If this wasn't a paraody, I'd be asking how can any goddess penetrate Hild's
office unopposed. As it is, I'll move on to other matters.

Tisiphone cringed and swallowed as she turned to face her punishment.

Whatever it might be.

We never get to see what happened to her after this...

"My, my, aren't they having fun.  And how did I call Peorth twice?"

She dialled a wrong number?

"Ahhh," Nabiki said, snapping.  "This explains the two phone calls."

It should be Urd saying this, right?

"You'd think they'd notice the head-markings though,"

There's also the matter of clothes, height and hairstyle.

"I'm I ever going to get sex as a guy?!?!!??"

Shouldn't that be 'Am I ever...'? You've got quite a few errors like this.
Correct them.

Mara was in Hell...and she didn't remember how she'd gotten there.

Speaking of Mara, was she the unidentified woman in a few scenes previously?

"Don't forget I tricked you into helping me,"

When and how? I've read the previous installments, but I can't recall
anything like this.

"Hey, Akane," a cheerful looking girl in a Megumi Tech shirt said.

She really does have a shirt with her name on it.

h) Demons are stuck by their wishes...

They are under no obligation to give a wish.

But once they grant a wish, they are obligated to fulfil it.



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