Dinner at the Tendo's

A Ranma 1/2 spamfic by Larry F

Disclaimer: Ranma � and its characters and settings belong to Rumiko
Takahashi, Shogakukan, Kitty, and Viz Video.

**********

This is my first diary entry in many years. I hadn't tried to keep one since
mother died.  I guess my life had fallen into such a bland routine that I
hadn't anything worth writing about.

How could I know that one day my simple life would take a sudden, drastic
turn?  It began six months ago when Father collected the day's mail and
found a postcard in it from his old friend.

          Tendo,
          Bringing Ranma from China.
          --Saotome

That's all it said.  But what a difference so few words can make...

He arrived the same day as the postcard.  We were expecting two visitors,
but only one arrived.  He was a handsome youth, tall and strong, and with
the most striking blue eyes.  I was disappointed, though, because he was two
years younger than I, and I would have preferred someone older as my future
husband.

Yes, he's my fiance.  Father had told us before his arrival that he would be
arriving for an omiai-- a marriage meeting-- and that it was important for
one of us to accept him.  The future of our dojo and our school of martial
arts rode on it.  As the eldest, the dojo would naturally be my dowry; and
as eldest, it was my duty to take up the burden of the family honor
regardless.

But I must admit that, at first, I was sorely tempted to pass off the
engagement to Akane, my youngest sister.  After all, Ranma-kun is a very
frightening person.  He has an intense way of looking at you that makes you
feel like you're meat on the butcher's block.

However, impulsive as she is, she challenged him to a practice match, and he
soundly trounced her. After that, she said that she wouldn't have anything
further to do with him.  She wasn't hurt badly, although it took days for
the bruises on her face to fade away, but I think that her pride was hurt
the most.

Nabiki had been excited about a prospective fiance, but when he arrived she
changed her mind.  She later told me that he was 'just too spooky', and that
she felt like a mouse trying to stare down a wolf when around him.  That's
not very much like Nabiki; she's usually a very bold girl, and not used to
being intimidated.

We set him up in the upstairs guest room, and while unpacking he gave me
some food to store for him.  It was some kind of dried meat, similar to beef
jerky.  When I asked him about it, he told me it was 'panda'.  I'm think
that he was joking; everyone knows that pandas are a protected species, so
no one would sell their meat for food.

I'm not sure, though.  He has a poker face that a professional gambler would
envy.  But I'm certain that he does have a sense of humor.  Ranma once told
me, "A census taker once tried to test me... I ate his liver with some fava
beans and a nice Chianti... and I don't even -like- liver."

I suppose I'd better stop writing now.  I have to start dinner.  Ranma has
promised to provide the ingredients for the main course tonight.  He said
that he knows where to get both a duck and a piglet for free.  I'm looking
forward to making a truly special dinner with them, to celebrate the
sixth-month anniversary of our engagement.


**********

Author's notes: This is actually the second incarnation of this story.  I
wrote a variation of it as a spamfic several years ago, a dark comedy piece
in which Kasumi was openly aware of Ranma's eating habits and worked hard to
come up with recipes for his unusual larder.  However, that version is long
lost, so I decided to redo it with a bit more subtlety.  Hope you like the
results.

And yes, this is a mystery fusion of sorts.  Call it a crossover of Ranma �
and Silence of the Lambs, even though the only direct SOL element is that
modified Hannibal Lecter quote.  ^_-



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