DB Sommer wrote:
>The cavern was unlike any of the others they had passed. It was huge, and
>had been crafted by the hand of man. Numerous fluorescent lights hung from
>the ceiling, illuminating the vast chamber. The group stood at the
edge of a
>natural hole in the side of the cavern wall. Looking down, they could
see a
>torrent of water the size of a small river, racing several meters below
>their perch. From the opening they could see the tremendous size of the
>chamber. It was easily a hundred meters long and just as wide. A huge
>reservoir of water was contained behind a man-made dam, which allowed the
>water to flow over it and form the river they had heard. Several huge
pipes
>dipped into the reservoir, channeling thousands of gallons of water. The
>loud vibrations and noises coming from the conduits made it easy to tell
>that water was actively flowing through them.
>
thousands of gallons of water... ever? per second? away beyond their
sight? It's probably just me (and my C&C of late has been labeled a
crime against humanity) but that sounds like something is missing.
As always, take my suggestions with a pound of salt.
>The five heroes turned in the direction of the voice. It came from the
>cavern's single exit a large manmade passageway that could accommodate a
>small truck and led upward. Four men stood some twenty meters away.
Two were
>quickly recognized as Power Man and Swordsman. The other two were
strangers.
>One was a somewhat slender man who wore a full body costume. His boots
were
>a light red, as was his trunks, gloves, and the middle of his outfit's
>torso. A deep purple, almost the color of black, covered the legs,
arms, and
>lower and upper torso. A white 'M' and 'W' crossed over one another in red
>section of the upper body. The only part of his flesh that showed was his
>nose and mouth. Red goggles were sewn into his headpiece, covering his
eyes.
>
single exit a -- Extra space. Looks like something's missing, too.
Though since they came in through a different apperature, I think
there's actually more than one exit....
as was his trunks -- as were his trunks (not at all sure about that
one)
covered -- colored (I think)
>Captain Japan turned to Daredevil and pointed to the stranger. "Now
there's
>your gay guy."
>
>"I am not gay!" the man shouted.
>
Heh.
>Captain Japan smirked. "If my name was something as stupid as
Pantyhose, I'd
>have been happy to call myself just about anything else. Even something as
>lame as 'The Dazzler'."
>
Inside-joke senses tingling. Another reference to the comic books?
>"Yeah, It's even dumber than that idiot Whizzer's name," Hawkeye laughed.
>
Whizzer's name -- extra space (though I'm begining to suspect my
e-mail client, as time wears on....)
>"Speed Demon," Mint preened proudly.
>
'Speed demon'? So what's the deal with the 'm' and 'w' on his chest?
>Tarou rolled his eyes at his comrade's stupidity. He postured before the
>quintet of heroes and boldly proclaimed, "Enough talk. I would ask you
guys
>to make things easy by giving up, but somehow I doubt you'll see things my
>way. And to be honest, I'd kick the crap out of you anyway even if you did
>give up." He grinned evilly and cracked his knuckles.
>
Heh.
>"Why you..." Whatever Tarou was about to say died on his lips. Instead, he
>gave Captain Japan a confused look. "I have absolutely no idea what that
>meant. Was it supposed to be an insult or an attempt at bravado? It wasn't
>very good if it was either one."
>
Yeesh....
>"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" he shouted, covering his ears and rolling on
>the ground unable to stop himself.
>
Thought so....
>"Stay down!" he shouted as he held his shield above both his head. A
moment
>later, a loud clang resounded off the protective disc, and a red and flesh
>colored body arced over it to land on its feet with a feline grace
>
both his head -- well, that's a good defensive tactic on his part,
really, but what about Hawkeye? I think you meant 'their' heads. "[
>"Thou dost possess some measure of strength behind thy blows. Now feel one
>that is backed by the true might of Asgard!" Thor meeting of Thor's fist
>with Power Man's flesh sounded like one of her thunderous bolts. The
>villain's body went sailing across the reservoir and into the far
wall. The
>force from the impact embedded him in the side of the cavern, creating a
>crater that resembled a meteorite impact, one that had crashed vertically
>into the rock. The large man hung in the wall, motionless.
>
Thor meeting of Thor's fist -- The meeting of Thor's fist (?)
The 'one that had crashed vertically into the rock' part feels
unneccesary.
>Tarou backed just out of reach and smirked. "By the time I'm done with
you,
>I'll have you busted down to Private Parts while you'll be calling me
>General Bad Ass."
>
Ooog. That's bad.
>Tarou scowled evilly at the circle of metal. "Hey, Flag Boy, ditch the
>shield and fight fair."
>
>"Okay." Captain Japan hurled the shield like a discus to their left.
>
I think I see what's going to happen here.
>"I wouldn't either, sucker." Captain Japan retrieved his shield and
squared
>off with his foe once again.
>
Yep.
>"Armored foe, turn from that jackrabbit and test a warrior that is
worthy of
>your mettle."
>
Oh, this is too perfect.
>Iron Rose turned to see the Swordsman standing before her. He saluted her
>once with his katana. "Though it pains to employ my talents against a
woman,
>I fear my erstwhile comrade in arms would fall before your might. So it
>behooves me to relieve you of the burden of this fight. Fear not, for I
>shall be as gentle with thee as the wind." He danced forward with his
sword.
>
Heh.
>Underneath her armor, Iron Rose let her teeth gnash together. The way this
>imbecile babbled reminded her of her brother. It would be her pleasure to
>'relieve him of the burden of this fight.' As a sign of contempt, she
>targeted his sword rather than the man himself. Without it, he would be as
>useless as... well, as useless as her brother had always been.
>
Heh.
>Praying it was nothing more than an errant heart palpitation and that
>Swordsman didn't try to press an advantage, she prayed and rebooted her
>armor.
>
Even though I've read some of the earlier chapters, I was under the
impression that she'd had a piece of metal lodged near her heart, or the
like, not just a heart condition.
>Her plan came together in a split second. Seeing Elektra aiming a kick at
>her stomach, Hawkeye took the blow rather than dodge so she could draw the
>arrow she needed. The kick hurt, and she suspected one or two of her lower
>ribs were broken, or at least bruised. Still, Hawkeye shut out the
pain and
>fired the arrow at Daredevil's feet.
>
How does one fire an arrow from a bow when they've got a stomach
full of foot? It strikes me as being difficult, but I suppose Hawkeye's
bow might be small enough that Elektra's foot and leg don't get in the
way....
>Instinctively he brought his sword up to block the billy club thrown
at him.
>He leveled his weapon at Daredevil. "So, you would seek to attack me
when I
>implore the heavens for an answer to by plea?"
>
by plea -- my plea
Too bad Thor's not there....
>Spinning his sword in a clockwise motion, Swordsman caught all of the
chains
>with his blade, tying them up in his sword. He then tilted it
downward, the
>chains falling off and harmlessly to the ground. "A challenge? I think
not.
>And since you have the appearance of a devil, it's obvious you are not
from
>above, but rather below."
>
Chains (as weapons) are about the worst thing that can happen to
most swords. But I'm sure this sword is special, hmm? ;)
>He used the blade to toss the egg over his shoulder. He was about to move
>forward when the egg landed, cracking open. Rather than merely leaking
yolk,
>it spilled a volatile substance which created an impressive explosion.
>Swordsman turned to look what had happened then returned his attention to
>Daredevil. "You cad! How dare you engage in such subterfuge,
disguising your
>bombs as harmless foodstuffs! Have you no honor?"
>
>"Your sword's disguised to shoots beams of energy, you hypocrite!"
>
>"It's not the same thing," Swordsman contended.
>
>"It's exactly the same thing!"
>
HAH!
>Senses returned but hands and legs still bound, Speed Demon said, "Behold
>the awesome fusion of ancient transformation magic, controlled gamma ray
>bombardment, and bad attitude. Where once the man known as Pantyhose Tarou
>stood, now there remains only a monster. Witness the majestic
strength, the
>unimaginable might, the incomprehensible power of... the A-bra-mination."
>
... that's bad. That's really bad.
>The Hulk landed in front of Power Man and raised his fists high above his
>head. "Who tried to bury Hulk? Was it you, Not-So-Little-Man? Did you
try to
>bury Hulk?"
>
>"I'll take care of their reinforcements!" Power Man shouted, and hit the
>Hulk with a solid right to the jaw, snapping the green goliath's head
back.
>
Oh, this should be GOOD.
>"I think I'll stay put this time. Good night. " The eyes rolled into the
>back of his head and the world turned black.
>
night. " -- night."
>Captain Japan turned to the A-bra-mination. "How dare you call the Hulk
>stupid and ugly!"
>
That was remarkably clever.
>Captain Japan 'interpreted' the sounds for the Hulk. "He also says he
thinks
>you're weak and have bad breath, but I disagree with him."
>
>"Hulk is strong and brushes his teeth all the time!"
>
HAH!
>At least that was what he thought until the Hulk slammed into him full
>force. Nearly half of the coolant system was destroyed as the
>A-bra-mination's body was hurled through row after row of machinery before
>coming to rest against the rock of the cavern wall. Luckily, the
impact did
>nothing to loosen the ceiling of the reinforced chamber.
>
Destroying cooling systems (since I maintain (and destroy) dozens
every year) is bad. If a system requires coolant, depriving it of that
is almost a guarantee that something will go hideously wrong. You'd be
susprised how quickly most things burn out without proper coolant, too....
>Remembering the results of their last encounter, Captain Japan thought
fast
>and said, "Ah, no, no, no. That was my evil twin brother."
>
>"Evil twin brother?"
>
>"Sure. Every hero has one. It makes life interesting for them when
they pop
>up and besmirch their good name."
>
Every silly story Genma told Ranma is actually USEFULL.
Well. In some way....
>Elektra said nothing as she picked up the fight against him once again.
>Captain Japan's counterattack drove the fight to the bridge that
spanned the
>raging torrent formed on the far side of the reservoir. It was there
the duo
>entered their dance of violence in earnest.
>
Interesting.
>Thor's fists were itching to smite an opponent, and she was beginning to
>think abandoning the fight below was a mistake. For the fourth time in as
>many minutes, she yelled, "I will not dally around with thy lackeys,
>villain! Show yourself that we may do battle and decide who is the
mightiest
>of all!"
>
The, er, lack of lackeys doesn't help much....
>*Go ahead and try the doors. They're composed of a special osmium-titanium
>alloy that you'll never breach. This is your end, intruder!*
>
Well, unless the emergency shutdown kicks in from the disabled
coolant systems.
>With the last word, the engines roared fully to life.
>
Or, you know, not.
>"She tried to kill me and the others," he told himself. It wasn't even
good
>enough to be called a weak excuse. Sighing, he released his hold and dove
>into the water where he had seen the ninja vanish.
>
Hmm.
>Where the Hell had a green, muscle-bound piglet come from?
>
*snicker*
>The tension between the pair dissipated as Tarou walked over to Hawkeye's
>fallen form. A low moan was issuing from the archer's lips. "I do believe
>you're right," he said, then proceeded to kick the prone form in the gut.
>After the first two times, Hawkeye stopped moaning. Tarou added two
more for
>good measure. "That takes care of that." He turned to Speed Demon.
"Pry your
>buddy out of the wall and have him help out. Swordy, either pick up a body
>or throw yourself on your sword. And if you keep staring at me like that,
>your body will be joining theirs."
>
How is Speed Demon supposed to be able to get himself out of the
chains?
>The Mandarin raised the glass of wine to his lips as he watched the
results
>of his years long handiwork reach fruition from his monitor room. The
>rocket's liftoff had been a complete success, despite the goddess' attempt
>at stopping him. In twenty minutes it would reach its proper place in
orbit,
>and its payload would be released high above the atmosphere. Another hour
>for it to activate and move into its proper position after that, and it
>would all be over but the bargaining. Within the next forty-eight
hours, the
>Gods above willing, he would be master of the entire planet.
>
Yeah, right.
>The Mandarin maintained his composure. He lowly rose to his feet,
staring at
>her. It seemed every inch of her body had some burns on it. Her hair was
>singed, her cape was in ruins, and her costume had holes in it in some
very
>near revealing places. He shifted his attention uncomfortably away
from the
>flesh showing near the chest area and reminded himself what was at
stake. "I
>know it's clich�, but exactly how did you survive that little fire-trap of
>mine?"
>
lowly -- slowly
>Sensing something amiss, Thor ducked as stream of fire emitted from one of
>the rings on his left hand. Having been burned quite enough for one
day, she
>ducked, and heard the flames roar as they came into contact with the
rock of
>the wall.
>
She ducked twice.
>However by ducking instead of throwing her body aside, she was unable to
>evade the white beam that emitted from a different ring on the same hand.
>She felt something congeal around her legs, and found her legs and lower
>torso encased in ice. Rendered temporarily immobile, a red beam
emitted from
>a ring on his other hand and struck her high in the chest. The impact was
>tremendous, hurting her as it knocked her over. The ice prevented her from
>sprawling but left her as immobile as a turtle turned over on it shell.
>
it shell -- its shell
>Thor ducked the beam as it arched in a short line right where her head had
>been. The beam winked out, and she spun around to see the results of the
>silent blast. There was a foot long trail the height of a nickel cutting a
>groove clear through the wall. And the wall beyond it, and the wall beyond
>that one as well. It was then she realized that the back of her neck felt
>revealed. She placed her hand behind it, only to discover something was
>missing.
>
>"Thou didst destroy mine hair!" she raged.
>
Hehe....
>A wall of air, invisible to the Mandarin's naked eye, struck him, pinning
>him to the wall. He felt the air washing over him time and time again, and
>saw several objects flying in fast circles. It felt like tendrils of air
>reached down his throat and into his lungs, sucking the air out. Within
>seconds the Mandarin felt on the verge of passing out thanks to the
goddess'
>vortex. He was pinned so effectively that he couldn't even bring his rings
>to bear.
>
'sucking the air out' -- you already used 'air' in that sentence,
why not replace the second instance with 'breath'?
>With the gale relenting slightly, the Mandarin acted. Being granted the
>ability to see through the darkness created by his ring, he brought
his left
>hand up and released a short blast of compressed air from his Vortex ring.
>While it lacked the raw power of the maelstrom the goddess had
summoned, it
>was still an effective offensive weapon. Struck by the blast, Thor
lost her
>footing and stopped spinning the hammer around, sprawling to the
ground. Her
>body ached from the effort of producing the whirlwind as it did from the
>beam she had been hit with.
>
Man, Ifurita would probably love to play with this guy.
>A laugh erupted from Herb's mouth and echoed throughout the halls of the
>Musk Fortress. The world would be his to rule as he pleased, and it would
>remain so from now until the end of time.
>
Sorry about the delay in getting this to you, and I hope anything I
said helps. :p