Subject: [FFML] [OMG/R.5]Marriage Wishes 4
From: Thryth
Date: 4/11/2002, 2:07 PM
To: FFML mailing list <ffml@anifics.com>, Ranma Fiction List <ranmafiction@yahoogroups.com>, Ranma 1/2 List <ranma1-2@yahoogroups.com>, Chorus of Ryouga and Ukyou Fan Fic List <newchorus@egroups.com>, "Cory D. Rose" <ertle2@msn.com>


Learning

   "I'm waiting!" Mara said, hostility dripping from
her voice.
   "Divine wish," Urd gasped out.  Mara blinked for a
moment and the grip on Urd's throat loosened as Mara
transferred her hand to the collar of Urd's robes.
   "What did you say?" Mara asked, eyes narrowed. 
"Are you trying to tell me that MY daughter received a
divine wish?  And she wished to roll in the hay with
you?  I didn't think goddess's were supposed to lie,
Urd.  That is the worst lie I've ever heard."
   "Kodachi didn't make the wish, Mara," Urd said. 
"She's part of it."
   "And this wish requires you to teach her magic so
she can fuck you as a guy?" Mara growled.
   "That was her idea," Urd said trying to maintain
her cool.  "We're supposed to get married.  Heh..." 
Mara blinked and shook her head out at that.
   "WHAT WAS THE WISH, URD!?!" she demanded angrily.
   "The wish says that she, myself, and five other
people are supposed to be happily married to each
other," Urd said simply.  Mara blinked and pulled away
from Urd.
   "What five other people?" Mara asked, leaning
herself against a wall.
   "Damn, Mara," Urd said dusting herself off. 
"Again?!"
   "What five other people?" Mara asked.  Urd sighed
and decided to start with the two males first.
   "Ranma Saotome," Urd said and saw Mara wince. 
"Ryouga Saotome, Ukyou Kuonji, Akane Tendo, and
Shampoo daughter of Silk."  With each name Mara winced
again.
   "You're facing the furies, and two second class
demons," Mara said glummly leaning against the wall
and staring down at the sidewalk.
   "I had a run in with them already," Urd said. 
"That cat sort of pushed the issue on Shampoo and
Ranma a little quicker than I wanted."
   "Aitvaras needs to make Ranma the greatest martial
artist of this time period," Mara said.  "Ays needs to
give Ryouga his desire for vengeance against Saotome. 
Megaera needs to help Ukyou settle with the Saotomes
in some manner.  Alecto needs to marry Ranma to one of
the Tendo girls.  Tisiphone was supposed to get
Shampoo a strong husband, and she did that
technically, and sounds like completely from what you
tell me.  She just needs to ruin Shampoo's life now
that the wish is fulfilled."
   "Not quite," Urd said, as Mara just outright turned
over this information.  She had guessed some of it
already from her mini-self's encounter last night, but
Mara had just filled in the blanks.  "Shampoo
consummated the marriage with Ranma in the wrong
gender, so she has a strong wife by her people's laws
now."  Mara looked up and nodded with a sort of
irritable smirk.
   "I'm on assignment already, so you don'y have to
worry about me," Mara said.  "Unless they outright
order me to interfere.  And I'd rather not have
another kid haranguing me through the centuries if at
all possible."
   "You could interfere if you wanted to, Mara," Urd
said.  Mara looked at her as if she were crazy.
   "Do you know what would happen to...me if I tried?"
Mara asked.  "And don't even bother giving me that
'forgiveness is eternal' crap.  Keep the kid away from
me, Urd."  Mara spoke grimmly and then she leaped back
and vanished in a puff of smoke.
   "How long is she going to let them do this to her
before she gets a clue," Urd wondered.  
   It was perfectly easy for her to understand the
true forgiving nature of heaven above.  She herself
had been a demon and then been accepted back as a
goddess.  Her understanding of the demonic frame of
thinking might have been broader than most gods, but
it was still very limited.
   She shook her head and looked for the nearest
television.

*******

   "Hey, Akane," Ukyou said, turning to the other
girl.  "Akane, I'm talking to you."  
   Akane was still very reluctant to look at her, but
eventually did, relaxing as no daydreams were created
by seeing Ukyou's face.  Ukyou looked confused at the
behavior
   "What is with you these last two days?" Ukyou
asked.
   "Umm, Ukyou," Akane said.  "Do you mind if I call
you Ucchan?"  Ukyou blinked and her head shot back in
confusion.  Talking to Urd yesterday had gotten her
thinking, and last night she'd had a dream that
started like that.
   ~Where did that come from?~ Ukyou wondered,
absently mirroring Akane's thoughts as the other girl
began to suddenly look very embarrassed.  Ukyou noted
the growing blush and felt one of her own starting.
   "It's just that, you're my friend," Akane said
suddenly.  "That's all...that's all."
   "Uhh, sure," Ukyou said hesitantly.  "I...guess
that would be alright."
   "Thanks," Akane said, suddenly feeling much better
for some reason.  "So what did you want?"
   "Where's Ranma," she asked.  "I want to talk to him
too."
   "I don't know where the baka is," Akane said in her
normal mix of worry and anger.  "He never came back
home last night."
   "You and he had a fight again," Ukyou said, not
asking a question.  "Look, just, well we need to talk
about the new fiancee so let's meet after school at my
place.  Okay?"
   "Yeah," Akane said.  "Sure.  Will Konatsu be
there?"
   "No, Sugar," Ukyou said.  "He goes off and trains
every four days or so."
   "Oh," Akane said conversationally.  "So it will
just be us then?"
   "Unless we see Ranma or one of the others before we
get there," Ukyou said.  Akane nodded in understanding
and then noticed the door about to open to let in the
teacher.
   "It's a date," she said, noticing Ukyou blush
brightly in response.  Akane blinked and winced before
turning back to face forward, turning bright red. 
~Damn it, I KNOW she cast a spell on me.  I can't get
the image of Ukyou out of my head now.  Arrrggghhh! 
Maybe she didn't notice.~
   Of course, said spell had already worn out so that
not even a small bit of it was left.  Still, as long
as Akane was convinced the spell was there she had an
excuse for her thoughts.
   ~Oh my goodness!~ Ukyou thought, staring straight
ahead and trying to fight down her blush.  ~She's
coming on to me.  Akane's coming on to me!  What do I
do?  Ummm, stay calm.  Probably my imagination
anyway.~
   Both girls glanced surreptitiously toward the
other, and then bolted their eyes to the front as they
made eye contact.
   ~Definitely not my imagination,~ Ukyou thought
desparately.  ~Well, I'll just have to tidy up my room
before she...errr...let her down easy...that's right.~
   ~She noticed,~ Akane thought to herself.  ~Okay,
I'll just have to apologize for being so forward...I
mean tell her I'm not myself.~
   They concentrated on the lesson for a couple of
seconds.
   ~My room is a total mess,~ Ukyou whined internally.
 ~How the hell am I going to get it clean before she
gets up there?~
   ~A little forward is good,~ Akane reasoned.  ~Ukyou
likes a little forward.  Just not Tsubasa forward.~ 
One of the remaining mini-Urds sat in the rafters and
giggled madly as she rubbed her hands.

*******

   "Where the?" Ryouga panted wearily as she
discovered herself standing in front of her house. 
"How'd I get here?"  
   She looked around confused and then shrugged,
scratching her head in confusion.  Then she lugged her
heavy feet into the building, dragging her pack and
umbrella behind her.  Since she was here, she might as
well get some hot water.
   She walked into the building and noticed that there
were some backpacks in the hallway next she set hers.
   "Mom and Dad are home," she said, surprised, and
then looked down at herself and acquired a very
worried expression.  
   She cautiously peeked into the main room and looked
around before beginning her quest for the kitchen.  It
had been cleaned since the last time she had been
there, but the only thing she saw out of the ordinary
was the creepy little doll on the sofa.  The one that
seemed to be alive and watching her.
   She tip-toed in the room, trying to guess where her
parents might be.  Being caught in an unfamiliar body
by her parents was not a good idea.  They tended to
fight first and ask questions much later, quite
unreasonable in her opinion, really.
   Ryouga had no idea how completely hypocritical that
statement was.
   No one was in the main room.  So now all she had to
do was get to the kitchen or bathroom before anyone
noticed her.  She reasoned that she had at least a
twenty percent chance of hitting ONE of those rooms. 
The odds were good.
   Ryouga didn't notice the "doll" standing up and
following her silently and curiously.  By some miracle
she managed to make it to the kitchen on her first
try.  She glanced in and looked toward the bulk of the
kitchen, which included the sink.  
   Seeing nobody, she smiled and tip toed on her way
to the sink, not noticing the rather surprised woman
in the small end of the kitchen behind him.  Aki froze
in mid gesture of raising her cup of tea to her lips. 
Though the gesture was quickly resumed.
   The fact that she was drinking tea probably saved
Ryouga from a great deal of panicky running and trying
to explain things verbally.  Aki loved her tea.  She
hated to break off from her tea.  She was perfectly
content to let this potential assassin do whatever it
was she came do while she finished said cup of tea.
   In fact, once she and Jiro had been caught in a war
on one of the other worlds they had travelled to
simply because she had heard that there was this truly
wonderful teas made by this one person on the world. 
This would sound like a mere bad timing coincidence if
one didn't know that Jiro and Aki had been to the
world before. 
   There week on the world had resembled the
introductory scene of "Saving Private Ryan."  All
because they had ruined some mega-powerful sorceress's
dinner on their arrival.  It would be too soon if Aki
and Jiro never heard the term "dragon cuisine" ever
again.
   They had collected some lost artifact for Hermes,
or was it Gabriel that time?  Anyway, upon returning,
in more or less one piece, they had both sworn that
they would never even say the world's name ever again.
 
   About twenty minutes later Kishijoten had asked Aki
if she had tried those teas.
   The tea she was drinking was one of that particular
blend.  She had about twenty packages left and planned
to make them last for quite a while.  If she went too
soon Jiro might balk about going back to get more from
the nice dragon.  She only wished she could make it as
well as Filia could.
   At the moment she was quietly celebrating her son's
engagement, and thinking of interesting ways to kill
this silly intruder in her home.  Then she would
finish the kettle.  She dearly loved her tea.  And
this was the best tea that she had found yet.
   Meanwhile, Ryouga had turned on the hot water tap
and stuck her hand under it, waiting for the water
temperature to increase.  It happened to hit just the
right point as his mother was taking another sip of
tea.
   Aki spat the tea out in shock upon seeing the
intruder become her son.  The remainder of the cup
spilled over the floor, and the kettle itself was
knocked violently to the side upon contact with her
elbow.
   Has it been mentioned that Aki loved her tea?
   "Mom? Urk!" Ryouga gasped turning around to see his
mother staring at him wide-eyed, not yet aware of the
waste of her tea.  Ryouga on the other hand was quite
aware and had lost his capability to speak.
   "Ryouga you...you..." Aki pointed to the sink and
her son with the cup.  Her eyes were suddenly focused
on that cup.  "MY TEA!!!!"
   "What's--?" Jiro paled as he saw the situation. 
Rakshasha possessed of a berserker rage that they used
in battle to greatly enhance their physical power. 
But...Aki loved her tea.  "Oh no!  Aki calm down!  He
just got here, we have to tell him the news!"
   "MY TEA!" Aki growled, human illusion vanishing. 
The mini-Urd was impressed and nervous.
   "It's not working dad," Ryouga said in a tiny voice
and getting ready to run.  
   He just knew what was coming next.  Well he didn't
for sure.  Some task certainly, but he wasn't certain
quite what yet.  He just hoped that this time it had
nothing to do with shrubberies and herring.
   "Look, I'll..." he paused.  "We'll pick you up
another box next week, okay?"  Aki's rage vanished in
a flash and she turned to her husband with a cutely
smiling face.
   "Really?" Aki asked.  Jiro had lost most of his
skin tone as he resigned himself to the suicide
mission later and nodded.  She turned back to a
relieved Ryouga and scowled.  "RYOUGA!!  Dishes! 
Now!"
   "Hai, mother," Ryouga said, meek and relieved.  No
impossible task for him this time it seemed.  He
immediately started to work on the dishes.  "You'll
probably wondering why I was a girl, aren't you?"
   "We'll get to that after a moment," Aki said
dismissively.  "Ryouga Hibiki, I'd like to introduce
you to one of your fiancees."  She indicated the
mini-Goddess that had been there guest the past couple
of days.  Ryouga turned around slowly and looked at
the doll curiously.
   "I'm engaged to a doll?" Ryouga asked, confused.
   "Hmph," mini-Urd said.  "If you think I'm a doll
now, what did you think of my full bodied self when I
met you the other day?"  Ryouga looked closely at the
talking doll, and refrained from freaking out.
   "Y..y..you're that goddess," he said surprised.
   "Part of her, yep," she said.  "Main real self is
sort of entertaining one of your other soon to be
spouses."
   "What?" Ryouga asked, confused and mind threatening
to cease function.
   "Urd came to announce her intention to include you
in part of a multiple marriage," Jiro explained.  "We
approved the situation."  He sided up to Ryouga and
elbowed him with a wink.  "A goddess and five women
out for you, eh?  Reminds me of..." he noticed Aki's
look.  "Err...congratulations son."
   "Uh...what five women?" Ryouga asked.
   "Prepare yourself for a shock, you know them all,"
mini-Urd said smirking.  "Shampoo, Akane, Ukyou,
Kodachi and Ranma."
   Ryouga responded in the manner of an Amazon male as
demonstrated by Shampoo earlier in that day.
   He fainted.

*******

   "She's awake," Shampoo heard Ranma say.
   "He's awake," Cologne corrected.  "Ranma, I know it
will take a while for you to get used to the idea, but
as far as Amazons are concerned, Shampoo is your
husband.  In the presence of other Amazons you should
treat him as such.  As well as avoiding that form as
much as possible."
   "The only other Amazons out here are you and
Mousse," Ranma said.  Shampoo sat up and saw that he
was definitely in male form.  "So I don't have to
worry about it.  And I wouldn't either way."
   "Tell me, Ranma," Cologne said.  "Do you wish to
return to China?"
   "Not any time soon?" Ranma said firmly.  "If at
all."
   "Then you will need to face a challenge to begin a
new village," Cologne said.  "Or the elders will come
en masse to force you and all your betrothed's back to
Joketsuzoku."  Ranma seemed to consider that.  "Even
you couldn't fight them all off."
   "Aiya," Shampoo said, noticing she was back in
female form and dressed.  She hoped Ranma had done
that.  "Is bad dream, yes?"
   "Aren't you one to talk?" Ranma asked, snapping at
Shampoo.  "You started this junk."  Shampoo winced.
   "Despite her use of certain pressure points in ways
that violated the center point of all our laws,"
Cologne said sharply, causing Shampoo to wince even
further.  "Shampoo might not be entirely at fault."
   "What do you mean?" Ranma asked.  "I already said I
jabbed her after she jabbed me." ~And then she jabbed
me.~  He flushed slightly but managed to keep the
reaction down.
   "I was not talking about you daughter-in-law,"
Cologne said.  She reached behind her and retrieved a
scroll to present to Shampoo.  "This is a letter from
your mother to me, Shampoo."
   "But, Shampoo mother is dead," Shampoo said,
surprised.  "It come from before grandmother go
crazy?"
   "No," Cologne said.  In the rafters above a
mini-Urd listened carefully.  "Judging by the
contents, your mother wrote this while she was in
heaven."  The mini-Urd fell off the rafter and smacked
into the table below.
   "I know I should have checked that thing before she
put it in the case," the mini-Urd muttered.  Shampoo
and Ranma gathered around the mildly concussed
mini-Urd and stared at her in mild astonishment.
   "Strange white-hair woman get very small," Shampoo
said.
   "This is my new fiancee?" Ranma asked.  "An
oompa-lumpa?"  The response was a mini-Urd bolt to his
face.
   "Oompa lumpa!?" Urd said, mildly astonished.  "For
your information I am just one part of your newest
finacee, Ranma Saotome.  Since Silk seems to have told
the old woman everything, anyway, I should tell you
that I am the Second-Class Goddess Urd, one of the
three Norns.  I'm certain mother-in-law can explain
everything else."
   "Actually," Cologne said.  "Silk told me that you
were a valkyrie sorceress.  I had no idea that you
were a goddess."  The mini-Urd facefaulted.
   "If you DIDN'T know that I'm here because of Nodoka
Saotome's divine wish," mini-Urd asked.  "Why'd you
assume there were demons involved?"
   "Uhh...this is my Mom's fault?" Ranma asked.
   "Because she apparently learned that all of the
mortals on that list were the center point of one
demonic wish or another," Cologne said.  Everybody
stared at Cologne in unveiled shock.
   "They're the targets of a demonic wish?" mini-Urd
said sheepishly.
   "Targets?" Ranma and Shampoo said together.
   "Did everyone BUT me know about that?" Urd asked
from the doorway.  The mini-Urd blinked and then
hopped over to her prime self and vanished into the
goddess.  All present goggled.
   "May I start by saying that the only thing I could
do to correct Aitvaras's work was to give Shampoo a
little attack of conscious?" Urd asked.
   "Ranma," Cologne said, after finally gaining her
voice.  "This is your fiancee, don't you have
something to do?"
   "What do you me..." Ranma grumbled.  "You're
kidding right?"
   "I'm afraid not," Cologne said.  "The fact that you
have other ties will not be accepted by the council. 
They either all become Amazons or they die.  Granted a
goddess is beyond even THEIR reach, but you might as
well get used to it."
   "Have her do it," Ranma said, pointing at Shampoo.
   "What was that?" Urd asked.
   "HE," Cologne said, eliciting a wince from Shampoo.
 "Is not given the right to accept new members into
the household, you are."
   "Fine," Ranma said and stood up reluctantly to
approach Urd.  A bucket of water changed Ranma to what
Cologne now considered HER proper form, a fact for
which she received a glare from her daughter in-law.
   "Do it right," Cologne said.
   "Look there are some important matters to go over
before we get to the fun stuff..." Urd said before
Ranma glomped Urd.
   "Wo ai ni," she said sort of off-handedly before
kissing her.  
   Urd, of course for her part was not about to let
someone kiss her as if it were a chore, and proceeded
to, as a matter of pride, give Ranma the full benefit
of her skill.
   Ranma's eyes popped wide as Urd responded and her
hands started to roam.  After a few shocked moments
she began kissing in earnest, vainly trying to match
the situation.  
   The situation might have continued, and was already
attracting Shampoo, but Cologne had decided that the
proper forms had been made and interrupted it by
smacking her daughter-in-law on the head.
   "Oww!" Ranma said, backing off.  "What was that
for?"  As she asked, Cologne was likewise bonking
Shampoo.
   "You were not invited, Shampoo," Cologne said. 
"Just because your wives might give you leeway does
not mean I shall."
   "Shampoo getting tired of being man," Shampoo said.
 It was a very funny statement coming from her in girl
form.
   "As Urd said," Cologne reminded them.
   "There is the demon business to discuss," Urd
finished.

*******

   Genma smiled as he walked out of the city office. 
It had been remarkably easy to get the boy's girl form
registered as a separate person.  Knowing nothing of
the ultimate force, Genma alloted it to his own skill
for pulling a scam.  Whatever the case, Ranko Saotome
was now an official person.
   "Now he can marry Akane and Ukyou and the family
honor will be appeased," Genma said happily.  "Too bad
he can't have a third identity.  Then he could marry
that boy Kuno too, and get all that money."
   Genma walked along for a moment apparently deep in
thought.
   "Now all I have to do is find Kuno," Genma said. 
"I'm certain he'll go wild over the chance to marry
his beloved pig-tailed girl.  He'll probably even pay
me up front!  And then Ranma can marry Akane and still
earn me all those millions of yen."
   Just where Ukyou had vanished to in Genma's mind is
probably something better left unimagined.

*******

   "So, ummm," Akane said.  "Not open for business?"
   "Not today," Ukyou said.  "I have to run inventory
one day out of the week and Monday's usually the best
time.  So we...uhmm...won't be interrupted...talking."
   "Right, talking," Akane said.  "About the new
fiancee and how she wants to marry all of us."
   "Yeah, her," Ukyou said, her eyes floated to her
stairs for a moment.  "Excuse me Akane, I have
to...tidy up a little, I'll be right back."  She was
off almost in a blink."  Akane set her jug down and
took a breath.
   "I think I scared her," Akane said.  "I'll tell her
when she gets back down, I didn't really mean to..." 
She blinked and caught her reflection in Ukyou's
spotless grill.  "Ahh!  I forgot to shower after gym,
I've got to stink."
   Megaera watched invisibly and considered the
situation.  Her charge and Saotome's reluctant fiancee
alone together in Ukyou's house.  Lots of blushing and
nervous dancing around words.  Ukyou tidying up her
room, and Akane primping.  She smirked as a new
thought occured to her.
   She did wonder where Akane had gotten the
nannichuan though.  It was like there were gallons of
the stuff floating around or something.  Shampoo had
had it, Akane had it.  Where was it all coming from? 
Wasn't Jusenkyo thousands of miles away?  Wasn't the
nannichuan destroyed?  Where in Hell was the stuff
coming from?!!?!  It was EVERYWHERE!!
   Anyway, stealing Ranma's love was certainly away to
'settle' with the Saotomes.  Alecto could just marry
Ranma to one of the other Tendos anyway.  She just had
to make certain that Akane discovered she had been
used and take out appropriate vengeance on Ukyou.
   "Great," mini-Urd whispered, skittering along the
walls.  "Megaera, what's she doing here?  Is she
assigned to ruin this wish?"  She watched the demon
walk upstairs, obviously to influence Ukyou somehow.
   The mini-Urd floated up behind Akane and whispered
insistently.  The sound of a thump from upstairs gave
her a quick idea.
   "Ucchan needs you!" she said.  Akane, who had been
in the process of opening her jug of water, gasped and
rushed upstairs.  The mini-Urd followed cautiously,
and was greeted by the sight of a second fury.
   "There are three Tendo daughters Alecto," Megaera
said irritably.  "After Akane sullies herself Soun
will insist one of the other two take over the
engagement."
   "You don't understand!" Alecto growled.  "I've been
setting this up for a long time, he is dead set on
Akane, it'll take forever to get him to change his
mind."
   "You should have kept your options opened, little
sister," Megaera said.  "I've got my job finished
here.  As soon as I make sure that Ukyou has the right
mindset."
   "Over my dead body, Megaera," Alecto growled
starting to power up.
   "Fine I'll come back and plant the suggestion after
the fact then," Megaera said.  "Let's settle this
outside, sister!"  The mini-Urd sweatdropped as the
two demons vanished to begin their little duel.
   "Ucchan!" Akane said.  "Are you all right?"
   "Akane!" Ukyou said desparately as she crawled out
from under a pile of dirty linen that had apparently
buried her.  "You weren't supposed to come up here
yet...it's err...a little messy.  I keep the towels
from the restaurant up here."
   "Ohh," Akane said, relieved.  "That's fine, I
thought someone had kidnapped you or something." 
Ukyou snickered.
   "We've been around Ranma too long," Ukyou said. 
"That actually sounds plausible."
   "Yeah," Akane said.
   They were both quiet for a moment and fidgetted,
looking around the room.
   "So...ummm...," Akane started nervously, "about
this woman that wants to marry us all...She told Dad
something about two identities, so two people could
share him I guess."  
   She quietly poured herself a small glass of water
out of her jug.  Ukyou sighed and stepped up to stand
in Akane's face and look at her nervously.
   "Let's save that for when Ranma's around later,"
Ukyou said, blushing.  "You didn't...really...come
to...uh...talk...did you?"  The last sounded uncertain
and Ukyou turned away momentarily.
   "I didn't mean to..." Akane sighed and looked over
Ukyou and glancing away embarrassed.  "No I guess
not..."  She took the cup of water and quickly
splashed herself in the face and rubbed it into her
skin in case this was a daydream.
   "I...guess that I didn't bring you to talk either,"
Ukyou said quietly she turned around and caught sight
of Akane splashing herself and growing several inches.
 "A...Akane?!"
   "Why are my panties..." Akane paused at the
changing of voice.  "...crushing me?"  
   She looked down and noticed her change.  Most
noticeably the pain as her clothes weren't designed
for such a body.  That was something the daydream had
lacked.
   "AHHH!!" Akane flailed back in a near random
direction, sending the jug flying into, predictably,
Ukyou.  
   Being in a boys uniform didn't help Ukyou much, the
change still caused a painful confrontation between
his body and certain underneath wear.  He had to snap
his chest bindings quickly or they would have crushed
his ribs before breaking.  
   Compared to the discomfort from his panties,
however, that was nothing.  He and Akane both tried to
relieve themselves of those constricting garments
quickly.  Akane had an easier time, once overcoming
shock, as he was wearing a dress.  Ukyou had to drop
his pants first.
   "Where the hell did the nannichuan come from?!"
Ukyou demanded.
   "I...I...It was outside the dojo," Akane said.
   "Maybe a trap?" Ukyou growled.  "Shampoo?"
   "Urk, not a good thing," the mini-Urd thought.  She
floated up to Akane's ear, still invisible.  "If she
brought it she left it by accident, it was outside the
wall, any vagrant could have picked it up all night." 
This mini-Urd hadn't actually seen the situation, but
could guess well enough.  Fortunately, a guess wasn't
lying.
   "I don't think so," Akane said.  "It was left
outside where anybody going by could have taken it or
thrown it away or whatever."
   "Shit," Ukyou said, trying slip on his pants again.
 ~This ruins the mood.~ "I'll get us some hot water." 
He felt both relieved and disappointed.
   "Do you want to let this chance past?" the mini-Urd
asked Akane.  "Say something before the mood
completely dies."
   "Umm, I uh, don't need any yet," Akane said.  Ukyou
stopped and stared at Akane in surprise.  So did the
mini-Urd, she hadn't quite expected that. 
"Errr...depending on you anyway...uh...Ucchan."
   "Wh...wh...wh...what do you mean?" a furiously
blushing Ukyou asked.
   "Remember yesterday in the bathroom," Akane said.
   "You were sort of looking at me..." Ukyou said. 
"Uhh...Akane, you were...umm...thinking about me then
weren't you?"
   "You, me and...uh...some nannichuan," Akane
admitted, flashing occasional glances at Ukyou. 
"And...uh..."
   "Go for it," the mini-Urd said.  "You're on a
roll."  Akane took a deep breath and strode up to
Ukyou and added in a gentle tone, stroking his cheek.
   "I'd just like to prove to you that you are a
woman," he said, remembering something of the line he
had used before.
   "Oh kay," Ukyou said shakily.  
   Then Akane hesitantly leaned in to kiss Ukyou.  It
wasn't as skillful as Urd's kiss certainly, but in a
lot of ways it was just as good for both of them.  And
then they broke apart for a moment.  All the while the
mini-Urd was cheering them all intangibly present.
   "Are you sure we need any hot water?" Ukyou asked
after a moment.
   "One fantasy at time," Akane said blushing.  "And
how would that prove you're a woman?"
   "Right Ukyou," said smirking nervously as he
reluctantly left to get his water.  "Maybe we'll save
this for when there's a redhead to sandwich, eh?"  The
joke was nervous, but came through mostly strong as
Ukyou left.
   Akane smiled at the thought.
   "Now about those demons that might come back," Urd
thought.

*******

   "Hello?" Jiro answered the phone.  "Who is this? 
Urd?  Well, you are you here, yes, sort of?"
   "What do you mean I have to marry Ranma?!" Ryouga's
voice demanded as he and his mother and the mini-Urd
discussed his engagement.
   "No just a mini-you," Jiro said.  "Errr...We're not
really...uh...equipped to handle a...uh...two
first-class demons.  Well, maybe we can distract them
for a while."
   "I will not marry that jerk!" Ryouga declared. 
"He's ruined my life!?  I hate him!  I don't care
about your wish or whatever!"
   "It's not everyday that a goddess asks for your
hand in marriage, Ryouga," Aki said.  "And this Ranma
Saotome is well talked of among the valkyries and
einherjar, umm...him?"
   "Well, that's your choice," the mini-Urd said. 
"But if you really hated him, heaven wouldn't have
allowed this particular wish to go through.  Somewhere
you have care a little for him."
   "Him?" Aki said again, a little more insistantly.
   "Excuse me," Jiro said interrupting.  "But another
of Urd's mini's wants us to...umm...distract a couple
of FIRST CLASS demons from either interrupting or
corrupting two of your spouses' first time
together..."
   "Ehhh?"
   "What?" Urd said.  "TWO demons, what kind of fire
power are they sending against this one wish?  Who are
the couple?"  Again, she hadn't yet been given the
information her prime self had.
   "I think she said Ukyou and Akane," Jiro said.  
   "HIM!?!?" Aki demanded.
   "Yeah Mom, Ranma's a guy!" Ryouga said. 
"Wait...demons...Ukyou and....Akane?!"  Ryouga's nose
threatened to overwhelm him.
   "Ranma's a man and a girl," mini-Urd said.  "Like
your son here."
   "Ohh," Aki said.  "That's all right then."
   "MOM!!!" Ryouga roared, temporarily forgetting the
other thing.
   "What?" Aki asked, then she blinked.  "Did you say
FIRST CLASS demons?"  Jiro nodded.  Aki turned to the
mini-Urd angrily.
   "WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!!?" she demanded. 
"HIMURA KENSHIN?!?!"
   "Honey, its a manga," Jiro said.  "He's NOT real,
not like we are." ~I'M supposed to be the berserker,
sheesh.~
   "And I'm not the one asking!!!" mini-Urd said.  "I
am...errr...the other I am!!"
   "Oh come on," Ryouga said.  "Akane's in danger!!" 
And with that Ryouga started to run out the door,
until Jiro caught him.
   "We'll teleport," Jiro said.  He turned to the
mini-Urd  "You gave me the address."
   "I'LL teleport!" Aki said.  "You can't target
places, only beings."
   "Just hurry!" Ryouga said.
   "And don't interrupt Akane and Ucchan!" mini-Urd
said.  This nearly incapcitated Ryouga.


=====
"Caffeinated Kender?  What's that, a berserk spell?" - 
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
"God has to have a sense of humor, it's the only explanation for sex." - my father
"I have to write a how-to paper for class, so I'm writing a paper on how to be psuedo-evil." - my brother

http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html

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