First of all, I enjoyed "Goddess in the Mirror" and
this chapter is also enjoyable. Very few nits to pick,
actually, as you capture the AMG tone and
characterizations well, even if it's alternate
universe.

I'll add to a couple of Chan Wei Lik's comments before
starting on my own. Most of what he said was exactly
what I would have said if he hadn't beat me to it. 

--- Chan Wei Lik <weimin@pl.jaring.my> wrote:

Regardless, we hope you enjoy this first chapter,

which in all honesty, was
so fun to write.

It was quite an enjoyable read. Too bad you're busy
and can't finish the
rest soon.

My sentiments exactly!

"No, that wouldn't work." Megumi interjected.  "All

the wheels are on
different pivots, so it'd be next to impossible
steer it."

I believe it is possible. All the office chairs I
know their wheels on
shafts. Adjust the height properly and you can put
you legs on them and
steer by shifting your legs. Also, it should be
possible to lock some of the
wheels in one orientation.

Still, Megumi's focus isn't engineering so much as
sports, so she may be excused (and earn Keiichi's
gratitude) for missing the possibilities in the
design.

Motorized roller skates!

Sigel!

Now all they need is a rocket punch!

"Urd, I can't feel my link with Blessed Bell!"

Did you have to use THAT name? 

What he said. Even Studio Proteus seems to have gone
back to "Holy Bell" in later chapters.

Another thing, where
do you think angels go
when not summoned by their hosts?

Still, Holy Bell could be subconsciously supressed by
Belldandy.

you know as well as I do that leaving an angel

unattended for a long period
of time is just asking for trouble

Angels exist as extensions of their hosts' souls in
a sense. They are never
'unattended'.

I agree. It's probably more like an atrophied set of
muscles. If you haven't called your angel in a long
time, it could be difficult. Though as Urd
demonstrated with World of Elegance, the angel itself
won't be noticeably affected. It all depends upon the
reaction of the host.

***********************************

Now, for my own comments:

 The angel looked
around the room hastily, panic fading as she
adjusted to her surroundings.
Her eyes eventually settled on Belldandy, and she
cocked her head to the
side, perplexed.

"Blessed Bell?"  Belldandy reached into the air,
causing the angel to
flinch slightly.  Eyeing the hand doubtfully, she
finally reached out her
own hand and touched the tips of Belldandy's
fingers, floating downward so
that they were at eye level.  Curious, even slightly
suspicious, Blessed
Bell moved slowly from side to side, eying Belldandy
from every angle.

"It's okay," Belldandy whispered.  "It's just me."

This seemed to calm the angel slightly, although it
was clear that she
still wasn't quite at ease.

"I'm sorry I can't hear you," Belldandy apologized. 
"Something happened
to me a few months ago that made me forget who I
was--and I forgot about
you, too.  Now, I know things will be difficult for
a little while until
we can talk with each other again, but if we try
hard enough, we'll be
able to get through it, and everything will be okay
again."

Her angel would be to a large degree be reflecting
Belldandy's own emotional state, her own trepidation
at evoking her angel. Angels reflect their host's soul
and emotional state. Of course, there may be
"technical difficulties" brought about by Belldandy's
amnesia, but that angel would still act according to
Belldandy's deepest desire, even if in an embarrassing
manner such as Noble Scarlet did with Skuld and her
feelings toward Sentarou. 

"Bell," said Urd, as they headed back to the
kitchen, "I must say, I'm
impressed with how well Blessed Bell handled the
situation.  To be quite
honest with you, I was expecting her reaction to be
far worse.  But even
so, you know as well as I do that leaving an angel
unattended for a long
period of time is just asking for trouble--and
seeing as how you've got
classes to go to, you can't expect to be watching
her all the time."

Producing a large pot from one of the cupboards,
Belldandy set it under
the kitchen faucet and turned on the water.  "I
know," she said.  "I think
perhaps we should watch her in shifts.  Between you,
Keiichi, Megumi, and
I, it shouldn't be too difficult--and Skuld might
even be able to help out
every once in a while."

Why wouldn't Belldandy simply recall her angel when
she wasn't actively working on stabilizing the bond
between them?

I've gotten so used to
sharing my thoughts with
her that I feel like using my voice is almost doing
her an injustice.  If
I hadn't forgotten about her, then none of this
would have happened in the
first place."

Belldandy loves to sing with her angel.

"If you don't mind me asking... what's it like? 
Having an angel, I mean."

 
And yes, as has been mentioned before, you may want to
specify that this story occurs before the manga
chapter "Another Me" (in Dark Horse). Otherwise, folks
will wonder what happened to Urd's angel, World of
Elegance.

"Wait.  People out there *can't* see you?"

She nodded.

"Yes.  Yes, they can, or yes, they can't?"

Blessed Bell gestured exasperatedly, letting out a
silent mock-sigh.

"They can see you?"

The angel shook her head.

"So they *can't* see you?"

She nodded.

"Yes, they can't see you?"

She nodded again.

I'll have to check, but IIRC an angel can be seen by
anyone, though they usually move too quickly for the
eye to follow so people get left wondering "what was
that?"

"Bell," said Urd.  "Belldandy.  Snap out of it.  It
wasn't Keiichi.  The
fact that he's even aware of what's going on around
him right now is a
testament to his feelings for you.  Humans aren't
built to interact like
that with angels."

Belldandy closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky
breath.  "Keiichi," she
said slowly, "what just happened?"

Keiichi swallowed hard.  "I--I was sitting here
talking to her about that
night at the party when you and I were out here, and
then I looked over at
her, and she was right there, just looking at me.  I
couldn't--" he
trailed off.

"It's okay, Keiichi.  I believe you."

As in the case of Noble Scarlet, even an angel
"running rogue" would act out the inner desires of her
host. Belldandy would know this, that her angel had
only acted that way because it was what Belldandy
herself wanted to do. Of course, Belldandy may not
want to admit as much to Keiichi.

Good story, and like Chan Weil Lik said, I hope you
can find more time to work on it soon. Of course, that
would be the pot calling the kettle black since I'm
way behind on my own AMG fic!

Brian W.

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Movies - coverage of the 74th Academy Awards�
http://movies.yahoo.com/

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'