Thryth wrote:

   "What are you doing, Akane?" Nabiki asked coolly.
Akane turned to her and blinked in confusion.
   "To school, where else?" Akane demanded of her.

I don't think that's the right way to describe it.
Perhaps "answered defensively"?

   "No, you're recovering," Nabiki said.  "Stay at
home and let's figure this out."
   "You don't really believe that Yuka is dangerous do

Comma after "dangerous"

you?" Akane asked.  "It had to be some trick that
Ranma pulled."
   "Nabiki is right to be cautious," Kasumi said
bringing in breakfast to set on the table.  "Please
sit down, Akane."
   "Oh my girls!" Soun wailed.  "I have let my own
folly condemn you to this fate."  Nabiki and Akane
rolled their eyes.
   "Oh father, father, father," Kasumi sighed, shaking
her head.  "You should really have thought this
through a little cautiously."  Seeing that Kasumi was
giving him even gentle reproach sent Soun into deeper
paroxyms of grief.
   "So what do we know here?" Nabiki asked, getting to
the point.  "Very little, there are three supernatural
factions at work within the Nerima area..."
   "Three?" Akane screeched.  "What else is there?"
   "Ranma," Kasumi said.  "These demons,
and...ourselves."  She hesitated on the last point.
   "Oh..." Akane said quietly.  Then she growled.
"That's right."
   "Yes, and Ranma told the doctor there was a 'bad
bunch' out of China that got here ahead of him,"
Nabiki said.
   "That really isn't enough information to proceed,"
Kasumi said softly.  "We need to know what they both
are here for."
   "Then we can tear that lying pervert to pieces for
what he did to us," Akane said angrily.
   "By the way, Akane," Nabiki said.  "I was his
fiancee, he surprised Kasumi, but you never said how
he got your kiss."  Akane flashed beet red.
   "That's not important," Akane said irritably.
"What is important now is getting that jerk, from you
say he even let his sister get hurt last night."
   "Actually I'm not sure of that anymore," Nabiki
said.  "Ranma's 'sister' had a much more identical
scent to his than we do to each other."
   "You said they were both foxes," Kasumi noted.
Nabiki nodded, though looking around at the three of
them, sparrow, tanuki, and dog, made the thought of
two foxes in the same family seem odd.
   "In any case we need information," Nabiki said.  "I
think I know how to get some.
   "You mean..." Akane paused, remembering how the
dogs howling in the night before had been howling
words during her brief time in hybrid form.
   "I...suppose that is the safest way," Kasumi said.
"Oh dear...that'll be hard on you, Nabiki, there

What if Nabiki had meant, "I'm going to call this pal of
mine in the Yakuza"?

aren't all that many tanuki in this day and age."
   "It'll be harder on Ranma," Nabiki said smirking.
"And sparrows and dogs are everywhere."
   "The first idiot to try to send me to the pound
gets hurt," Akane promised irritably.

************

   "It's no use, Grandmother," Shampoo said coming
back as she dropped from the window onto her feet.
The former amazon now had a pair of violet blooms
braided into her hair, decorations that carried into
her cat form.
   "You could find no information then,
Granddaughter?" Cologne asked.
   "I found too much information," Shampoo said.  "The
fox is here, the fox is there, the fox is everywhere,
the fox is nowhere.  They think the fox runs away
before the cats can see him.  Maybe he knows I am
looking for him this way?"
   "More likely he is avoiding the cats for other
reasons," Cologne said.  "Are friend Ranma has

Our

suffered the neko-ken training according to his own
mouth."  

his own mouth?  

Shampoo froze in shock, suddenly worried.

"Do not provoke his fear too greatly, and it should
not be a problem.  I dread to think what a creature
like him in the neko-ken would do."
   "Perhaps Mousse's bats will bring a different
tale," Cologne said
   She looked up into the ceiling as the named person
dropped to the floor and yawned.  Shampoo's yawn
matched his, and she followed it by smacking her lips
a little.
   "You will both be able to get some more sleep
soon," she promised.
   "You don't have to sound so testy about it," Mousse
muttered.  "Withered up old monkey."  The resultant
knock on the head almost sent Mousse into a slumber.
   "You respect your elders, Boy," she snapped.  "Now
did you learn anything of import."

Question mark

   "Nothing more than what we learned last night,"
Mousse said, shrugging.  "Bat's don't spend time

Bats

looking for foxes in the night."
   "That leaves us with our other captive," Cologne
said.

   The frightened, shaky hissing surprised Shampoo and
she jumped away from the source of the sound prepared
for a fight.  She'd learned that frightened cats
tended to do stupid things, like think they could take
her.  The pathetic red cat that she saw was hardly
what she was expecting.  There was something strange
about its aura, but she expected that was just the
terror she was seeing.

I have difficulty believing that an ailurophobe would
ever assume the form of a cat.  Unless of course he already
went into the neko-ken.  Of course male cats don't do 
territorial challenges of females.  

   "W...w.why..d..did you step on me!?" the cat asked
shakily.  "I w...w....wasn't doing nothing!"  Shampoo
relaxed and rolled her eyes irritably at the terrified
cat.
   "You're in my way stupid cat," Shampoo said.  "I

comma after "way"

didn't see you."  She tried to go further, but the cat
hesitantly, moving like a superfast, twitchy bullet.
   "D...didn't see me," the cat whined.  "I was
r...r...right in the m....m...middle of the street."
   "Get out of my way," Shampoo said, looming in the
other cat's face.  "Or I'll HURT you!"
   "I...if...if you want my territory," the cat said.
"I....I'll move..."
   "I'm just passing through stupid!!" Shampoo shouted
in a roaring, hissing shout that sent the other cat
cringing.  "Get out of way!"
   At this point the other cat seemed to be shivering
uncontrollably.
   "Hey, you," a shopkeeper said, batting at Shampoo
with a broom.  "Shew, shew, get out of here!"
   Shampoo grumbled angrily and let herself be chased
away.  That girl couldn't be useful anyway, so why
bother going through all the trouble.  It wasn't as if
she HAD any Amazon honor to maintain anymore.  She
didn't see Sayuri step out after the cat had left.
   "Thank you, sir," Sayuri said, then bent down to
the shivering cat, which strangely seemed to be
calming down.
   "I've heard of being afraid of mice," the man said.
 "But alley cats?"
   "I've had problems with that one before," Sayuri
said grimmly, and then looked to the cute little red
cat that had alerted her to the shapechangers present.
 "Poor dear, did that mean little bimbo scare you?
Ahh!  You're cut up all over, that little foreign
bitch!"
   "Err...how could you know that cat is foreign?" the
shopkeeper said.
   "I know who her owner is," Sayuri said, picking up
the cat.  The cat looked up at her blinking and meowed
quite convincingly before snuggling comfortably in the
nice human's arms.
   "Oh, I see that," the man said.  "You said you were
here for violets?"
   "Yes," Sayuri said.
   "Well," the man said.  "Somebody had a fight in
here last night, and most of the violets were
scattered about.  The police wouldn't come, said they
had bigger problems than 'vandals.'  You can have what
you can find.  I can't sell them."
   "Oh thank you," she said.  "I'm not really using
them for decoration anyway."
   "Warding off evil?" the man asked jokingly.  Sayuri
blinked and looked up.
   "Hmmm?" she said.  "Excuse me?"
   "Just a joke," the man said.  "There are a lot of
legends about violets from many parts of the world."
   "Like what?" Sayuri asked.
   "In one myth, they came about from the blood of a
slain god who's mother took the flowers and set them
as decorations to remember him," the shopkeeper said.
"The greeks thought that they were created when Zeus
turned the tears of one of his mistresses into flowers
to provide her food while she hid in the form of a
white cow.  There are many such beliefs."
   "But the warding off evil thing?" Sayuri said.
   "Just one of the mythical uses," he said.  "You
don't believe in that do you?"
   "No..." Sayuri said.  "That would be silly,
wouldn't it kitty."  She blushed as she found herself

comma after "it"

talking to the cat.  ~At least this one won't talk
back to you.  And when I get my hands on that fox,
he'll give me some better answers than just, 'this is
war.'~
   In Sayuri's hands, the person in which the hope of
the world lay calmly considered the tantalizing way
that Sayuri's bangs hung down toward him.
   "Oh stop playing with my hair, you," Sayuri said.
   "You know girl," the shopkeeper said.  "You seem
familiar."
   "Well, I live around here," she answered, noticing
a paper blow by with the headling "girl kidnapped."
She did not want to be found publicly yet, not until
she got somewhere safer, like with Akane.

************

   "The sparrows were...confusing," Kasumi said.
"They had a great deal of information about the
changing of the seasons and the where the best meal

extra "the"

worms can be found, though they've been competing with
the bats for such insects.  At least they were all
quite polite.  Oh yes, I am to watch out for cats
since they have been much more active since last
night."
   "Okay," Nabiki said.  "I struck out too, none of
the tanuki saw a fox in the last week, but they said
they'd keep an eye out.  How about you Akane?"
   "A fox fought a demon on Yuka's street," Akane said
soberly.  "The dog said the fox was losing badly.
Whoever she was she's probably dead, and Sayuri with
her."  Nabiki turned to her sister and laid a hand on
her sister's

Breasts?  

   "I really don't think so," Nabiki said.  "Otherwise
Yuka wouldn't be trying to draw them out with that
news story.  She or it'd make something else up."
   "That still leaves Yuka," Akane said quietly.  "My
two best friends, and ones missing while the other is
taken over by some demon, while I'm in bed because
some pervert wanted to satisfy some weird wet dream."
   "Everything will work out fine," Kasumi promised
her.
   "Tadaima!" a desparate and nervous sounding voice
called out.  "Is anybody here?"
   "Sayuri?" Akane blinked, then she was up and
running as the caller's scent was brought to them.
"What are you doing here?  The news said you were
kidnapped!  Oh, what a cute cat!"  She leaned down
tickled the yawning cat.
   "He got in a fight he shouldn't have," Sayuri said,
she glanced at the speckled brown color of Akane's
hair and sighed nervously.  "Akane, I have to tell you
about Yuka."  Akane turned grave and looked up.
   "I know," Akane said.  "She's possessed by some
demon, and it's all that Ranma's fault!"  The cat in
Sayuri's hand seemed to look at her strange as she
said that, but that had to be imagination.
   "There's more Akane," Sayuri said.  "Umm, is Kasumi
awake yet?  I'd like her to see to...um...Cat here."
~Oh, real original name there.~
   "Yeah, sure," Akane said.  "Hey, wait, how'd you
know about Kasumi."
   "Ranma," Sayuri said simply.  Akane nodded and
narrowed her eyes.
   Nabiki saw the girls come back in with the cat, and
just to be on the safe side looked the cat's aura over
carefully.  Everything seemed perfectly cat like about

cat-like

the little creature.  Nabiki watched a little longer
just to be sure and then paid it no mind.
   "Oh my," Kasumi said.  "What happened to the poor
thing?"

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