Suggested changes: {before : after}
--
Mac :})
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Danna Sean" <carrotglace@mindspring.com>
To: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Monday, March 25, 2002 16:51
Subject: [FFML] The Three Saotomes[Part 31][R.5]

    "I don't need you catching cold. Besides, wouldn't you rather be a
man anyway?" said the {boy : boy : girl} who was standing next to him with

a slightly

irritated frown. {He : He : She} had an umbrella of {her : his : her} own

and looked like {she : he : she} was

growing irritated with the conversation.

You have scrambled the gender pronouns.  I've marked the alternatives as
{original : boy : girl} depending on what the viewpoint character thinks
Ukyo is.  I'm not sure where the viewpoint is from that this place, but it
looks like Midori, so I've put her assumptions first.

    "He never grew his hair back mother. I'd say he's still a bit
bitter," was her son's reply.

How about "His hair never grew back, Mother." ?

    Soun and Genma both looked at her for a moment. They were both
relatively used to her bursts of profanity {as :} of late. Kasumi seemed
to be the only one having a hard time with it.

    "You could go out {into : to} the dojo," commented Soun.

    The girl readied herself and tensed as he {skid : slid} his foot

across the

ground creating a small cloud of dust as he set himself.

    Akane walked home calmly. She was deep in thought and had a
serious expression on her face as she moved closer and closer {towards :

to}

her destination. Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice
though.

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