At 10:20 23.03.2002, you wrote:
Hi! Nice to see another of the old (and long and good) stories
make a comeback. Not that I have much talent for writing and
thereby C&C'ing, so take it the usual IMO only please.
"Nobody walks cats, silly." Akane swung her arms, enjoying
Hah! Thinkest thou.
Ranma had a sudden mental image: Akane, wearing only a
strategically-draped pink sash and sporting a tiny pair of
fluttering wings, swooped down on Kasumi waving a big hammer
decorated with red hearts.... "Heh. It's kinda hard to think of
you as the Cupid of Love, but okay. What's the plan?"
[blink ... blinkblinkblink] There just _has_ to be a 'fic in that, and
I can't recall ever reading anything using that particular imagery.
I'm betting that someone is going to do at the very least a spamfic
by next week, or I'm going to have to check whether I'm still
subscribed to the FFML.
The glad cry from the street outside gave Akane and Ranma
just enough time to get out of the way as a white-clad figure
sped through the open door and flung herself on Doctor Tofu.
"Boese Junge! Such a time you gave poor Gertrude finding you!"
This isn't really the place for it, but it's the first opportunity in a=
while
and I've been wondering about this for some time now. Gratuitous
use of foreign languages has been with us from the beginning, and I
do think that it's a valid stylistic element in writing, anime or wherever.
There are very few german-speaking people who didn't at least get
a chuckle out of NGE's "Asuka Strikes" episode for example, and
I'll never be allowed to forget one extended bout of hilarity (and
embarrassment) at the Institut fuer Japanologie here in Vienna
when I tried to ask a group of visiting japanese students about
japanese fanfiction and we came across some older stories from
before doing this kind of thing became one of the big no-no's.
Most of the charm comes from horrible accents and even
worse grammar, and I can assure you that the japanese are
laughing at least as hard about our attempts at japanese as we are
about theirs at german, english or whatever. Deliberately trying to
imitate mistakes almost never works out, but if it is an honest
mistake, should it really be corrected thereby taking most of the
fun out of it? (btw, its "Boeser Junge.")
Now that she was stationary, Akane and Ranma were able to
get a better look. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties, a
little younger than Tofu but older than Kasumi. Her red hair was
her most singular feature, the kind of red that is nearly orange
and accompanied by a wash of freckles; she wore it short, a neat
no-nonsense cut under a starched white cap. Her dress matched
the cap, and she filled it nicely. She wasn't quite plump, but
if Ranma or Akane had known what "zaftig" meant, they would have
? what what means ?
applied it to her immediately; she looked like she ought to be
wearing a dirndl and toting four mugs of beer in each hand
without benefit of trays.
Well, I guess I can imagine. An americanized german thingy?
(The closest analogy would probably be to think of
Austrian/German attitudes as the european equivalent to
Canadian/US.)
"What, you don't count our encounter in the linen closet?"
the nurse asked, incredulous. "Twilli-willi-witt UND boom-boom,
Doktor Ost-wind-axe." She fanned herself ostentatiously,
smiling.
[snort] so it was the right place after all
The nurse gave up the clothing without a struggle and
continued. "Are you sure you don't want to go back to Okayama,
Doktor Tofu? This town is filled with perverts."
[snigger]
"I'm not sure I do either, but... surely you've noticed that
people who already have someone seem to attract more, um,
attention than people who don't? You could go along for years
with no one looking twice at you, and then you get a special
friend and suddenly everyone's after you."
Ranma grimaced. "Oh, yeah. I didn't know it was that way
for anyone else, though."
[!] ... probably not _quite_ the Takahashi way
"But, Doktor!" Gertrude boggled for a moment, then raced
after Tofu. "I will accompany you, then, for your own safety!"
The clinic door slammed shut, then suddenly opened. "Dreimal-
verfluchte ding!" The "Out to Lunch" sign rattled and the door
slammed again. "Wait for me, Liebchen!"
"verfluchtes Ding!". Thrice damned thing doesn't really sound
appropriate for this situation though. "Verflucht noch einmal!"
might work better.
Gertrude's eyes lit up. "Ach, was fur eine angenehme
Uberraschung! Seit lange--" She broke off; Kasumi was blushing
and shaking her head, with a slightly-flustered smile.
Are you going for the usual transcription of the Umlaut =FC>ue or not?
Tofu blinked rapidly behind his glasses. "Omiai? Not
engaged... yet?" he said weakly. He looked at Taro.
"My daughter is of marriageable age," Soun said,
gesturing to the young woman clad in a fine kimono who knelt
at his side. "There was someone else who might have been
interested, but for some reason he never approached us...
ah, well, that's in the past." He tucked his hands into his
haori coat and assumed a benevolent look. "I'm sure she'll
make you a fine wife, lad."
Lounging unaccompanied on the other side of the low
table, Taro leered sociably at Kasumi. "Whatever you say,
Pops. You won't mind if I try her out first, though...?"
Kasumi blushed, lowered her head, and nodded shyly.
Might want to mark the flashback more clearly. It threw me
for a moment, but then I am reading this while typing the reply
and the re: markings are not helping.
Ranma wasn't paying attention to either of them. "The
canal's that way," he remarked to Akane.
"Oh, no...."
Splash! "MOOO!"
"Oh, yes," Ranma and Akane said in rueful unison, but it was
too late. A huge, hairy hand reached into the room, seized the
bug-eyed doctor, and yanked him off his feet and out the window.
Gertrude screamed shrilly. Akane darted for the other room as
Ranma dived out the window.
Ah yes, here is were I remember Gertrudes aversion to octopus
tentacles. Heh flashes of Dragon Half ending theme anyone?
In the street outside, Taro gave a bovine smirk at the foe
held helpless in his abominable-snowman hand. "Heh, heh, heh."
diablo?
Splash! "MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The roar of an infuriated
monster shattered the night.
"Oh, crap," Ranma said with feeling.
"Zun-cha-cha--" Doctor Tofu cavorted towards the doorway.
"--zun-cha-cha--" Ranma and Akane hastily stepped out of his
way, and Akane shoved Gertrude back. "--zun-cha-cha--" Tofu
waltzed merrily into the evening.
"MOO!" Taro-monster's bellow was triumphant.
"--zun-cha-cha--"
"I've got a really bad feeling about this," Ranma said to
Akane.
Akane nodded. "Me too."
"I can't think of any way to stop it."
Akane shook her head. "Me either."
"This is gonna be awful."
Akane nodded. "Poor Taro-kun..."
"Oh, hello, Monster-san!" Snap!
"Moo?"
"You really should do something about that spine condition!"
Crackle!
"MOOooOOO!"
"Oh, your poor arm-- how did that happen?" Pop!
"Moo-ugh." The impact of an immense body shook the ground.
BWAHAHAHAHA snigger rest in miscellaneous bretzel shape ...
"My goodness, isn't this... interesting," said Kasumi
brightly, appearing at the other door and smiling at the newcomer
with eyes like little arches.
"Ka-Kasumi-san!" Tofu warbled, whirling.
Ranma staggered back and looked at Akane. "Oh, jeez."
Akane nodded weakly. "You got a plan for this, Cupid?"
Akane nodded again. "I'm going home," she said.
"GOOD plan."
~~~~~ end chapter 5 ~~~~~
What can I say? Sorry it took so long. ^_^;
Good stuff, though. Very _very_ nice storytelling. No real room for
improvements that I can spot, anyway.
'till then.
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