Anyhow, good to see you active writing again, Lurker. This piece was
certainly as...extreme...as I'd expect from one of your shortfics. ^_^;;

I agree with Lawrence, though, that having Ryoga describe the result
secondhand doesn't make for as strong an ending as you could have. I
don't really think a flashback's the way to go either. Perhaps actually
having Akane observe Ranma's condition would help, though of course it'd
be difficult to describe what she saw without getting overly crude.

Yeah...basically, I did this in one take, five minutes, out of boredom in
the middle of the night. I have a fairly major project in the works that
I'll probably start getting out across the list soon, as soon as I reach
what feels like a comfortable chapter length for the first part.

Thanks for the comments, and the chuckle they inspired. ^_^

-------------------------------------------

Studio ELL: Back in Crack!
http://www.lurkerdrome.com
The Eternal Lost Lurker
lurker@lurkerdrome.com
http://www.livejournal.com/users/lurkerdrome



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