Suggested changes: {before : after}
On Sat, 27 Apr 2002 10:19:16 -0700 (PDT) Thryth <thrythlind@yahoo.com> woote:
Several people were staring at the lamp post that
had been rammed back into its former position. The
shook their heads and hummed, watching the occasional
spark of electricity jump out of the destroyed wires.
I like that. It's sort of like Ryouga's unbrella.
"Oh, {Konnichi : konnichi} wa," Tarre said. "This is the Tendo
dojo, I brought you here." She leaned forward and
sniffed at the girl for a moment. There was something
familiar about her, she just couldn't place it.
"Find him quickly!!" the zookeeper demanded
angrily.
This could be an excellent recuring problem for Genma. It could happen to
a nicer guy, but I'm glad it happend to him.
"So anyway," the redhead continued. "I think I
better head on back to China before the baka panda
finds some hot water an comes lookin' for me or
something." Nabiki and Kasumi looked back to their
definitely nervous {fighter : father}.
It wasn't deep into the first exchange before Akane
felt her anger raising. This vagabond girl was just
blocking her strikes and not attacking. In the past{: ,}
Akane would have let that anger {raise : rise} and cloud her
thinking. She had been working to control that anger
over the last year, which was how she figured out the
girl was watching her form and guaging her "tells" as
Nabiki would have said.
That was her saving grace, Ranma was applying her
unarmed and staff techniques to the bokken. As such
she was telegraphing her sword moves all over the
place. She couldn't read {hardly anything : much} else, but
she KNEW where that sword was going almost a
half-second before it was there. There were even
several places that Akane saw an opening to work in
one of the disarming moves she knew, but Ranma moved
too fast for her to take advantage of them.
She {broke away from : stopped} her dodging and deflections for
a moment to send in one hard block, designed to
{off-balance her opponent : knock her opponent off-balance}. Then she flashed out a kick
to take advantage of that, hoping her opponent would
be surprised by the change up.
Kasumi briefly imagined herself in the same
situation and shuddered, she couldn't quite see it.
She would have had to give up on training and her
school. She'd probably never have gone on that first
date with Tofu. She'd probably be still living at
home.
Oh the horror!
Has she moved out? I had the impression she still lives at home, she just
isn't running it.
"Then why not just have Ranma and Akane teach each
other what they don't know?" Kasumi asked.
"That sounds fair," Ranma added, thinking of those
sword forms.
"But," Soun sputtered.
"No they..." Genma started.
"Yeah," Akane agreed. "If we both learn what each
other knows, then the completed school can grow twice
as large."
Good thinking from Kasumi. I also like how it takes the fathers aback.
"What are you thinking Saotome?" Tendo asked.
"There needs to be a Tendo-Saotome marriage in order
to end this curse."
Hmmm. It looks like there is going to be a lot of backstory to cover;
especially with such short chapters.
--
Mac :})
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