At 09:28 PM 3/21/02 -0500, you wrote:

YAY! Another chapter!  

Please forgive me for being so...lacking...in my C&C compared to the size
of this fic, but you really don't leave much to complain about in your
writing.  Well...except this little typo.

    Relax, she told herself firmly.  Why would she go there
now?  Even if Spasma really is in that spooky castle-thing, Ami
wouldn't be headstrong enough to go investigate on her own. 
Minako, yes.  Ami, no way.

?Spasma? Umm, not sure how that got through the pre-reading but that's all
I could find. (Or was it supposed to be an intentional slip of the tongue?)
No other massive spelling errors, no gaping plot holes, no out of control
characters.  The only other niggling little thing that has been bothering
me is this:  Why hasn't Ami tried to do a search about the "Church of the
Sentinel"?  If her 'daytime' job is looking things (information) up why
didn't she do this for something that obviously touches on matters close to
the senshi? Or any other 'mysterious' new happenings?  (Sorry, this has
been bothering me for a few chapters now...)

Other than that, the new developements w/regard to Dasma and Banri were a
surpise!  Those revelations really floored me.  Great job!

On the other hand, (not being sure about where you put Ranma's skill at) I
do have to wonder about how little Ranma is using things like the Saotome
Hidden techniques.  Has he kept them locked away for a reason, or are you
just keeping his abilities in wait for just the perfect moment?  Although
considering the previous stories it does seem like you have been keeping
the wilder Martial arts stuff pretty low-key.  If you are going this route
I do wish you would at least show in someway how Ranma's strength is always
at hand unlike the Senshi's need to transform.  The scene from a previous
chapter where Ranma rescues Venus from Saerkinna, was the only indication
(other than the Neko-ken) of how strong/talented Ranma is.  (I loved that
one!)  His morning Kata scene at the mansion didn't seem to do the job at
all.  As it stands, almost all of the fights were Ranma is battling
monsters seem...well...droll.  IE. The senshi don't seem to be much
surprised (or their surprise is very low key) at how Ranma is able to fight
monsters without weapons or magic, ie. there seems to be some *blind spot*
in relation to how the senshi think of his abilities.  

I really seem to have difficulty explaining what is bothering me about
this...so I'll leave you with this little wish:  Could you please work some
of Ranma's more 'esoteric' Martial arts skills into the flavor of the
story?  Stuff like Martial Arts Tea Ceremony skills or Martial Arts Rythmic
Gymnastics.  No need to go wild with them though...just use them like you
do the senshi's trademark attacks.  (Think back to where Ryouga and Ranma
are 'practicing' before the fight with Kodachi in the manga, and how they
insult each other by using the ribbons to make words.) So rather than just
having Ranma throw chi-bolts around, have him use stuff like Ryouga's
bandanna trick more often.  (Stuff like 'Ladle strike' gets my vote.)
Otherwise I get the feeling from the story that Ranma's fights are rather
Generic.  (Just his fighting mind you.  What you have him
thinking/saying/doing in the battles is great.  Nothing missing there,
nothing really overdone power wise.  There are enough Super-Ranma stories
out there as it is. ;) )  
      
Argh! Now I have to wait for the next chapter since I already finished this
one and you've left us on such a juicy cliffhanger too!



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