Eh... These are my opinions, and my opinions only. If you don't like them,
well, I don't know where you live (I should probably look it up online, ne?)
so I can't hunt you down and shoot you. This means you don't really have to
worry about paying attention if you don't want to. ^_^
Anyway, on to the fic:
----- Original Message -----
From: "Douglas MacDougall" <dougmacd@dougmacd.net>
To: "Fanfic Mailing List" <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Tuesday, April 30, 2002 4:30 PM
Subject: [FFML] [Fic][Ranma] Unlikely
My parents are both fighters, you know. Warriors. I guess they
weren't used to being creative, so when it came time to give me a name,
Dad had the bright idea to use the first syllable of his name, and the
last syllable of Mom's.
Well, this was certainly an unexpected matchup... ^_^;
For some reason I keep seeing images of p-chan running around frantically,
searching for cover, as the shadow of a large predator quickly skims across
the ground, diving towards a fresh meal. ^_^;
But I'm not here to talk about my name, but why I'm here. No, not
why I'm sitting in front of you! I mean, why am I here, on this Earth.
Why was I born?
Earth? --it's a question, needs a question mark.
Dad says I shoudn't worry about existential stuff like that. "It'll
only get you depressed," he says. Like he should talk. He's got to be
one of the most introspective people I know. "There's nothing else to
do on the road BUT think," he likes to say.
....
I wouldn't really say he spends the time THINKING... we never really have any
evidence to suggest that, certainly. But if you say so. ^_^
I guess they make a weird couple. Mom always calls Dad a pig, and
Dad says the reason he fell for Mom because of her cursed form.
'is because of'
I'm not exactly sure when they started seeing each other. Mom won't
talk about it, and Dad just says it had something to do with a tragedy
at at Phoenix Mountain. Someone very close to Mom died; a person she
wanted to protect.
'tragedy at Phoenix' --one at, not two.
I'm a little unclear why Dad was there. He probably was trying to
go somewhere else, and he just bumped into her. Apparently she was a
wreck, blaming herself for what happened. She'd left her home and was
contemplating suicide.
Um. So she didn't consider herself to be responsible for raising the reborn
Saffron?
****
'Dammit, I failed once, so I'm leaving!' She stomps off.
The baby cries on, abandoned on the edge of a wind-swept cliff.
****
....okay.....
^_^
Or did Saffron REALLY die?
For maybe the first time in his life, Dad tried to snap someone else
out of THEIR depression. Obviously it worked. I mean, Mom's still
around; she gave birth to me. I think sometimes it helped that Mom was
almost always in her cursed form. Maybe it made it easier for her to
adjust, since in some way it wasn't really her.
some ways --pretty sure, anyway.
These days she does change back to her normal form every now and
them. Usually to help me train, or when she's trying to find Dad.
now and then.
Oh, did I mention? When my dad is splashed with cold water, he
becomes a little black piglet; Mom's a girl. When they're splashed with
hot water, they turn back to their normal forms.
mom should be a girl. you should probably be more specific in saying that
she's a girl when splashed. maybe even say she's a HUMAN girl when splashed.
You know, it was quite a shock, the first time I saw Mom in a hot
bath....
...
......
Okay, what mother doesn't give their child baths? Hot ones, even? I doubt
Ryoma can remember THAT far back... she would have grown up with it. She
wouldn't have just, at the age of 15 or so, accidentally walk in on her mom
bathing. "Mom, you have... wings!"
Well, Dad's anyway. From what I've learned about the Musk Dynasty,
I actually should have inherited the traits from Mom's uncursed body.
Luckily for me, though, I only get them in my cursed form.
Well, Dad's, anyway.
And in this tent, see Ryoma, the amazing pig-bird!
I'm having trouble visualizing this. ^_^;
That's when I figured it out. Ever since it was created, Jusenkyo's
whole purpose was for me to be born.
...?
How did she come to this conclusion?
Does she discount the possibility that some other person might have inherited
a curse at some point, simply because she doesn't know about it?
You remember The Day of Peace? The day when wars and fighting all
over the world just happened to stop? It was the same day I mastered
how to move in my cursed form. I bet if you checked, and took the time
zone differences into account, it would be the exact same moment.
Um. I don't get it. Did they stop, permanently, or for the period of that
day? There isn't enough worldwide warfare, as far as I know, that a cessation
of hostilities for a single day would really be noticed. It's not like every
country is constantly at war, or something.
And if they stopped, period, why? How does Jusenkyou have anything to do with
that? Or is it supposed to be that, somehow, Ryoma, the pig-bird, startled
the world into sensibility the first time took flight--and it was televised?
The magic of Jusenkyo has been waiting all this time to make sure I
was born. So that-- Oh geez, where did those rainclouds come from?!
Sorry, I gotta go. Weird things happen when--.
...what?
I must be missing references to stuff I don't know about, or something... I
don't understand how she has any connection to rainclouds.
The man running the noodle cart barks a laugh. "YOU give up sake?"
YOU, give up...
"Yeah, me" You fish into your wallet, and decide it's about time to
pay off your tab.
Yeah, me."
And in the distance, the once enthusiatic girl who shrank into a
little black piglet flies away on swanlike wings.
Too subtle? Has it already been before? Enquiring minds want to know.
Either it's too subtle, or I'm an idiot. Well, I'm an idiot, but it might
just be too subtle, too. I really didn't understand what the whole concept
behind Ryoma's causing world peace was, nor did her explanation for why
Jusenkyou existed merely to create her seem at all believable.
Unless everybody else jumps out saying, "Wow! Incredible! I understood this
perfectly, and it was a work of genius!' you might want to consider
re-examining your goals for this fic, figuring out what makes it hard to
understand, and rewriting for clarity. As it is, all I got out of the fic was
the startling idea of a Ryouga/Kiima matchup, and a new character to identify
as being clearly insane.
What is with Ryoma? Is this a crossover/fusion with something that has a bat
with swan wings that somehow causes peace on earth? There's nothing listed in
the credits but for Ranma, so if it is, you need to add whatever that story
is. If it's not a crossover or fusion of some kind, then the story is just
plain hard to understand.
I really didn't get this at all. ^_^;
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'