Suggested changes: {before : after}

On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 00:50:27 -0700 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org> wrote:

        "Tokimi," Ranma breathed, scowling. "I... I remember. She told me...." He 
broke off, stepping away from Hotaru and rising a short distance off the 
ground. "I have to find Washuu."

She reverted from adult to child because it was too painful, why not from a
goddess as well

        Smiling forlornly, he turned his attention to the line about him, but 
stopped counting when he reached twenty. This time, _this_ time, they 
would all {die to : fall to : die from} his attack, no matter the cost to himself. His thoughts 
were rudely interrupted as a hand grabbed his collar, someone lifting 
him bodily and racing towards the line of defenders. He struggled for an 
instant to see who it was, protesting, "I'm not done with my attack yet!"

        Her hand dropped to her side, as the reaver's claws fell, no longer 
attached to the reaver itself. The compulsion lessened, but she could 
not back away. Ranma's voice reached her, even though her eyes remained 
firmly trained on portal before her. "So this is what it's all about," 
he mused quietly. "This is what everything that was done to this world 
was done for. Tokimi wants you, Washuu."

Very early someone said that the reavers were designed to give Washuu
trouble.  I'd originally thought it was because they were resistant to the
type of technology she wielded, but apparently they were aimed specifically
at her.  They've appeared on other planets, was she there before they
arrived?  If so, why didn't the greatest scientific genius in the universe
notice the correlation?

        Once he had verified that Kohito was safe, Yohito found the job far more 
boring than he would have liked to admit, and drummed his fingers 
against the console before him. More large Galaxy Police ships would be 
arriving shortly, and he would have to greet them -- along with the 
Galaxy Police craft that was in convoy with him. Detective Kuramitsu was 
something of a legend, though Yohito had only actually spoken with her 
cadet, so he was confident that any difficulties could be easily managed.

I guess no one has told him what kind of legend.

        Her own warriors drifted on whatever updrafts were available, resting 
from the long flight and trying to watch over the battlefield. 
Reflecting on the brief skirmish, Kiima could only conclude that the 
forces of the Phoenix People {were : had been} wholly useless in the last battle. 
Whistling shrilly, and gathering the attention of her two messengers, 
she snapped out, "Tell all of our men that the next time the forces 
below get attacked, we will dive to ground level and fight at the side 
of those below."

        Distracted, and worried over the change in Ranma's demeanor, Washuu 
attended Tsunami, {watchful : watching} for reavers until they reached Jusenkyou, 
shortly before sunset. Once there, the Phoenix People landed, shifting 
about uncomfortably and waiting expectantly. Saffron strode towards them 
to address them quietly, while the surviving Marines clustered together 
a short distance away from her.

        "Sir," Pavel said quietly. "With all due respect, I think she has a 
point. Given the performance of our Marines, we're going to be more of a 
liability than an aid here. We can barely keep up with the Amazon and 
Musk warriors, our weapons are {potential dangerous : dangerous :

potentially dangerous : potential dangers} to both our allies 

and ourselves... this is a fight that we should have stepped away from a 
long time ago."

        Amidst a large circle of her warriors -- though diminished from the 
morning meeting -- Cologne surveyed them, frowning unhappily. "Welcome 
to Jusenkyou," she said tiredly. "Don't drink the water. How are we all 
holding up?"

At least she still hase her sense of humor.  Don't touch it either.

        Washuu shook her head. "That couldn't be it -- the one in my lab came 
just as close to me."        "And there were who-knows how many layers of your 
laboratory stacked on top of itself there to confuse it."

This needs a paragraph break.

        "I may be able to do something," Washuu said suddenly. All eyes turned to 
her, as the Galaxy Police vessel flashed a set of lights at them, and 
began to rise slowly. "I can increase the power and focus of the beacon 
-- I can make it show itself as being somewhere east of us. That way, 
when they discern our true location, they come at us straight through 
Jusenkyou. If those pools do what I've been told they do, they'll slow 
them down enough to give us a good head start on running. It should {: only} take 
them a few hours to figure it out, though."

        The process of running westward was slow, Herb calling the army to a halt 
{ever : every} few steps to allow everyone to recover. Rather than attacking in 
force, the reavers sent out the occasional lone reaver to scuttle 
towards one flank or the other, one that vanished before any lasting 
damage could be done to it, and without attacking.

        Sighing again, and with careful deliberation, Saffron pulled back the 
Gekkaja, and swung it at the gem forcefully, as the first of the reavers 
began to surge over the protective barrier. "Yes," Ranma hissed, tapping 
into the last bit of power he needed to complete what he {wanted : had}

to do.


--
Mac :})
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Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.



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