On Wed, 24 Apr 2002 21:49:26 -0700 (PDT) Raye Johnsen <raye_j@yahoo.com>
writes:

Hey, everyone.  It's been a while.

So it has.  Nice to see another chapter of this.

        Sayuri also paused,  then said, {Keep going, Yuka.}

I don't think Sayuri can pause, as she wasn't doing anything.  Perhaps
maybe: "Sayuri was silent for a moment, then said," or something similar.

        "But the bit about her leaving Nerima may be fake,"
ayuri continued.

I'm missing the S in Sayuri here.

Hmm... and that's all the errors I caught.

As I mentioned just a bit earlier, it's nice to see this fic is still in
progress: it's one of the more unique Ranma/SM crossovers I've run
across.

So, keep up the good work!


           Aaron Nowack
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/

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