Subject: [FFML] Re: [fusion][R1/2/Avengers] Avenging Chapter 9: Ten Rings to Rule Them All II Part B
From: "DB Sommer" <sommer@3rdm.net>
Date: 4/1/2002, 9:32 PM
To:


This bounced the first time. Now I'm resending it. Let's see if it goe
through.


 As work on Dual! continues, and actually nears completion for
an unexpectedly short chapter (first time that's happened in quite a while,
to
 the point at which I just might make it a single one shot) I'll answer
this:

 Brian Randall wrote:


DB Sommer wrote:


     thousands of gallons of water... ever? per second? away beyond
their
sight? It's probably just me (and my C&C of late has been labeled a
crime against humanity) but that sounds like something is missing.

 Not sure what. I'll look it over.


     As always, take my suggestions with a pound of salt.

 No prob. Used most of the grammar errors. you spotted a lot others missed.



 >Captain Japan smirked. "If my name was something as stupid as
Pantyhose, I'd
 >have been happy to call myself just about anything else. Even
something
as
 >lame as 'The Dazzler'."
 >

     Inside-joke senses tingling. Another reference to the comic books?

 Yep. A hero from the disco scene originally. She later lost the disco look
 and became semi-normal for a super hero. At least she wasn't as tacky as
the
 musically oriented Hypno Hustler. Still can't figure out why he wasn't the
 first victim of the Scourge of the Underworld. If there was ever a villain
 that needed put to death, it was that one.



 >"Speed Demon," Mint preened proudly.
 >

    'Speed demon'? So what's the deal with the 'm' and 'w' on his chest?

 They were just squiggly lines. Describing them as an 'M' and 'W' was the
 easiest way to visualize it. They weren't actual letters.


 >Tarou rolled his eyes at his comrade's stupidity. He postured before
the
 >quintet of heroes and boldly proclaimed, "Enough talk. I would ask you
guys
 >to make things easy by giving up, but somehow I doubt you'll see
things
my
 >way. And to be honest, I'd kick the crap out of you anyway even if you
did
 >give up." He grinned evilly and cracked his knuckles.
 >

     Heh.

 Tarou: I am not one of your drab little angstfest bad guys. I don't do
 anything half-assed. It's all or nothing with me.


 >"Why you..." Whatever Tarou was about to say died on his lips.
Instead,
he
 >gave Captain Japan a confused look. "I have absolutely no idea what
that
 >meant. Was it supposed to be an insult or an attempt at bravado? It
wasn't
 >very good if it was either one."
 >

     Yeesh....

 He's right. It wasn't.


 >"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" he shouted, covering his ears and
rolling
on
 >the ground unable to stop himself.
 >

     Thought so....

 Yep. Shows that they're still inexpierence and don't know one another's
 limitations.


 >Tarou backed just out of reach and smirked. "By the time I'm done with
you,
 >I'll have you busted down to Private Parts while you'll be calling me
 >General Bad Ass."
 >

     Ooog. That's bad.

 Thank you.


 >Tarou scowled evilly at the circle of metal. "Hey, Flag Boy, ditch the
 >shield and fight fair."
 >
 >"Okay." Captain Japan hurled the shield like a discus to their left.
 >

     I think I see what's going to happen here.

 Prolly. Ranma gave in way too easy.



 >"Armored foe, turn from that jackrabbit and test a warrior that is
worthy of
 >your mettle."
 >

     Oh, this is too perfect.

 Pretty much. :)


 >Iron Rose turned to see the Swordsman standing before her. He saluted
her
 >once with his katana. "Though it pains to employ my talents against a
woman,
 >I fear my erstwhile comrade in arms would fall before your might. So
it
 >behooves me to relieve you of the burden of this fight. Fear not, for
I
 >shall be as gentle with thee as the wind." He danced forward with his
sword.
 >

     Heh.

 Gentle being a relative term.


 >Underneath her armor, Iron Rose let her teeth gnash together. The way
this
 >imbecile babbled reminded her of her brother. It would be her pleasure
to
 >'relieve him of the burden of this fight.' As a sign of contempt, she
 >targeted his sword rather than the man himself. Without it, he would
be
as
 >useless as... well, as useless as her brother had always been.
 >

     Heh.

 Kodachi: Yes, I could not help but make the comparison between the two
 buffoons. Now I wonder where my missing brother ran off to...


 >Praying it was nothing more than an errant heart palpitation and that
 >Swordsman didn't try to press an advantage, she prayed and rebooted
her
 >armor.
 >

     Even though I've read some of the earlier chapters, I was under the
impression that she'd had a piece of metal lodged near her heart, or the
like, not just a heart condition.

 Quite correct. It's keeping the shrapnal from lodging itself deeper.
Perhaps
 renaming it a 'heart device' or somesuch


lower
 >ribs were broken, or at least bruised. Still, Hawkeye shut out the
pain and
 >fired the arrow at Daredevil's feet.
 >

     How does one fire an arrow from a bow when they've got a stomach
full of foot?

 Elektra retracted her foot after the kick. It's not still there.


 >Instinctively he brought his sword up to block the billy club thrown
at him.
 >He leveled his weapon at Daredevil. "So, you would seek to attack me
when I
 >implore the heavens for an answer to by plea?"
 >

     by plea -- my plea

     Too bad Thor's not there....

 Fight wouldn't last long. It was better this way.


 >chains falling off and harmlessly to the ground. "A challenge? I think
not.
 >And since you have the appearance of a devil, it's obvious you are not
from
 >above, but rather below."
 >

     Chains (as weapons) are about the worst thing that can happen to
most swords. But I'm sure this sword is special, hmm? ;)

 Yep. Adamantium steel, while nowhere near as powerful as true adamantium,
is
 still incredibly durable. It would take repeated blows from the Hulk or
Thor
 to crack. Daredevil's chains would shatter before they even scratched it's
 surface.


 >"Your sword's disguised to shoots beams of energy, you hypocrite!"
 >
 >"It's not the same thing," Swordsman contended.
 >
 >"It's exactly the same thing!"
 >

     HAH!

 Kunou: I do not acknowledge the loose manner you play with facts. It is not
 the same thing.


 >Senses returned but hands and legs still bound, Speed Demon said,
"Behold
 >the awesome fusion of ancient transformation magic, controlled gamma
ray
 >bombardment, and bad attitude. Where once the man known as Pantyhose
Tarou
 >stood, now there remains only a monster. Witness the majestic
strength, the
 >unimaginable might, the incomprehensible power of... the
A-bra-mination."
 >

     ... that's bad. That's really bad.

 But perfect, you have to admit.


 >
 >"I'll take care of their reinforcements!" Power Man shouted, and hit
the
 >Hulk with a solid right to the jaw, snapping the green goliath's head
back.
 >

     Oh, this should be GOOD.

Good enough for at least one shot. But PM has been pounded on by the big
 three, so he's entitled to a nap. :)

 >Captain Japan turned to the A-bra-mination. "How dare you call the
Hulk
 >stupid and ugly!"
 >

     That was remarkably clever.

 He has his moments. Besides, he was always good at tricking Ryouga, if no
 one else.


 >
 >"Hulk is strong and brushes his teeth all the time!"
 >

     HAH!

 Don't begrudge a monster his oral hygene.

 >coming to rest against the rock of the cavern wall. Luckily, the
impact did
 >nothing to loosen the ceiling of the reinforced chamber.
 >

     Destroying cooling systems (since I maintain (and destroy) dozens
every year) is bad. If a system requires coolant, depriving it of that
is almost a guarantee that something will go hideously wrong. You'd be
susprised how quickly most things burn out without proper coolant,
too...

 Dealt with in the next chapter.
 .

 >
 >"Sure. Every hero has one. It makes life interesting for them when
they pop
 >up and besmirch their good name."
 >

     Every silly story Genma told Ranma is actually USEFULL.

     Well. In some way....

 True.


 >Elektra said nothing as she picked up the fight against him once
again.
 >Captain Japan's counterattack drove the fight to the bridge that
spanned the
 >raging torrent formed on the far side of the reservoir. It was there
the duo
 >entered their dance of violence in earnest.
 >

     Interesting.

 And about to get more so.

 >many minutes, she yelled, "I will not dally around with thy lackeys,
 >villain! Show yourself that we may do battle and decide who is the
mightiest
 >of all!"
 >

     The, er, lack of lackeys doesn't help much....

 Well, the lackeys downstairs, anyway.


 >*Go ahead and try the doors. They're composed of a special
osmium-titanium
 >alloy that you'll never breach. This is your end, intruder!*
 >

     Well, unless the emergency shutdown kicks in from the disabled
coolant systems.

 Nah. Engines are already primed on that bird.


good
 >enough to be called a weak excuse. Sighing, he released his hold and
dove
 >into the water where he had seen the ninja vanish.
 >

     Hmm.

 You'll  see more on that next chapter, of course.


 >Where the Hell had a green, muscle-bound piglet come from?
 >

     *snicker*

 It would be the first question on my mind too.


more for
 >good measure. "That takes care of that." He turned to Speed Demon.
"Pry your
 >buddy out of the wall and have him help out. Swordy, either pick up a
body
 >or throw yourself on your sword. And if you keep staring at me like
that,
 >your body will be joining theirs."
 >

     How is Speed Demon supposed to be able to get himself out of the
chains?

 Tarou got him out of them. It's mentioned a few paragraphs earlier.


 >The Mandarin raised the glass of wine to his lips as he watched the
orbit,
 >and its payload would be released high above the atmosphere. Another
hour
 >for it to activate and move into its proper position after that, and
it
 >would all be over but the bargaining. Within the next forty-eight
hours, the
 >Gods above willing, he would be master of the entire planet.
 >

     Yeah, right.

 Herb: No, really. Some villains have managed it before. I can recall Dr.
 Doom doing it twice in the past, and Kang is doing it now in Avengers. They
 just don't stay leader for long.


 >Sensing something amiss, Thor ducked as stream of fire emitted from
one
of
 >the rings on his left hand. Having been burned quite enough for one
day, she
 >ducked, and heard the flames roar as they came into contact with the
rock of
 >the wall.
 >

     She ducked twice.

 Oops.


 >
 >"Thou didst destroy mine hair!" she raged.
 >

     Hehe....

 Some people cared for it, others didn't. I think it's in keeping with the
 faith, especially since so little else is. :)


 >reached down his throat and into his lungs, sucking the air out.
Within
 >seconds the Mandarin felt on the verge of passing out thanks to the
goddess'
 >vortex. He was pinned so effectively that he couldn't even bring his
rings
 >to bear.
 >

     'sucking the air out' -- you already used 'air' in that sentence,
why not replace the second instance with 'breath'?

 Okay


 >footing and stopped spinning the hammer around, sprawling to the
ground. Her
 >body ached from the effort of producing the whirlwind as it did from
the
 >beam she had been hit with.
 >

     Man, Ifurita would probably love to play with this guy.

 She could pick up ten additional powers from the rings.


 >A laugh erupted from Herb's mouth and echoed throughout the halls of
the
 >Musk Fortress. The world would be his to rule as he pleased, and it
would
 >remain so from now until the end of time.
 >

     Sorry about the delay in getting this to you, and I hope anything I
said helps. :p

 Yep. Pretty much all of it did. And I do hope your little 'End of
 Elimination' post was just an April Fools joke, at least for your sake. :P

 D.B. Sommer





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