I don't think it got through before :p
Here it is, analyze to your delight, but know that
this IS a rough draft. Have fun!

Memoirs, Chapter 5: The silence of Mother and Child

A harsh rap on a door awoke me. I kept my eyes shut,
in fear of what I might see. I was afraid that my
tormentors were still there, and that they would want
more of my soul than they had already taken.
"Is she okay?" A voice, harsh queried to the silent
room. The voice was soft, but at the same time
weathered. It was as if the speaker had been through
years of pain, and was still hiding that pain, but
there was also love in the voice, and hope.
"I don't know, Ukyo. Cologne said it could be a while
before we know. I'm scared." From this voice I felt
the same love, the same hope, and in almost the same
measure. It was a voice that, though it only exuded
love at this point, could harbor anger. It was so much
less stable than the other, but at the same time it
was so much more to me.
"I'm scared too, Akane. I want Ranchan to be okay, and
though it's obvious her body survived the treatment,
I'm more worried about her soul."
A soft hand took mine.
I chose this time to open my eyes, and found that I
was in the bed that Akane and I shared.
"Did you miss me?" I was surprised at the voice that
came out. It was so weak. Was this really me?
Akane quickly hugged me tightly, no longer satisfied
with my hand.
"What's the big deal, Akane? I'm fine! I may even
start to grow up, if I'm lucky." I offered my best
smile to the girls, hoping to cheer them up.
"Herb stopped by yesterday, Ranma." I noticed that
Akane had switched back to my former name, but I let
it be, not knowing what she was leading up to.
"He left this for you." Ukyo handed me an ornate
letter, not unlike the first two I had recieved.
"To the honorable Saotome,
I am honored to be the first to tell you that I have
retrieved the Chisuiton, and that, oddly enough, it is
still pulling. This only draws me to one conclusion,
and that is that the Kaisui-Fu must still be intact.
As you are currently unable to leave Japan, and I
still cosider my life-debt unfulfilled, I shall
journey to find the Kaisui-Fu. I would be honored to
call you my friend when this is over, Saotome, for,
having survived this ordeal thus far, you are surely a
man among men.
-Herb."
I dropped the letter to the floor in surprise. Akane
and Ukyo looked worried until they saw my elation.
"Have you read this? This is great news! I may be able
to turn back!"
As smiles dawned on Ukyo and Akane's faces I got up
and began to get dressed.
Ukyo suddenly stopped. "But, Ranchan..."
I gave her a look and noticed the worry on her face.
"If you can go back...would you want to? I mean of
course you'd want to, but what if you can't?"
I stopped dead. "I have to take the chance, Ucchan. If
I can gain my identity back this will all be like a
bad dream. I can regain all I lost in a matter of
days."
"But what about all you've gained, Ranchan?"
"Gained?" 
Ukyo gently put her hands around my shoulders.
"You've learned so much! In the last month alone
you've been able to admit that you love Akane, you've
gotten to the point where you don't say something
stupid once out of every three phrases, and you've
improved as an artist as well. Would you really want
to go back to being your old self?"
I shrugged out of my best friend's grip. "I have to be
me, Ukyo. I'm not female, no matter how many years you
stick me in this body for. My real body is still
aging, and I want it back. Think how your life would
be if you were given a male body for half the time at
age sixteen, and then been bahished permanently to
that body at age eighteen, could you imagine the
agony?"
Ukyo remined silent and shook her head, causing her
long, brown hair to flow over her shoulders.
"Do whatever you want, Ranchan. I'm behind you the
entire way, but please think about Akane during this.
The reason we can't understand what you've been
through is that you've never told us, nd we're afraid
to ask.
"You should be, Ukyo. You should be."

*                      *                    * 

Not knowing how to react to the information that Herb
had supplied me with, I went to school the next day as
normal. Apparently normalcy was not fated, as Yoiko
and Yuriko knew was up.
As I approached the Furinkan building I recieved a tap
on my shoulder, which nearly scared me out of my wits.
"What's up, Ranko? I've been following you for about
six blocks! Did you stay up too late or something?"
Yuriko hopped in front of me and began to walk
backwards.
I shook my head. "A lot happened last night. I'm just
brooding."
"Well you'd better hurry. Two more minutes and we'll
be late to Western Poetry?
I nodded and began to sprint towards my classroom.
Yoiko began to run as well, and neither of us noticed
the pack of boys that were lined up to date us,
luckily for them.
We arrived in the second-story classroom but a moment
before the bell rang.
?Welcome, Saotome Ranko, to Western Poetry. You seem
to have the same tendancy as your brother to be late,
but I warn you now that I shall not tolerate such
tardiness in my class.?
?My brother? I mean...gomen ne, Sensei.? I bowed to
Kuno and took my seat.
?Okay. Welcome to Western Poetry. I shall first read
an excerpt from a poem by one William Shakespeare, a
renowned Western Playwright and poet.?
?Hearts remote and yet not asunder
Distance and no space was seen
?Twixt the turtle and his queen
But in them it were a wonder?
?Is there a problem, miss Saotome??
I didn?t know why, but some reason tears were in my
eyes. Maybe it was the sheer beauty of the poem that
Kuno recited, but maybe it was something else, but
before I knew it my face was in my hands and I was
crying uncontrollably as the other girls snickered,
Yuriko looked confused, and Kuno looked helpless.
?Yuriko, if you would please, could you please escort
miss Saotome to the Nurse?s office??
As Yuriko gently tugged my by the elbow I got to
thinking. Was I the Turtle? I knew I loved Akane, but
was it true that I was hiding even still? I knew it
was. I had receded the minute I left the ward. I was
afraid of my love. How could I face her as a woman?
Even after we?d had that wonderful night together, I
still had my doubts.
?Are you okay, Ranko?? I looked up to see Yoiko.
?Fine, Yoichan.? I must have not been disguising my
voice very well, because Yoiko immedeately sat down
next to me, on the nurse?s office bed that Yuriko had
led me to.
?You can tell me what?s wrong, ne??
I bit my lip. ?Remember when I tried to explain my
life to you, Yoiko??
Yoiko nodded, looking as if she was trying to remember
way back then.
?Well..remember when I told you I was really a boy??
Another nod came. ?I found a way to regain my
manhood.?
Yoiko blanched, as I expected her to.
?I know it?s hard to believe, Yoiko. I want you  there
with me when I turn back. You need to see who I am.?
Yoiko answered with a nod and took my shoulder in her
arm.
After a few minutes of me comfortably resting in my
friend?s arm, she got up.
?How long has it been since you went into that chair,
Ranko??
?Fifteen days, why??
Yoiko only winked. ?I?ll tell you in a couple of
weeks, maybe sooner.?
Yoiko then opened the door, said something to the
nurse, and left.

*                    *                 *

That night, as I lay in Akane?s arms, I gently
tightened my wrap around her.
?Akane...are you awake??
Akane shifted to get in a full view of me and smiled,
which caused me to involuntarily blush. ?Yes,
Ranko...Ranma. I?m here.?
?Do you want to know what I went through??
Akane shifted again and pulled me closer. ?If you want
to tell me, Ran...chan.? She surpressed a giggle.
I nodded and began my tale.

*                   *                   *

When I finished, Akane was livid.
?I can see why you did what you did, Ranma. Perhaps
not with Happy, but in the Ward. You had to become who
you are, or you would have had to spend essentially
the rest of your life in there. I?m just relieved that
the one I have come to love is still in there, and I
have even come to love some of the ?new you? as well?
I nodded slowly. "Just remember, Akane, that no matter
how many dresses I've worn, no matter how many
hairstyles I've been through, no matter what my body
looks like, I'll always be the man who loves you."
We then tightened our embrace, two lovers enfolded in
one-another, and slept.

*               *               *

I watched as Ranma embraced Akane. What had he done to
her? How had he made her love him? Truly, it must have
been through some subversion. He must have threatened
her father, or blackmailed her. How could this foul
crossdresser have enticed Akane into showing such love
for him?
He had sacrificed his honor. He had compromised her
integrity. He had shown me hell through the pig,
flaunting the body that he inherited. When I found my
cure, he forced his guilt upon me by making his into a
permanent situation. Ranma Saotome would die, and he
would die by my hand!
But how to do it...
I needed to set him up. The last thing that bastard
would see would be my grinning face, triumphant in the
annihilation of his evil. Then Akane would love me.
Then Akane would realize the spell that had been put
on her and rejoice. Then I would finally have the
woman I deserve, while Ranma Saotome would get the
fate he deserves. I, Hibiki Ryoga, will come out on
top!

*                 *              *

Ranko was sneazing uncontrollably as we ate dinner, so
I gently handed her a handkerchief.
She thanked me and went back to eating, silence
invading the room once again.
Ranko finally finished her stack of Okonomiyaki and
sat up.
"So, Akane. Have you talked to your sisters lately."
Startled at the seemingly random line of questioning,
I nearly dropped my Okonomiyaki. Ukyo looked relieved
when I saved the large pancake/pizza from falling on
our table.
I gave Ranko a level stare. "I haven't talked to them
since we left home. I assume that Kasumi's doing well
with Tofu, and Nabiki got a scholarship to some
prestigious business school in Central Tokyo."
"Okay. So have you considered talking to your father?"
I avoided Ranko's gaze and concentrated  on my
Okonomiyaki for a little while.
"I'm not ready to talk to him yet.  I still can't
forgive him just letting you go, back then."
Ranko got up and started cleaning her placemat off.
"Well...you might consider trying to talk to him. I'm
worried about him, and I don't want to have a boss
who's crying for most of the day while I'm trying to
work."
I didn't believe my ears. "A boss? Are you telling me
you went to work for my father?"
Ranko simply nodded. "I need to solidify my identity
again, and one good way to do that is by having
income, so I'm going to be teaching at Tendo Dojo on
weekends." I was beginning to fume, and it was obvious
that Ranko noticed this. "Don't worry, Akane. I won't
try to push you two together beyond this, but it does
pain me to see a family like yours split up. You four
used to be so close, now it must have been over a year
since you'ver talked to your sisters, and longer since
you've talked to your father."
At first I was furious at the effrontery of Ranko's
interference into my family's business, then I was
touched by the fact that she was showing that she
really cared. Through this maelstrom of emotion, I
somehow managed to nod.
Ranko stood up and placed her hands on the table.
"Good! You, your father, and Kasumi have a lunch date
here, tomorrow at half past noon. Don't be late. I'm
working on contacting Nabiki, and I think I may have a
lead as to where she went, but don't expect any
miracles."
Ranko left, leaving Ukyo and I dazed.
I gave the chef, who was behind the counter fixing
herself another okonomiyaki, a look. "Did you know she
was going to pull this, Ukyo?"
Ukyo shook her head. "I had no idea. I wonder how long
she's been planning this for."
I gave Ukyo a nod and went upstairs to plan a
long-overdue reunion with my father and my sisters.

*                       *                       *

I kept an eye on Saotome. She was doing quite well,
but she was unhappy. I had to give her life a chance
to repair. This was my fault.
I took flight from the residence of the Kuonji girl
and searched for my next destination. I nearly roared
in triumph as the pull from the Chisuiton got
stronger, and I finally saw my destination.
The old man was truly merciless. I recognized the name
on the house I approached. This would truly be taxing,
but it would also give me the chance I needed to help
repair the life of Saotome, and to repay my debt.
I would not tell Saotome yet. She would want a few
more days to sort out her affairs. She would need some
timeso she went through this ordeal with prudence. She
would need a few more days before she was to go home.

*                 *                  *

As I sat in my room staring at the pink ceiling,
feeling the silk of the pink bedsheets, and wondering
why the Ward bothered supplying pink undergarments,
there came a knock on my undeniably pink wooden door.
?Saotome-san. There is a...a visitor for you? The
gruff voice of the guard seemed to have a tinge of
nervousness on it?s edge, so, bored out of my mind at
the endless tedium of the Ward, I rose to my feet,
opened the door, and followed my would-be babysitter
to the visitor?s room.
As I sunk down into the deep armchair that was
supplied for the patient?s end of the room, I took
notice of a dark sillouette in a corner where there
should have been no shadow.
?Do you want to redeem yourself in the eyes of your
son, Saotome-san?? The voice was deep, familiar, and
undeniably Deadly. 
I somehow managed to keep my composure.
?And to whom am I speaking??
The figure stepped out of shadows to reveal himself as
a powerful-looking man, as my son had been.
?Do you want your son to regain his manhood?? I couls
scarcely believe what I was hearing. This man knew a
cure?
The man walked forward and placed a key in my hand. It
was the key to my home, the place I left in order to
regain my lost honor, my lost hope. Could I return
yet?
The dark man gave a curt nod to the orderly who stood
behind me and I was given a white ceremonial Kimono.
?It?s time to go home, Saotome Nodoka, and to give
your son life for the second time.?

*                       *                 *

I sat across the table from my mother, awaiting her
explanation. Why had she returned now of all times?
?Hello, Son.?
I bowed my head and mumbled a barely-coherant
response, not ready to have this situation thrust upon
me.
My mother stood, sighed briefly, and dropped something
metallic on the table.
?Six, one, Ninety-nine. That should be the combination
of the safe. According to the Dragon, your cure is
there. I hope this has redeemed you in my eye, son,
for I can do no more.?
Nodoka began to walk out, but I stopped her before I
knew what I was doing, and embraced my mother with all
of my might.
?I can try and forgive you, Mother, and I shall,
provided you accompany me, and try and see who I am
without hindrance of superficial ?honor.?? She winced
at my harshly chosen words, but nodded at their
implication.
I gave a glance to Akane and Ukyo, who were sitting at
the bar with Ryoga, and we arose as one, ready to face
my destiny.

*                    *                      *

As we entered the dark Saotome home, my mother
shuddered and I gave her a sidelong glance.
?Something?s missing, Ranma. I don?t know what, but
something?s wrong.?
Ryoga looked out the front door and glanced into the
hallway ahead of us. ?It?s clear, Ranma. Let?s get
this over with.?
Mother was right, though. Something was seriously
wrong.
Not wanting to cause any more nervousness, I ran to
catch up with my mother, and stopped cold as I saw her
removing that fateful object, an ornately-carved
kettle, harboring more power than anything I knew. It
was the Kaisui-Fuu: My cure.
Nodoka Saotome, my mother, quietly, ceremoniously
walked to a fucet and filled the kettle with hot water
as Akane, Yoiko, and Ukyo entered the room behind me
and backed against a wall.
I imagined the joy an delation of my male body as the
hot water poured over me.
I never imagined the wrenching feeling, or the pain.
This wasn?t right.
I looked down to feel something wet and sticky. As I
felt my belly, where it hurt, my hand came away red.
This was about when I noticed the look Akane had on
her face. It was a look of horror, and it was directed
at whatever was right behind me. 
Something was horribly wrong.
I turned around to see Hibiki Ryoga, holding the
remainder of my family?s blade, and had just enough
time to dodge so it went into my lung, not my heart.
It didn?t matter.
I found myself unable to concentrate as I got ready to
defend myself and attempted to focus ont he elated
grin that Hibiki Ryoga sported. The bastard had been
planning this all along.
I was dead anyway, so I decided to do what I knew how
to do: fight.
In my desperation, in hindsight, I may have overdone
it a bit, but it really didn?t matter. it was over,
and even as I began to systematically break each of my
assailant and murderer?s bones, one by one, I knew
that this was the end.

*                        *                    *

My dream had just become a nightmare.
Here was the man...the woman I loved, glowing like
some odd star, every muscle writhing in some twisted
parody of the neko-ken, two blades sticking out of her
like some sort of cannibalistic shish-kabob, and
snapping Ryoga?s bones, one by one, while keeping him
cruelly alive.
Somehow, this isn?t what startled me.
Ranma was aging.
I was surprised, because she developed so quickly,
outgrowing her seifuku to the end that she bordered on
kinky and had gone far beyond vuluptuous.
Her hair grew too, and before I knew it backlash for
four years of non-aging had caused Ranma?s beautiful
red locks to hit the floor, and yet she still fought,
and she still extended her cruelty.
The glow finally intensified as the Kaisui-Fuu
completed it?s work, turning the bloodied, gorgeous
twenty-year old woman into a handsome, nearly dead
twenty-year old man.
Ranma finally stopped attacking Ryoga, who promptly
collapsed to the floor, only to be covered ina towel
by his mother, but as I saw the look in his eyes I
knew it was no good. My love was dying.
?Akane.? His voice was a whisper.
I found that I had been crying, and backed off from
the man I loved. Before I made that mistake for the
second time, though, two hands caught my shoulders.
A Quiet, tearful voice gently admonished me. ?He loves
you, Hun. He needs you now most of all.?
I glanced behind me to see Yoiko nodding as well,
agreeing with Ukyo?s statement, and found that I
needed no more encouragement. I ran to my love,
bloodied and kneeling on the hard, unforgiving floor
near the man who had brought about his death, and
embraced him as he died, taking my heart with him and
speaking one final, emphatic word.
?Live!?
And with that Saotome Ranma left my life for the
second time.

*                    *                     *

Brightness.
Heaven?
Death?
Peace?
Where am I?
Underwater?
Voices.
Where are they coming from?
So familiar...
?Qipannichuan.?

Disclaimer:
Rumiko Takahiashi owns everything from Ranma 1/2.
Everything else in here is mine.

This is a rough draft. With comments and criticizms
please E-mail Inu_Ranma@yahoo.com be constructive,
please!!

There will be one more chapter to memoirs, but first I
plan on revising chapters 2-5, so please feel free to
criticize any of them to your heart?s delight! :)

-Inu



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