Here be comments on this. I don't want to do a full C&C because I honestly 
feel it doesn't warrant it. Not doesn't need it, just doesn't warrant.

I think the idea of the story is interesting enough, but it feels mad 
disconnected. If you wanted a shortfic about Nodoka's seppku (?) issues, 
there could have been better ways to set this plot off. It just doesn't feel 
like the direction of your story was coming through. I was consistently 
confused about what the punchline, hook or setup for this was going to be 
and when I didn't see one I just felt very cheated.

That being said, I like the idea but it just doesn't seem like it's been 
cooked in the brandywyne of good plot development. I think it's a good piece 
but stunted in it's growth.

...but then again, that's one little opinion from an author with his own 
issues. ^_^

Mark G.

P.S. As to the writing itself (grammar, word usage, etc.), I think you had a 
good flow going. I don't like editing much beyond simple spelling and 
grammatical errors and I didn't see much of them. And if they were there, 
I'm confident they were intended.

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