  Tenchi summarized, trying
to will Mihoshi to see where he was going with this.

"That's right!" Mihoshi replied cheerily.  "So we should go!"

Ironically, Tenchi really was being paranoid and it really was Mihoshi's
mother. Proving once again no matter how well one tried to wield logic and
reason against Mihoshi, they never won in the end.

"Dear, you can't come get me; I'm halfway across the galaxy,"
gently reminded Mihoshi's mother.  "I just called to make sure you
and your guests aren't having any problems, and to meet your young
man.  Is this he?"

he or him?

Tenchi and his fiancees and daughter

Tencih, his fiancees, and daughter (works better, I think)

 hit the public beach on the

other side of Mihoshi's house.  Mihoshi, Sasami, and Ed played
beach volleyball against Aeka and Ryouko at first, while Tenchi
stayed close to Kiyone and Washuu played with Mayuka.

Later, a few well-muscled local boys showed up to challenge Aeka
and Ryouko, who'd won the first match.  Tenchi noticed, with a
little discomfort, that the local boys seemed to have a somewhat
bigger bulge in their speedo swimsuits then his own would have
been, he felt sure, if he'd been wearing a speedo.

Washuu did explain this to him.

An angry-looking Ryouko materialized above the flirting girl and
lifted her into the air by her hair.  "If you even TOUCH my
Tenchi," she growled.

Ryouko: You'll get that awful fungus from him. He's contagious, you know. It
makes vaginal yeast infections like a walk in the park by comparison, I'm
telling you.

"They're after Mihoshi!" called Tenchi in dismay, leaping to his
feet.

Actually they've already gotten her. :)

"Never happen."  Washuu yawned.

True.

"So!  You're a lesbian too, are you?" exclaimed the leader,
pointing to Mihoshi's hand.

Leader: Then we have something in common.

Meanwhile, Mihoshi found that trying to free her hands had only
caused her bare feet to wind up in unexpected places, up another
couple of bikini tops.  Fully half her kidnappers now appeared to
be out of action, judging by the way they collapsed in a heap,
pulling Mihoshi down on top.

Fan service galore. I love you, man. :)

And I would recommend the lime tag next time.

"Yes.  It is one thing to read about Daikyouan sensitivity in a
book, and quite another to watch it in action.  But even so..."

Ryouko nodded back, crossing her arms behind her back and bending
forward for a closer look.  "Mihoshi does seem to be displaying an
expert touch.  No wasted movement that I can see."

"Exerting just the right amount of pressure, too.  See there,"
Aeka pointed, "through the rip in this one's top."

Ryouko: Tenchi, you'll be sleeping with the same girls you did last night.
Aeka and I will be taking Mihoshi off your hands this evening.

"The Planetary President herself!" Mihoshi exclaimed in glee,
clapping her hands.

Again, in a fit of irony, this was exactly the case.

"And these are pre-uplift Poohbares," chirped Mihosi, pointing to
the three brown bear-like creatures sleeping in a clearing.  "You
can tell they're pre-uplift since they're not wearing their red
neckties."

Heh.

The cloaked woman shook with rage as she pointed a shaking finger
at Mihoshi.  "Sometimes I'm a suspicious reporter.  Sometimes I'm
an explosive food vendor.  But I'm really..." The woman swept off
her cloak with a single gesture, revealing a thin-but-endowed,
scantily-clad, green-haired girl.  "...Martina Navrachova, whose
lifelong home Mihoshi destroyed!"

The two dozen high-school girls smiled nastily at Mihoshi, hands
poised to sweep off their fukus.  "Sometimes we're a group
of obviously-disguised reporters.  Sometimes we're beach bunnies
flirting with your fiance.  But we're really..."  With one
synchronized motion, the schooldresses were swept off to reveal
monochrome dresses with extremely short skirts, some bright blue,
others black, one gold.  "...the Daikyou Environmental Limits
Mobilization Organization, whose orbital headquarters and founder
Mihoshi destroyed!"

Very nice touches.

Mihoshi beamed.  "Okay!  THen,

Then

Heh. Nice fanservicy chapter. The humor worked for me in all the right
places. Look forward to seeing more, as always.

D.B. Sommer





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