I don't own any of these characters.  I'm just playing around a bit.

Thinking of the Ranma-as-relative-to-half-the-Aniverse fics I've been
reading lately, I came up with a silly idea....

***

Relatives

by Steffan

***

It was a summit meeting at the highest level.  An Empire and a Kingdom were
discussing matters of dire importance.

"More cookies?" Sasami asked, offering a tray.

"Mrrfm," Usagi Tsukino said.  "Thnnnk yfff."  She took a double handful.

"Usagi-chan," Ami Mizuno said in a gentle voice, "perhaps we should continue
with what we were discussing."

Makoto Kino snorted.  "Let her be, Ami-chan," she said.  "So, Tenchi, do you
have a girlfriend?"

Ryoko and Ayeka bristled.  "I don't think you should pursue *that* line of
questioning, Jupiter-san," Ayeka huffed.  "We were, as I recall, discussing
matters of state."

Setsuna smirked.  "Yes, princess, we were," she said.  "Besides, Makoto, I
don't think Tenchi is looking for a girlfriend right now.  You may have
noticed that his home life is quite complicated."

Tenchi sighed and nodded.  "That, Meiou-san, is a good way to put it."

"In fact," Setsuna said, "the only person I can think of with a more
complicated home life would have to be Ranma Saotome."  She smirked.  This
was going to be entertaining.

"You know Ranma?" several voices chorused.  They looked at each other.
Pluto's smirk broadened to a grin.

"He's my cousin," Tenchi said.  "His mother is my aunt Nodoka."

"He's *my* cousin," Usagi said.  "His father is my uncle Genma."

"Hold on," Makoto said.  "My sempai is your cousin?"

"What?" Minako Aino said.  "You know him?"

Ami blinked.   "Ranma....." she said.  And blushed.

"Ami-chan?" Makoto said.  "You know him, too?"

"Where did *you* meet him?" Haruka Ten'oh asked.

"Oh, no," her roommate Michiru Kai'oh moaned.  "You know him, too?"

"Ranma-sensei?" Chibi-Usa trilled.  "Do we get to meet him now, Puu?"

Everyone stared at the pink-haired neophyte Senshi.

"Ranma-*sensei*?" Usagi sputtered.  "Do I want to know about this?"

"No," Setsuna smirked.  "Especially when he begins to teach you how to fall
from a house."

Katsuhito Masaki cleared his throat.  "I take it, Setsuna, that you know
where he is?"

Setsuna's grin broadened further.  "You could say that, yes."

"Where is he?" several voices demanded.

"Let me tell you a story about a training trip," Setsuna said....

***

Ranma sneezed.  Several times.

"Ranma, are you coming down with a cold?" his mother fretted.

"Naw, Mom, I don't think so," he said.  "The only time I get sick is when I
eat something the tomboy cooked.."

"Raaaaannnnmaaaaaa...."  Akane growled.  "You promised."

Ranma sighed.  "You're... right, Akane.  I'm.......  sorry."  Amazing how
hard it was to say that, even now.

"I...... forgive you," Akane choked.  They'd promised Nodoka that they'd be
nicer to each other.  Amazing how hard it was to not hit him, she reflected.

"......Thank you," Ranma muttered.

"You're....... welcome," Akane gritted.  She went upstairs to change into
her gi.  It was about time to go pound on a training dummy again.

***

Haruka pinched the bridge of her nose.  Hard.

"Okay," she said.  "So you're saying he's engaged to a dozen girls,
including all of the Inners...."

"Also including yourself and Michiru," Setsuna said.

"...Right," Haruka said.  "And he's an insanely powerful martial artist who
could probably wipe the floor with everyone in this room, transformed or
not...."

"That would, I think, be a realistic assessment of his capabilities,"
Setsuna judged.

"... And he's destined to play a major role in Crystal Tokyo as well...."

"I've seen as much in the Time Gate," Setsuna admitted.

"And it's all his father's fault?"

"Yes," Setsuna said.

"I see I have much to... discuss... with my son in law," Katsuhito said.

Makoto cracked her knuckles.  "If he survives what *we* do to him, you're
welcome to what's left," she growled.

"I propose an alliance," Ayeka said.  "Between the Empire of Jurai and the
Moon Kingdom.  Specifically to punish Genma Saotome for the crime of
breathing."

"Sounds good to me," Rei said.  "Usagi-chan?"

Usagi stood in front of Tenchi and held out her hand.  Tenchi stood and took
Usagi's hand.  They gazed into each others' eyes and chorused, "Done!"

Tenchi looked at Washu.  "Washu-chan, can you transport us to where Ranma
is?"

"Nerima?  No problem, Tenchi-dono," Washu smirked.  "I can even put us all
inside the dojo where he's staying," she said.

"Let's do it," Usagi said.  She grabbed her brooch.  "Moon Crystal Power,
MAKE UP!!!"

***

Akane was in the yard beating the daylights out of a training dummy when she
heard a commotion inside the dojo.  She broke off what she was doing and
looked inside the building.  She saw.... the Sailor Senshi?  And several
people, some of them in strange-looking armor with... silly poof balls....
All of them with serious demeanors.

"What are you people doing here?" Akane demanded.

"Is Ranma Saotome here?" a young man with.... stripes... on his face....
asked.

Akane frowned.  "You're not here to challenge him, are you?"

The young man looked startled.  "What?  No, of course not.  I'm his cousin,
Tenchi Masaki."

Akane blinked.  "Oh.  Well.   Pleased to meet you.  I'm Akane Tendo, heir to
the Tendo school of Anything Goes Martial Arts."

A small, pink-haired girl in a Senshi fuku bounced out of the pack and
glomped Akane.  "Akane-sensei!"

***

Ranma-chan opened the gate and entered the Tendo compound.  *Dang
ladle-lady, anyhow*, she groused.  And froze.  Several people -- girls in
skimpy costumes, and men and women in strange armor -- and what the heck was
with the poof balls? -- were talking to a dazed-looking Akane in the yard.
Something *pink* had glomped Akane and didn't seem to be planning to let go
of her anytime soon.

She started reading the auras of the people around Akane.... and froze.  She
knew far too many of those people, especially the girls.  While she wouldn't
mind talking to Usagi and Tenchi again, the presence of so many other people
she knew -- especially when so many of them were cute girls -- spelled
nothing but trouble.  Maybe if she could use the Umisenken ---

Huge pink eyes tracked a sudden movement.  The pink barnacle abruptly
launched herself from Akane.

"Ranma-sensei!"  Sailor Chibi-Moon trilled as she glomped the redhead.
Everyone looked in her direction.

Ranma had time for one thought.

*Kuso.*

***

If anyone wants to take this idea any further, please feel free.  I'm just
playing, here.









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