Akane sobered at that thought. It had been a long time since
then. Against all odds, the girls and guys had gotten together and
decided not to fight anymore. They had more or less become tired of the
games and the chasing and the lying. They agreed to let people marry who
they wanted, and then go there seperate ways.

What lying?  Who was lying?  o_O;

Well, maybe "deceptions" would work better, I guess?

'their seperate ways'  --not there.

Yah, good point.

        "Hi honey!" Akane greeted, then gestured to Shampoo. "Look who
showed up?"

Hi, honey!

Yep again!

showed up!'  --she's not asking a question.

Heh. Will fix

        "Nihao!" Shampoo looked a little confused, but waved anyway.

         Akane's husband grunted something, then headed into the
kitchen.

        "Shampoo see that Akane likes her Airen's cursed form?" the
Amazon asked, noticed the glow on her former-rival's face.

I was so sure that this was Genma.  ^_^;

I don't even want to know why you thought that...

Akane I can understand, since she's *so* fond of P-chan, but I really don't
get why you thought Shampoo would like Mousse's duck form, when there's not
really any indication of that.  What might have been better would be to 
have
Shampoo find a nice tomcat to settle down with, having her cat-curse affect
her in human state as well as cat state.

Considered, of course, but I needed a cursed form for Shampoo. And if you 
look through the manga, doesn't it seem that Shampoo shows a bit more 
affection for the duck, than she does Mousse? Kind makes ya wonder... ^_^

Of course, then you couldn't have gone for the angle where the two 
former-guys
look at each other at the end like that.  ^_^

That was kinda the idea I had in mind as the clincher for this.

On a side note, Ranma could have ended up with Mousse's cursed form.  He 
was
awfully willing to go along with marrying duck-Akane, after all.  There 
might
have been a reason for that, ya know.  :)

As Shampoo would say, "Aiyah..."

It's an interesting suggestion, and if this fic comes back to haunt me, I 
might change it. However, the joke only works once.

         The Amazon blinked. "Akane's Airen do that to?"

that, too?

simple fix, will do.

Eh... that's the end.  Heh.  I do have to say that the bit about Ranma was 
a
bit confusing--why was he brought up?  There was no reason to mention that
Ranma wouldn't like Akane marrying P-chan, if they had already agreed to go
their seperate ways.  Ranma probably wouldn't have liked Akane marrying
anybody other than him at all, but why would that be a consideration?  He's
not the one getting married.

Yeah, Ranma wouldn't have like Akane marrying Ryoga, but in the end I 
believe he would have let her do it if that's what she wanted. And Ranma's 
so concerned with his manhood, and has enough problems being a girl, that I 
don't know if he'd go for being a pig...

Anyway, that just felt odd.  Changing it so that it was Ranma with Mousse 
and
Akane with Ryouga might have been more effective.  I can't really think of 
any
way that it would detract from the story, either.

It's a good idea, but I don't know if I'll spend much more time on this 
simple spamfic, other than fix the simple errors

*Tries to think of something else to say.*

Um... nope.  Mental blank, no more comments for you!

Sometimes a mental blank is a blessing. Look what I did *because* I had 
something in my mind...

Anyway, Thanks for the thoughts!

Brad aka Kaiphantom
www.geocities.com/kaiphantom2000

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