Hmm, I'm not much for giving C&C, but...

It would be a bit more interesting if there were at least one person who
was offered the chance to be a genie, but who refused.

Also, each of the recruitments seems nearly identical, providing little
to the story, making this seem more prologueish than chapter oneish.  If
you were doing this as a real story, you wouldn't need to show all
eight, just a few of them in the prologue, and then do flashbacks of the
others in chapters one and two.

-- 
print reverse( ",rekcah", " lreP", " rehtona", " tsuJ" )."\n";

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'