--- Chan Wei Lik <weimin@pl.jaring.my> wrote:

I've noticed that this scene needs to be
straightened out:

  "Are you sure we need any hot water?" Ukyou

asked
after a moment.
   "One fantasy at time," Akane said blushing.  "And
how would that prove you're a woman?"
   "Right Ukyou," said smirking nervously as he
reluctantly left to get his water. <<

It is difficult to discern who is saying what. A few
words in the right
places should do the trick.

"Right, Ukyou," 

should be

"Right, Akane,"

I fixed that on ff.net

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=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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