I was thinking what is the one way Ranma 1/2 doesn't end. It came to me that
legally. Here is a little view on how it could have happened. There are lots
of part I would like to see done; the fight at the Nekohaten, the gathering
of the evidence, or scenes after this article. If anyone wants to write some
go right ahead, but let me post it on FF.net with this one.
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Ranma 1/2 & Urusai Yatsura belong to their owners and King of Fighters
theirs. Sailor Moon belong to their owners.
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Posted in the August 23, 1998 Tokyo National Times 33 part of 33 part
Exposese on the Nerima Wrecking Crew.
By Ranma Soatome
Dear Reader,
The Tokyo National Times has asked me to complete the history of the Nerima
Wrecking Crew. For two years the Chaos was contained to Nerima, but as that
gaijin show said, �All good things come to an end.� After what the Nerimians
dubbed the �Tendo Wedding Disaster,� the battles between my friends/rivals
increased and spread into other outlying Districts. This had the effect of
drawing in other groups, such as the circus called Tomobiki and Jubaan�s
Sailor Senshi. The fianc�e brigade�s battles increased too; fed by the
sister of one Tendo Akane, named Nabiki Tendo. A side note to this story is
that Nabiki Tendo aka � The Ice Queen� has lost all the money she made
during this period to her defense in court.
What started as a normal day for me during this time changed everything. Get
splashed with cold water by Akane, than thrown out the window into the Koi
pond by the man called my father, Genma. After dunking said man now a panda
into self said pond. Dodging what Akane would call breakfast. The recipe
attempted in this case was a Canadian Omelet with 3 eggs, Canadian Bacon,
Cheese, mushrooms, ham, olives, and oregano. What was in it was three eggs,
motor oil, butter, toadstools, Uranium 238, Baking Soda, and 8 other
compounds still unidentified. I refused to eat it and got booted out throw
the roof.
I fell onto Tokyo Unversity grounds, where 3 students helped pull me out of
the crater and hauled into a seat inside the law library. Their discussion
was a case on under age child pornography. I asked one question, �What are
you talking about?� After a couple of examples and hearing my story, I was
introduced to Dr. Takashima of the Law Library. This lead to my introduction
to the National Police. I was questioned and supplied a new camera and
microphone that could take the damage I dealt with on a daily basis.
At month three of the stakeout we had gathered enough evidence to bring down
the flag. At 1:00pm April 23rd the take down began. The first target was
Happousai, the trap was a carnival game where if you knock down all the
targetsyou won as many panties as you can carry. The old freak found it in
no time. Thanks to a donation from every cross dresser strip bar in Tokyo
the female panties were infused with male ki. Like before he gains some of
his �silky darlings� he draws some of the ki off. This blew his system out
of wack. His cell is covered in male underware donated by the group �Women
Against Perverts.�
Nabiki Tendo was taken down at the same time after being offered and
accepting 100,000 Yen for nude pictures of Akane Tendo, Ukyo Kouji, Shampoo,
and yours Truly. The next set was the three Kunos. They were arrested
without incident with the help of Sasuke. This was done by the use of
Kodachi�s sleeping potions. Ashoshi Kuno has been deported to Hawaii and
Hawaii is trying to deport him back to Japan. Tatewaki Kuno is moving into
the Saotome home after six months of drug recovery. Kodachi Kuno is
recovering at a undisclosed location and should reenter society sometime
around 2005. With this arrest only four groups were left: The Tendos/
Saotomes, the Amazons, Ryouga, and Ukyo Kouji.
To take care of the Amazons a few favors were called in. The raid on the
Nekohaten included Iori Yagami, Terry & Andy Bogard, Wolfgang Krauser, and
Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty. Also attached was the local fire
department. Thanks to the fire departments efforts Mousse and Shampoo were
taken out early. Krauser was reported offering to by drinks for all who were
in the raid for a most satisfying feeling of pain. Cologne is reported doing
well in the hospital. It is expected she will be able to leave the hospital
and recover 30% of her bodies usage. Shampoo remains a cat at the local
pound waiting to stand trial. Mousse showing intelligeance turned states
witness to have all charges dropped in exchange to testify against the
Amazons. He has gained a job serving as a bodyguard for the singer
Aphrodite.
Ryouga Hibiki was found wandering outside Shinjuku and offered a ride to
Nerima and accepted. He was delivered to jail and after a psycological
evaluation was sent to Happy Harry's Hospital for the Criminally Insane.
Good news is his finacee will be taking him soon to her farm to recover.
Ukyo Kouji has pleaded guilty and recieved a 300,000 fine and 5,000 hours
public service. She also has been adopted in to the Saotome clan as a
cousin.
By the time came for the Tendo Household everyone knew what was going on.
Doing a public service and attacking the three targeted while the police
stormed the compound. I pounded Genma into paste and Akane attacked me . Her
qoute was,"For real this time baka!" I responded by saying, "My pleasure."
The fight was short lived and we found she is into S&M. Soun passed out when
her daughter Kasumi knocked him out with a frying pan. I still have a hard
time believing that Kasumi can be violent. Genma is setting records after
his capture; examples are he is only person to have every surviving person
from King of Fighter Tournaments uses all their specials for the Nekoken and
child abuse, he also is stand trial as the first person to be charge and
tried by several nations at once in the Hague World Court. Akane in now
locked away and will be tried by remote camera after attempted killing of
several prison guard after a cavity search. Soun Tendo is under going
treatment for depression and emotional swings. A side note is Nodoka Saotome
serving as part of an omai arranging the marriage of one Kasumi Tendo and
one Tofu Ono, the twins are expected in late January.
Yours Truly has been living with his mother in Juuban and beating up some of
the local monsters for practice. Attending Jubaan High is interesting and I
have met a nice girl who is kind and sweet. We confirmed our being boyfriend
and girlfriend after five months of dating. She has her studies as a
priority and I keep up my martial arts training. A postitive side is I have
sparing sessions with Terry Bogard, Geese Howard, Kyo Kusanagi, and Wolfgang
Krauser. Lum Redit, Benten, and Oyuki show up on occasion to take martial
art lessons.
Yours Truly,
Ranma Soatome
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