On Mon, 01 Apr 2002 11:39:35 -0800 Brian Randall <brian@azurite.org>
writes:

    "I did not think you would make it here alive. I am impressed."

    "Heh. Your little mountain wasn't nothing to me and Herb."

Behind Ranma, Herb muttered curses under his breath, hoping that Ranma
didn't intend to make them walk down Mt. Everest...
 

    "Are you prepared?"

Ranma: Actually, no.  Can I take a rain check?

    "Yes," he whispered, as the two combatants faced one another 
atop 
the arena that capped Phoenix Mountain.

The shadowy figure of Shang Tsung emerged from a nearby door and gestured
for the gongs to be struck.  "Ranma vs. Saffron...Round 1: FIGHT!!!!!!"

    "So it begins," the other said in amusement, rustling his wings 
as 
he faced down the red-robed figure.

    -----------------------------
    End of Elimination

Ooh!

    Disclaimer: The primary colors in this story are from Takahashi, 
Viz 
(Ranma 1/2), Pioneer (Tenchi Muyo!), Akira Toriyama (DragonBall Z), 
and 
Kitty Films, Naoko Takeuchi (Sailor Moon).

    Additional tinting provided by: Takada Yuuzou, and Kodansha (3x3 

Eyes), Takada Yuuzou, and A.D.Vision (Bannou Bunka Nekomusume 
Nuku-Nuku), and of course, Tatsuya Egawa (Goldenboy). The easel is 
mine. 
That's all.

[Due to the internet have exceeded its humor quota for the day, this joke
has been randomly selected for deletion.  We apologize for the
inconvenience. - The MGMT]

    Archival notes: Please do not archive.

    Notes: This is not in continuity. But pretend it's on a much 
more 
expensive screen than the rest of the series.
    -----------------------------

    Saffron spread his wings, grinning, as the nascent red aura 
about 
him thickened, vacillating like a candle in a stiff wind, but 
building 
up higher with each second.

/me chews popcorn.

I can see the larger animation budget already.

    Ranma stood opposite him in a relaxed stance, wearing an easy 
smirk. 
"Let's do this," he said, jerking his head at Saffron in a nod.

Saffron nodded, and inserted two quarters into the arcane, ancient
machine.  "We will settle this in the way of my people... Dance Dance
Revolution!"

    Saffron returned the nod, leaning forward, and shooting across 
the 
field of battle neatly too quickly for Herb's eyes to follow. 

Herb:  Man, was that attack ever neat!

"neatly" - "nearly"

    The boy merely grinned, and vanished, to reappear behind the 
emperor 
of the Phoenix people. "Not bad," he commented.

Saffron:  Do you like fire?  I'm full of it!

    Ranma's smile vanished, and he carefully asked, "You seem to be 
losing, and yet, you are still smiling. Why is that?"

Saffron-Prime:  Because I only seem to be losing.

Saffron-2: Because I'm a masochist!

Saffron-Python: *sings* Always look on the bright side of life...  

    "Because I know something that you do not," Saffron explained, 
crossing his arms over his chest.

    "And what is that?"

    "Unlike you, I've used only a _fraction_ of my true power!"

Saffron:  Now, behold my unparreled ability!

Ranma:  What was that?

Saffron:  All rock in the vicinity has been turned into stone!  Match
that!

    Ranma woke from the dream the same way he always did, but for 
one 
significant difference.

    This time, breathing hard, drenched with sweat, and staring 
upward 
with unseeing eyes, he remembered them. Every aspect -- what had 
once 
been hidden, suddenly made clear. And it made perfect sense, too.

Ranma: Soylent Green is made of PEOPLE!!!!!!

    "It was all a dream," he murmured, finally realizing the truth 
of 
the matter. "No more manga after eating Akane's cooking for me," he 
declared, grinning, and running out of the room.

    With him gone, an errant breeze swept through the open window, 
and 
the door he had not sealed, rustling a small pile of the manga -- 
Tenchi 
Muyo and Sailor Moon lying half-beneath the blanket he had tossed 
aside, 
with the latest issue of DragonBall Z atop them.

Bravo!  A classic ending!  I laughed, I cried!  See End of Elimination in
theters folks!  You won't regret it!

    -----------------------------
    Author's notes:

    It was this, or 50-meter tall naked Tsunami clones and solid 
white 
Juraian issue reavers attacking the Terrafront.

Ooh.  Nifty...

*falls into deep trance*


Aaron Nowack (who realizes that by this point he probably won't be
writing an April Fool's day fic)
"Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis."
http://www.geocities.com/anowack/

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