[FFML] [Fanfic} From the Minds Eye

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE FORMATTING ERROR!
PLEASE REVIEW! All I have received for this fic is 5 or 6 positive responses on fanfiction.net and absolutely no constructive criticism. PLEASE REVIEW! If there are any long-time fanfic writers who want to stop a first-time writer from starting a continuing series for his first fic... PLEASE REVIEW! I would like to become a better fanfic writer, but cannot if no one tells me what is wrong (if anything) with my fics. PLEASE REVIEW!
Thanks,
Nuclear Twinkie (nucleartwinkie@mindflayers.net)
P.S. After saying this, try to keep those C&C replies to personal e-mail only. I am hoping for a lot of them.

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>From the Mind's Eye
Chapter 1: Soun Tendo

Disclaimer: Guess I need one of these, but anyone who thinks I actually have any rights to these characters, needs pounded in the head with Akane's mallet....LOTS!

{ } = Character Thoughts
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{What a perfectly beautiful and peaceful day this is.}

It was late morning on a spring day. The sky was a crystal clear blue, with high wispy clouds painted across it. The barely perceptible breeze wafting thru the air kept the day cool and refreshing. The leaves in the trees were barely moving, just enough to see the birds whose song filled the air. The peaceful, quietness of the day completed this picture, as if nothing in the world could touch it.

{Yes, what peaceful day}, Soun thought to himself as he lazily sat on the back porch. Soun was wearing his normal dark-brown gi. He was drinking a glass of lemonade and enjoying what promised to be a great day. {Saotome is off working for Tofu. The children are at school, and Kasumi has gone out to do some shopping. At this moment, I have not a care in the world.}

As the morning slipped into afternoon, Kasumi had returned from her shopping and was tidying up the house. No one else had come home yet and the world was decidedly quiet.

Soun was still sitting on the back porch. {It hasn't been this quiet in a long time. The last time I remember it being this peaceful was when...} Soun heavily sighed and fought back the tears that threatened to show themselves. {My wife, oh how I miss you. It was the happiest time in my life. We had been graced with our three lovely daughters. Their laughter filled this home with warmth and happiness.}

{I remember one afternoon I had just gotten back from shopping. You had asked me to buy you some strawberries. They weren't in season then, and I had to go 2 districts over just to get them. It was a long trip, but I would do anything for you. You were so surprised and pleased that I had found some. We gathered the family and sat on the back porch to eat them. Kasumi and Nabiki were running around playing. Akane had managed to pull herself to her feet and was intently staring at the basket of strawberries you held. You beckoned her over, and then she walked. Her first little steps were made right here on this very porch, as she pumped her little legs to get those strawberries. I was so glad to see you happy because of this. I was always pleased to see you happy. Back then, everything was perfect because I had you by my side. Then, it happened. And now...}

Soun started to quietly cry. Not the wailing and bawling he usually did, but a soft, hushed crying in remembrance of the things that were only memories. He didn't cry for long, but it helped to relax him and ease the pain of loss. {The pain will never go away. It may seem to lessen with time, but it will never go away because I will never forget her. Never.}

Soun felt a hand gently being placed on his shoulder. He looked up to see Kasumi looking down at him. "Father, are you all right?" Kasumi asked with a slightly concerned tone.

{She reminds me so much of her mother. I hope Kasumi understands how much she means to this family. How we would not have made it through it all without her.} Soun tried his best to pretend nothing was wrong, but failed miserably. "I'm fine, Kasumi. Everything is fine."

"You've been cooped up in this house all day, haven't you? Maybe you should take a walk to clear your mind. It's such a beautiful day out." Kasumi now seemed as happy and cheerful as ever, with a peace that seemed to emanate from her very being.

"Now that you mention it, that's not a bad idea. Perhaps I will go for a walk and stretch the old muscles. Maybe even visit some old friends."

"Enjoy yourself Father, and make sure you're home in time for dinner," Kasumi said with the peaceful, serene smile only Kasumi could have.

Soun wandered out of the dojo without a care in the world. He didn't really know where he was going, and didn't really care. Randomly picking a direction, Soun started walking. {On days like this a martial artist can reflect on recent happenings and prepare himself for the future. Recent happenings...}

{Why couldn't the wedding just go off as planned? Saotome and I have tried everything we can think of to get those two together, but their lives are more complicated than even I originally thought. What will it take to get those two to admit their feelings to each other and join the schools?}

Soun realized he was now walking thru the Nerima Market district and said hello to a couple of merchants that he passed by. {I remember when I used to walk thru here with you, shortly after we married. Kasumi had just been born, and the dojo was already filled with students. As we walked from one shop to another, it seemed that everyone knew you. You were so naturally charismatic and loved by everyone you met, I felt myself blessed to be your husband. Even though people were congratulating me on the success of the school, I always said the school's real success came from having a woman like you supporting me. Now, Ranma and Akane are my only hope for uniting the schools and bringing greatness to the Tendo Dojo once again. I tried to
continue teaching in the dojo, but without you...}

"Good afternoon, Mr. Tendo!"

"Good afternoon, Councilman Kanjiro." {You always used to tell me I could help the community. Vanquishing demons and such was just the duties of a martial artist. You believed I could help the community in a more active way as a member of the city council. I knew I could too since you had faith in me. I was elected and gained the respect of the community. I tried to do what was right. When you...I tried to continue as if nothing happened. I tried to keep serving my community because you had faith in me, but since you weren't here to support me, I couldn't continue. I miss you so much.}

Soun sighed as he left the market and continued his random wandering. Not caring where he was, Soun's mind wandered back to the one subject that had been hounding him.

{I know they have feelings for each other. I know that those feelings need to be expressed somehow. Maybe something is holding them back? If Ranma would only take responsibility and rid himself of these other fianc�es, maybe this would all be resolved. I certainly am running out of ideas. I thought for sure the wedding three days ago would work. What to do?}

Soun continued to walk aimlessly in an attempt to come up with anything to help the current situation. Going over this situation again and again, he was still no closer to a resolution. He had walked nearly 4 kilometers, and was still left with no ideas.

{The other fianc�es just need to understand that Ranma was promised to my Akane first. That Kuno girl certainly has no right to him, and neither does that Amazon Shampoo. Her Chinese laws are no good here in Japan. As for that okonomiyaki chef Ukyo, she will just have to understand that Ranma's engagement to Akane came first, so it takes precedence. Maybe Saotome can pay her back for the yatai.}

"Why can't they just get married and be happy?" Soun screamed, as he was about to fall into another fit of crying. Something stopped him however, and he suddenly became very silent as he realized where he was. It was very peaceful. The sun was setting, and the last rays of sunlight were streaking thru trees onto everything. He was on the outskirts of Nerima, in front of a Buddhist temple. More precisely, he was in front of the entrance to the temple's burial grounds.

{My dear, loving wife.} This is what sent Soun into a fit of wailing despair. One couple walked by realizing what was happening and where he was. A saddened look crossed their faces as they walked by. Hesitantly, but with determination since he had not done so recently, Soun stepped onto the grounds and towards a spot he would never forget. Crying the whole time, he finally stopped walking and fell to his knees. Weakly, he lifted his head and looked at the tombstone of his dead wife.

{I will stop crying right now. I will not do this in front of her. I will not.} Soun's crying lessened to a small whimper and wet cheeks. His eyes had become puffy and red from crying so hard. Looking right at the tombstone, he started speaking sotto voce.

"My dear loving wife. How I miss you. Not a day goes by that I do not forget you are gone. My love for you has always been strong, and will always be so. I m-miss y-y-ou so, s-so..." Soun broke into another fit of crying and wailing. {I must be strong, for her above anyone else. I must be strong.}

Soun's crying subsided as he continued to talk to his wife. "Our daughters are almost all grown up. Kasumi has turned into a fine young woman and is sure to catch a man any day now. Maybe even that nice Doctor Tofu. Nabiki has such strong business sense. She is sure to be very successful in her life. Akane has become a good martial and will make an excellent heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, if the marriage ever happens."

Soun became even sadder, if that was possible, and the sound of desperation crept into his voice. "Dear, I... I don't know what to do. I have tried everything I can think of to get them together. If only you were here. You would be able to get them together. Without you, I j-just can't..." Soun's hands fell to the earth as he could no longer control the emotional pain. He bowed his forehead to the ground and continued to cry in painful, whimpering, sobs for several minutes until he felt a hand placed on his shoulder.

"Dad..." said a quiet voice filled with love and some of that same pain. Soun looked up to see Akane staring down at him with tear filled eyes.

"Akane, I miss her so much. I see so much of her in you and your sisters. If only..." Soun could no longer cry. The pain was there, but there were no more tears. Akane kneeled down next to her father to hug him in loving condolence.

"I miss her too, Dad. I miss her so much."

Soun cleared his throat and attempted to gain control of himself as their hug ended. "What are you doing all the way out here Akane?"

"It's my turn to put fresh flowers on mother's grave." Akane held up a small bouquet of colorful flowers. She slowly laid them below the marker and said to her father in the most soothing tone she could muster, "Come on, Dad. Let's go home." Soun slowly nodded. He stood up, and without saying anything, put an arm around his daughter as they started to walk home.

As they walked away, Akane looked over her shoulder at her mother's tombstone. {I miss you, mother.}

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NEXT CHAPTER: Akane Tendo

Author's Notes: [UPDATED 03/16/02] This is the first chapter in my continuing series. Each chapter is taken from the viewpoint of a specific character while a greater plot unfolds. I don't know if this has been done before, but I thought I'd try. Please e-mail me with opinions, criticisms, and suggestions. This is my first fanfic, so please be constructive with all C&C. I don't mind being told what someone doesn't like, as long as they provide some direction to make it better. Thanks. (NuclearTwinkie@MindFlayers.net)