And here we go with responses.
version
using some of the C+C I did get. Sorry to clog the list if you did get
it
the first time. Not really any big changes to merit rereading this.
$But certainly enough to prompt C&Cing this one instead of the old one.
True. Hadn't considered that. Glad it could help, then.Used most of the
grammar comments, as usual.
"Are you done yet?"
"No." Idiotic bishonen playboy. The Iron Rose used the retractable
cutting
torch in her finger to complete a connection to the stealth system.
$Funny, since torches are usually used to sever connections. Unless
she's using some solder.
Yeah. That's it, solder. First time I wrote it I was more specific. One of
the preraders pointed out that what I was going to have her do would have
basically destroyed the aircraft. I changed it, as you might have guessed.
"Yo, Shellhead, this is taking a while."
"Forgive me, Captain-sama."
$Lead up, cue the joke. Heh.
And cued laughter. :)
attention
to Hawkeye. Now the obviously gay archer misinterpreted Daredevil's
interest
as being sexual instead of professional. Oh, on the surface that was
what
Hawkeye contended, but Daredevil could feel the archer's body betraying
him
by becoming aroused and knew better.
$How's his sense of smell? I mean, when you get down to it, that could
become obvious. This really is the weakest link.
Yep. Like I said, it's not going to last much longer.
Hawkeye darted out from under the grasping shoulder. Thor was getting a
little too friendly again. It was the sort of reaction she would have
preferred from Daredevil or that hunky Captain, but instead, thanks to
her
choice of camouflage, she was once again fending off the advances of a
woman.
$But what a woman indeed!
Acts almost like a lecherous guy, truth be known. :)
to assume Hawkeye was his best childhood buddy, and that had taken on
the
guise of a super hero. But then common sense returned and the Captain
nearly
kicked himself for causing a spectacle by hugging another guy. The
others
would think he was gay. And it was silly, really, the idea that this
Hawkeye
could be the same person from Ranma's own past.
$Will he realize once Daredevil informs them all that he's a she? Or
is it going to be one of those situations where she makes Daredevil
promise not to tell?
Wait and see is all I can say here.
Daredevil was about to explain, but changed his mind and entered without
another word. He had been beaten soundly, was trying hard not to pay
attention to Hawkeye, and the engines had distracted him. It was small
wonder he was imagining things. After all, the idea that a person could
be
the size of a wasp was absurd.
$Yeah, but try telling that to the author.
I've heard vague rumors regarding this. Like all things that disagree with
my interpetation of reality, I ignore them. :)
But she could not find the concentration necessary to use the technique.
The
reason for that was very simple. It was the eyes, those merciless orbs
that
seemed to bore into her mind. Even with her own lids closed, she could
still
feel them penetrating her and burning her with their unrelenting fires
from
within.
Her eyes whipped open. "Would you quit staring at my breasts?!"
$Heh heh, somehow I figured that.
With Lime and Mint around, what else could it be?
Both Power Man and Mint, who now refused to be called 'Whizzer',
continued
staring.
Mint said, "I can't help it. They're so... there."
$Aye, that they are.
Agree.
Mint said, "Probably not, but there is a minuscule chance I will if I
find
the story really interesting or it puts me to sleep."
$He's honest, at least.
True. It's not so much he's not bright as he blurts out what's on his mind
without thinking about it at first.
Mint said, "I take it you don't have many friends."
"No. None, really." It was a casual admission. She could have been
commenting on the weather for all of the emotion in her voice.
$She apparently just doesn't have the knack.
As someone else remarked, she doesn't have any enemies either, since they
end up like her friends. :)
"The test was a battle to the death, the survivor graduating, the loser
feeding the rats in the sewers.
$Mint: I like rats. They're so cute and fuzzy, and you can train them
to do tricks!
The clan we never hear about: Rat Clan. Most noticable attributes are the
ability to twitch their nose and eat anything that was once organic in
nature.
Satisfied they would give her some measure of peace until they landed
within
the next half hour,
$Even they're not stupid enough to be unaffected, I guess.
Yep.
her
sensei. He personally trained her in all the skills she would need to
serve
the Hand. From hand-to-hand combat, to weapons, to stealth, and even the
more carnal arts she might be required to employ to get close to her
targets, he taught her everything.
$Ah, this makes Tarou's comment later make more sense.
Yep.
that declaration, the almost inscrutable Matsuo Tsurayaba, one of the
most
lethal and dangerous members of the Hand, allowed a flare of anger to
enter
his eyes.
$Why? Not knowing much about Electra, I can only assume they were
related or something.
He was angry that she would choose to 'honor' a fallen foe rather than not
care about killing Elektra, which is what was supposed to be the end result.
If she holds onto the name, it implies a continuing emotional connection
that he doesn't want to exist.
Things were not happening the way Hawkeye had hoped they would.
While it was true that the quinjet flew fast, far faster than any
commercial
jet liner, and that they had taken off in pursuit of their long departed
assailants, this was not the happy-go-lucky group she had hoped it would
be
$Heh, yeah. Superfriends these people ain't.
But do you really want RanRan and LinLin to be the Wonder Twins in this
case? :)
she
didn't care for that and decided to stay close by. At the moment she was
maintaining a position to the Captain's right. It was a difficult
location
to maintain, considering the number of times Thor seemed to pop up
between
the two and rubbed shoulders with both of them. It made for an
uncomfortable
situation.
$Hey, there's plenty of Thor to go around.
Heh. Too much for some people's taste.
The only bright side to constantly being jostled by the goddess was the
close proximity to a major hunk like Captain Japan. Being near him
seemed to
counteract some of the odd feelings that affected her when she was near
Thor. Hawkeye had never been interested in women before, even if she did
crossdress, and had no intention of starting now with a six-foot,
five-hundred pound (yet unquestionably feminine) gaijin who proclaimed
herself a no longer worshipped deity.
$Who happens to be looking for a new high preist.
Nah. She gets by without them.
was
almost as though he found her some sort of enigma, and she found the
stare
unsettling instead of flattering. That, combined with the fact she was
really turned on by his physique, made talking with him awkward. She
felt
she couldn't risk starting a conversation without sounding like an idiot
or
blowing her cover. Or worse, managing to do both.
$Well, if she blew her cover, she'd be an idiot.
I guess that's one way of looking at it.
"Are we not there yet?" Thor asked.
"Don't start that again!" Iron Rose warned.
$Don't make me turn this plane back around young woman! Because I
will!
Heh
"For your information, the
Captain Japan inserted himself between the two. "Hey, ease off there,
Iron
Fern."
"That's Rose. Iron Rose," the armored warrior corrected.
$From anyone else, heh.
Yep, though she doesn't throw a 'sama' in this time, to show she didn't care
for the miss.
Thor scowled, placing her arms under her ample bust. "See here. If thou
wishes to fondle the Goddess of Thunder, it would be in thine best
interest
to do so under more private circumstances."
$Akane has issues, she does.
One of the major plots in this, yep.
and was going to do so. But somewhere on the neural pathway between
brain
and mouth the words got very twisted. Though now that she thought about
it,
would it be so wrong to have such a strapping example of mortal flesh to
wile away the time with?
$Somewhere, in an alternate universe, a male Thor is shifting
uncomfortably.
Heh.
Yun-Lo was already praying the soul would find eternal peace. "There
isn't
going to be anyone to help, I'm afraid. There's no way anyone could have
survived that crash. It was the will of the gods they were to meet their
end
this day."
"It was the will of whoever shot them down with that beam of light."
"Around here, it's much the same thing."
$Heh, good line.
That one seemed to go over well.
"Bah!" the Goddess of Thunder snorted. "The next thing thou wilt claim
is
that there really are Stone Men from Saturn. All know there are not such
things as beings from outer space."
$If a response to this hadn't already been posted to the FFML, I would
have never gotten this. I'm really not in the intended audience, here.
Actually I mentioned them in Chapter 1, so there is a point of reference for
it.
Thor looked down at the small injuries on her shoulder and arm. "Thou
hast
my thanks for thy gesture, but it would take far more than these mere
scratches to affect mineself. With mine own Asgardian heritage, it
should
take but a few minutes for them to heal fully. Save your medicines for
one
of the more fragile members of this company should they suffer injury."
$Akane must be so happy. She's actually got the most raw power of the
group. Hell, I don't even know if Ryoga could stand up to more than a
few good swats with that hammer.
Well, keep in mind this Akane has a physical handicap, which means she's
even more delighted at being strong.
"Enough of this!" Captain Japan shouted, interposing himself between the
two
before another fight erupted.
$For a natural leader, so to speak, he's not being very leading.
His 'followers' aren't good 'followers'. :)
"Or better yet, a training academy where they learn how to become evil
overlords. Hahahaha!"
$I could direct you to a nice website... Although, to be honest, it
does seem to go against what evil overlords actually do.
I see. I know there's a list for them somewhere out there.
Not content to leave things alone, Thor went up to a part of the
mountainside and said, "And how wouldst we go about finding this,
'Secret
Entrance'? Perhaps we would but knock, and they would open this door for
us." She tapped her hammer against the side of the mountain.
$Bah, it should have crumbled in then.
Now. It's thick and she didn't hit it hard.
In response, Iron Rose moved forward to stand next to Thor. She twisted
the
left upper arm of her armor. Several pieces of metal unfolded from their
previously concealed housing on the arm. Each piece was long and fairly
thin. All of them became progressively narrower until they tapered to a
point. A second adjustment, and all the pieces bent slightly near the
arm. A
third one, and they moved outward again towards the end of the Iron
Rose's
arm, coming together to form what appeared to be the head of a very
large
drill.
$That description ment nothing to me. I still can't see it. If you
feel like being picky, you might want to reword it.
I'll see about it.
"I incorporated this specifically for digging and excavation. I believe
it
will fulfill our needs. You might have raw power, dearie, but I possess
some
degree of versatility that simply can't be matched. Ohohohoho!"
Thor scowled as Iron Rose went to work. The remaining trio made certain
to
steer clear of both women. They could practically feel the sparks
jumping
from the pair of heroes. And they weren't always metaphysical as Thor
tapped
her hammer to the ground and sparks were actually leaping from it.
$Couldn't Thor do something with lightening?
Yep, but she's taking a back seat now. Kodachi really has the right tool for
the job in this case.
"We've gone upwards precisely fifty-three point four meters from our
initial
starting point," Iron Rose informed her.
"Got an altimeter in there?" Hawkeye asked.
$Or a dead reconing inertial tracker?
Iron Rose: Somewhere in there. If it's needed for the plot, definitely.
In answer, the words "Yappa pan, yappa pan, ish a ten," began blaring
out
over her speakers.
$Un huh. I'd have figured something a lot more compact than a CD
player. Minidisk, maybe, or solid state memory.
A music player was the general idea when Ukyou issued the challenge.
"I would prefer them that way. If they have power, I would unlock their
secrets and take them for myself. One can never have too much power.
$What was it... Ah. No matter how much I desire overwhelming power, I
will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
Herb: I'm of the dragon blood. I'll eat whatever I want, so there. :P
Swordsman gave a sweeping bow. "It will be as you say. I will see to it
that
all of them are brought to you intact."
"Then go, my Lethal Legion.
$And Mint beams with pride.
Yep. Mandy had to call them something. it's as good as anything.
Bring me these meddlers, or bring me their
heads. Either way, see to it they are brought to me."
Sticking his head in the hole, Ryouga called out, "Hello, is there
anybody
in there?"
Only his voice echoed back.
$What, Wasp and Giant Man have already left?
Still unconscious. They pop up early next chap.
"Well excuse me, but some of us don't have your inhuman hearing,"
Captain
Japan shot back. Under his breath, he mumbled, "What kind of power is
super
hearing anyway? It's as stupid as having super breath."
$Or super humor. Personally, I always wanted super lust.
Super scoring with the chicks was what I always wanted. Sort of like Tenchi
syndrome.
"I heard that!" Daredevil snapped back.
"Even Volstagg the Voluminous could rarely create a stench as repulsive
as
that," Thor added somberly.
$Careful. I think Howard Stern already has the rights to Fartman.
Probably.
In completely innocent tones, she said, "Thou didst have a wedgie. Twas
most
unseemly."
$I can just picture Herb watching all this on a video relay, shaking
his head sadly.
Heh
"He is truly a man among men," Thor declared with a somewhat stupid
grin.
$Nuh unnh. And she could be bi, as someone already pointed out.
But they aren't perverted enough to think along those lines.
know
I am, even I am reluctant to take on all four of them on my own. So I
believe it would be in our best interest to settle our differences
another
time. Besides, I do believe I see a light coming from the tunnel in
front of
us."
$It's clearly the headlamp of an oncoming train.
The reaction of several others as well. I didn't even think about it, truth
be told.
$And we're all left hanging. Except part b has already been posted, so
I'll nip over there and start commenting on it now. I've really got to
get back into the swing of this.
Cool. Look forward to it. Still have the latest chapter of Aurora in the
backlog. Might be a while till I get to it, since I want to do a fic next.
Been almost 2 weeks since I worked on something new. Getting real itchy
lately.
Not too many mistakes in this, but this was the second draft.
Still found some other missed. Also ones I should not have missed. It was
all very useful. Thanks a lot. Now I got a decision to make. As I write
this, I mentally debate about sending a prologue to the list of the next
project I plan to do after I'm done with the current arc in Avenging. I
guess it all depends on how big a bastard I'm feeling today. I hate sitting
on work I have completed. I ought to resist the temptaion though, since
it'll be at least a couple of months until I can work on it full time, at
least at my current rate of writing. We'll see, I guess.
D.B. Sommer
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