Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Wed, 01 May 2002 07:35:46 -0700 Brad Angell <oddball22@hotmail.com> wrote:
Thanks to Donald Lee Granberry and Graham Kemp for their efforts to
enlighten me as to the true nature of Shogi. I think there were a few
more
people who helped as well, but these two provided an informative file
and a
link to a website where I am now learning more about Shogi that I ever
wanted...
Thanks, guys. ^_^
Shouldn't that be ^_^!! ?
The ringing of a bicycle {: bell} proved that.
<The boy has used that line so many times already,> Genma
realized, frowning. <He should expect that it won't be any more
successful now then it had been before. How long will he let things go
on like this, until he {makes : takes} a stand?>
"Why not pervert-girl go away so Shampoo can spend {spend : time} with
husband? Akane never treat Ranma right, not like Shampoo!"
Either of these changes could be a matter of dialect.
Genma hid the smile that was starting to appear, as Ranma began
to show the {tatctical : tactical} thinking that the elder Saotome had driven into
him from a young age, pushing Genma back and delivering several hits.
Still, he wasn't out yet. With a mighty shove of his powerful legs, he
propelled himself into the air.
The pig-tailed girl exploded out of the water, fist extended.
Genma was nearly caught off-guard, but recovered and {attempted to leap : leaped}
back.
Or tried to.
Since you are saying 'or' in the following paragraph, attempted doesn't
fit.
Genma grunted and looked down, knowing inside it was true.
Ranma had surpassed him, had even beaten him in her female form. He may
have a few tricks and surprises left, but it was quite clear that Ranma
was {far :} superior to him... physically.
I don't think he'd admit to 'far' yet.
There was a possible solution to that, but for once, Genma was
unsure of it. He had acknowledged that he had perhaps made some mistakes
while he raised the boy, but Ranma had come through it, just like he
knew his son would. Genma had wanted the power when he was young, the
strength and martial {: arts} ability that ensured no one could control him, and
so had wanted his son to have that same power as well, if not more.
There was still quite a bit he wanted to teach the boy, but he wasn't
sure how to do so, since it seemed Ranma didn't listen to him much
anymore; especially since the boy was now stronger then him. It just
meant that Ranma figured Genma had nothing left to teach.
It seems whenever I set down to write something, I end up starting
something new, instead of continuing the stuff I already have.
*grumbles*
Anyway, this is my attempt on a character that rarely gets much time in
the spotlight in fics. In keeping with my stance that there is more to
each character than appears, and that all have a story, I decided to go
with one that most fics pass over, or give light treatment to.
I wasn't expecting the start of a multipart story, but it looks
interesting. I hope to see more soon.